Brenth Flexingworth - The author's original work

Musiconomist

The man sat in his cubicle, staring through the screen. Think! he thought. His fingers nervously cupped the mouse like an inappropriate, opportunistic grope in a morgue. If he can do it, I can too, he thought. I mean, I thought. I mean, I think. I am? he thought, sidetracked now.

What about the critics? he thought. What about the critics? he counterthought, stressing the about with mental italics to emphasise that it was a contrasting opinion, rather than the same one as he had thought about seconds previously. F*ck it. What do the critics know? He tried to think of a word to insult potential critics for later use. Critins or cretics perhaps? No... he thought. Too sh*te.

He entered a state of near nonsenselessness within his head, a quad-focusation of mind, body, spirit and something else. He knew without knowing how or checking his email that it was time to bite the bullet.

His fingers danced across the keyboard like traditional Irish dancers with tragically deformed legs which resemble fingertips, or any kind of dancer with that deformity. A stream of words flowed across the monitor, random letters recklessly scattered carelessly, and with abandon, but which transformered into words.

"Brenth broke the silence and the man's face with a snapslap and a lukewarm quip about the next time the man ordered room service. The man's jaw had time to briefly break into a smile at Brenth's punchline, then a million pieces. Brenth wished he had said "punchline" to the man before but it was too late now. Ahaha he thought..."

He hastily deleted the text, punching the backspace key like a boxer punching a big punching bag with someone's face pinned to it in that person-in-the-poster's face with his fingertip.

F*CK! he shouted, with his brain. F*cking Trent!... Who's Trent? he thought. Strange... He meant to think Brenth... He meant.......

Insect Overlord

Pro-tip: Parody of popular work only really works as satire when it's funny.

Agent Weebley

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Pro-tip: Parody of popular work only really works as satire when it's funny.

I thought it was funny!

A* and D*, and now, apparently, Musiconomist, seem to be PTSDing as to the validity of their writing, in the advent of padraiggg coming back (sorry?) This is to be expected, as the previous 177,000 views is definitely an accomplishent . . . now he or she does a mere 2 posts of 232 then 242 words, getting over 8000 views and over 80 comments (currently.)

Would you all like me to abduct padraiggg to The AirCar for some alien probing as to how he or she does it?

I think this was a healthy "talking it out," and especially cool, since he or she just threw it out there for consumption. It thought it was a tasty treat.

Ow . . . my tooth!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S96gNBAiSo4

Insect Overlord

Would you ever cop on and post something that follows a logical progression? Your gibberish is fine in your own blog, but I can't take your attempts at feedback seriously at all. Discussion threads should be about communication, not about your real life fantasy games.

Agent Weebley

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Would you ever cop on and post something that follows a logical progression? Your gibberish is fine in your own blog, but I can't take your attempts at feedback seriously at all. Discussion threads should be about communication, not about your real life fantasy games.

Why, thank you!

Musiconomist

His busty assistant Lisa popped her head round the corner. "Can I get you anything sir?"

The man sitting in the chair sat and rubbed his chin where there wasnt stubble because he had shaved. "....", he didn't say in a way that made him sound cool. His eyes said the rest.

"But sir," she said,"you're the greatest selling author of the Flexingworth trilogy, the greatest trilogies of books ever written. You've won awards for being the greatest director, star and composer of all time for the Brenth Trilogy. You can have anything you want. You're easily the richest bachelor on earth, and ..... "

He looked at her with a look that said a question.

"And I.... I... love you! I'm sorry!.... I... You're the most man I've ever met!" she blurted. He threw his muscular head back and laughed the way only a billionaire with a generous penis can. She left after a few minutes of silence, and the man walked over to the window to look out of it. "Yes I am...." he said to the reflection that was his in the window. And then he slowly said it again...

pickarooney

This is kind of pathetic, to be honest. Can't you write something of your own?

Musiconomist

Thanks for the feedback guys, really appreciate the enthuse! Spoiler alert: There's some major character dev coming! Hope you like the new Max as much as the old!




"Oh Maxi! What an election!" she whispered into his ear. After he had finished, he pulled a lever and opened his parachute. "You're fired!" he said to the asian skydiving instructor, with a blink. She had started crying soon after which made the remaining two minutes in the air uncomfortable. Max pointed out buildings that he owned.

His busty new assistant Linda pulled up in a cool sports car when they landed, and held out clean underwear for Max to step into. He laughed like a man who has just had sex with an asian without paying. "To the White House..." Max said to the driver. There was an ominousness in the car as the car was driven, like something bad was about to befall something. Or someone...





Honestly though, I'm just messing around. I just wanted to have a laugh and see what it was like to write like that. It is my homage to padraiggg. This is just a tester for me to see what works and what doesnt.

Oryx

It doesnt work because its trying to hard. Padraiggg may have his flaws and typos, but he has an uncanny ability to write ridiculously contrived stuff and still have it sound fresh. Yours does not sound fresh.

Musiconomist

Oryx wrote: »

It doesnt work because its trying to hard. Padraiggg may have his flaws and typos, but he has an uncanny ability to write ridiculously contrived stuff and still have it sound fresh. Yours does not sound fresh.

Thanks for the support mods!:) I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised when Max finds out about.... :eek: Whoa!!! I nearly let it slip!!!

It'll be character development times one million. It'll be like , then:mad:, then :cool:, with intrigue and emotions at every turn. There's even a subplot. The last 300 pages will really tie it all together nicely.

Oryx

/unsubscribes.

Mr E

Oryx wrote: »

/unsubscribes.

That's the funniest thing I have read in this thread. Sorry OP.

Musiconomist

Mr E wrote: »

That's the funniest thing I have read in this thread. Sorry OP.

Everyone knows mods opinions dont count. Those who can't, mod.

coffee_cake

Musiconomist wrote: »

Everyone knows mods opinions dont count. Those who can't, mod.

Why do you post for feedback if you don't want it?

Musiconomist

bluewolf wrote: »

Why do you post for feedback if you don't want it?

I'm waiting for constructive feedback, as opposed to "it's not funny", "not fresh" and "trying too hard". Could you imagine an English teacher writing that on a pupil's essay?

Fair enough, people are entitled to their opinions, but too many mods (it seems) just like to let rip on people who offer something. There's no encouragement at all. Sure, even padraiggg's initial posts were fairly shredded for a good while before his genius was recognised.

coffee_cake

An English teacher would be having a stern word with you for copying another student's work.
If you want genuine feedback, write something genuine and stop ripping off someone else's work and expecting the "genius" comments to kick in.

Insect Overlord

Musiconomist wrote: »

I'm waiting for constructive feedback, as opposed to "it's not funny", "not fresh" and "trying too hard". Could you imagine an English teacher writing that on a pupil's essay?

My Leaving Cert English teacher used to make exactly such comments. He pushed me harder than any of my other teachers and in the long run it was worth it. Sometimes you just have to be told these things bluntly.

Musiconomist wrote: »

Fair enough, people are entitled to their opinions, but too many mods (it seems) just like to let rip on people who offer something.

Cop on with that shite. It's got nothing to do with us being moderators. We're all very different people.

Musiconomist wrote: »

There's no encouragement at all. Sure, even padraiggg's initial posts were fairly shredded for a good while before his genius was recognised.

You're not going to be recognised as a genius for this thread. Sorry to burst that bubble. You are very obviously ripping off another writer's idiosyncratic style. That's not cool in any medium.

Musiconomist

bluewolf wrote: »

An English teacher would be having a stern word with you for copying another student's work.
If you want genuine feedback, write something genuine and stop ripping off someone else's work and expecting the "genius" comments to kick in.

I dont expect praise for what I've written here. It was never serious, and I never intended it to be. It started as one thing, an expression of the utter helplessness I felt when reading a superior writer's work, and became another. The light hearted sentiment I had when initially posting has been thoroughly drained from me.

I am working on different pieces and I will post them once they are finished.

Mr E

Looking forward to reading them, Musiconomist.

Oryx

Musiconomist wrote: »

I dont expect praise for what I've written here. It was never serious, and I never intended it to be. It started as one thing, an expression of the utter helplessness I felt when reading a superior writer's work, and became another. The light hearted sentiment I had when initially posting has been thoroughly drained from me.

I am working on different pieces and I will post them once they are finished.

My feedback was geniuine. I wasnt going to tell you something was good if it wasnt, and you knew you were copying padraiggg, but unfortunately it wasnt recieved as well as you expected because you tried, hard, to mimic a style that is good because it is bad. Its hard to be genuinely funny, and I think you need to find your own style to project your own humour, not just ape someone elses.

I do hope you post more pieces, I would be interested in seeing what your own style is like.

And Im not a mod of this forum, so my opinion is the same as anyone elses.

--Kaiser--

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery