Looking for info....

My magic umbrella

First of all, as you can see this is my forst post, although I have been a long time lurker on boards.... Secondly, apologies if I am in the wrong forum, but I just need some help and I cant seem to find a relevent thread, I was thinking of posting in the relationship forum, but I have friends who visit there and this is a sensitive issue which I dont want them to read about.

So basically my problem is this.... my boyfriend has recently entered a treatment facility for cocaine, alchol and gambling addictions ( he doesnt do things by halves !) and I find I have so many issues getting me head around what is going on, I attend family group sessions in the facility, and last week I went to my first Al-Anon meeting, but I was wondering if someone might know of an online forum where I could go to try and get more clarification, I have tried looking online but I seem to be only able to find chat rooms that do online al-anon meetings at specific times. Issues are arising since he has been in there and I dont know who to turn to to get advise.

Again, sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, any help would be greatly appreciated!

Dka e80

My magic umbrella wrote: »

First of all, as you can see this is my forst post, although I have been a long time lurker on boards.... Secondly, apologies if I am in the wrong forum, but I just need some help and I cant seem to find a relevent thread, I was thinking of posting in the relationship forum, but I have friends who visit there and this is a sensitive issue which I dont want them to read about.

So basically my problem is this.... my boyfriend has recently entered a treatment facility for cocaine, alchol and gambling addictions ( he doesnt do things by halves !) and I find I have so many issues getting me head around what is going on, I attend family group sessions in the facility, and last week I went to my first Al-Anon meeting, but I was wondering if someone might know of an online forum where I could go to try and get more clarification, I have tried looking online but I seem to be only able to find chat rooms that do online al-anon meetings at specific times. Issues are arising since he has been in there and I dont know who to turn to to get advise.

Again, sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, any help would be greatly appreciated!

Wat sort of issues have arisen and we might be able to direct you better?

My magic umbrella

Hi, thanks for reading. Basically, he has been in treatment for 4 weeks, and is due home next week. Before he went in I sat down with him and asked him to tell me honestly if he owed money to anyone, as I was nervous being in the house on my own if someone was to come knocking on the door looking for money, he swore blind that he owed nothing. He has had a massive issue with lying, a symtom of the addiction I suppose. Anyway, it turns out now that before he left for treatment €1300 (money due to him for rent, which he gets monthly) which was due to go to a family member to pay debts, disapeared... to pay off other debts to whom I dont know? He was allowed out over the weekend, and I have just found out that a friend of his lent him another €500 on Friday, to pay off a dealer.

Now I know he was not drinking or doing drugs over the weekend, as I was with him nearly all the time, but my main issues are these 1) I had high hopes of this treatment being a step in the right direction, a new start, in fact it seems that the lying is set to continue.
2) Do I contact the treatment centre to tell them this? Likewise his family?
3) I dont have the time to tell you the manipulation, lies and deciet I have had to endure over the llast few months, here I am supporting him and trying my best to focus n the future, and after alll the has happened over the last few weeks, he sat and looked me in the eye and swore that I was safe in our house while he was away, when it actually seems that he did in fact owe money.... has he no regard for my safety?

Dka e80

Its a tricky situation but you have to think
about ur own safety first, you should contact the treatment centre and explain situation they might be best able to offer advise

Sunnyisland

My magic umbrella wrote: »

First of all, as you can see this is my first post, although I have been a long time lurker on boards.... Secondly, apologies if I am in the wrong forum, but I just need some help and I cant seem to find a relevant thread, I was thinking of posting in the relationship forum, but I have friends who visit there and this is a sensitive issue which I don't want them to read about.

So basically my problem is this.... my boyfriend has recently entered a treatment facility for cocaine, alcohol and gambling addictions ( he doesn't do things by halves !) and I find I have so many issues getting me head around what is going on, I attend family group sessions in the facility, and last week I went to my first Al-Anon meeting, but I was wondering if someone might know of an online forum where I could go to try and get more clarification, I have tried looking online but I seem to be only able to find chat rooms that do online al-anon meetings at specific times. Issues are arising since he has been in there and I don't know who to turn to to get advise.

Again, sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, any help would be greatly appreciated!

Hi My magic umbrella you could try this website it seems to be very helpfull, Its called Bottled-up

Is someone else's drinking causing you problems? Are you fed up with the constant broken promises and disappointments? Are you feeling isolated and alone, ashamed to talk about what is happening in your life. Do you dread parties, celebrations and evenings with friends and family? Have you stopped asking people to your home? Do you feel as if you are going mad when he says he has not been drinking, even though you can definitely smell booze! Do you find yourself searching the house, car, garage, garden for bottles. Do you feel that her drinking now rules your life?

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=bottled%20up&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCAQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fbottled-up.memberlodge.com%2F&ei=wsBPUIOlBsaWhQfljYGgDQ&usg=AFQjCNGm9fPlO2p_3vsb_Sr2bi7P3gPt1g

My magic umbrella

Hi all,
thanks you so much for your replies. I had a quick look at that website, and will have a good look at it over the weekend, thanks for the suggestion.