Hitting and Biting

Holyjebus

Hi all,

Just looking for a bit of advice on how to deal with a tricky situation.
My sister's little boy is almost 2 and my own little boy is almost 3.
Her little boy has started to hit, bite and throw things at everyone and he's basically just gotten really naughty - screams if he doesn't get his own way, breaks things in other peoples houses.
My little boy is so quite and a really sensitive little thing who wouldn't hurt a fly and he's basically being beaten up by his cousin anytime they are together! Everyone keeps telling him to hit back but he's not like that and to be honest, I don't want to encourage him to be hitting. Two wrongs don't make a right etc.
So I'm just wondering how best to deal with the situation? We're avoiding the little boy as much as we can by not calling to my sister as much but it's pretty hard when I'm over in my mums most days and they arrive in too.
My sister, in fairness, is at her wits end and doesn't really know how to deal with him. She just shouts and slaps him to no avail.
I'm fed up with my poor little boy being bruised. He got bitten on the face the other day and his Dad is fuming, as am I of course but I just don't know what to do?

mitosis

Holyjebus wrote: »

Hi all,

Just looking for a bit of advice on how to deal with a tricky situation.
My sister's little boy is almost 2 and my own little boy is almost 3.
Her little boy has started to hit, bite and throw things at everyone and he's basically just gotten really naughty - screams if he doesn't get his own way, breaks things in other peoples houses.
My little boy is so quite and a really sensitive little thing who wouldn't hurt a fly and he's basically being beaten up by his cousin anytime they are together! Everyone keeps telling him to hit back but he's not like that and to be honest, I don't want to encourage him to be hitting. Two wrongs don't make a right etc.
So I'm just wondering how best to deal with the situation? We're avoiding the little boy as much as we can by not calling to my sister as much but it's pretty hard when I'm over in my mums most days and they arrive in too.
My sister, in fairness, is at her wits end and doesn't really know how to deal with him. She just shouts and slaps him to no avail.
I'm fed up with my poor little boy being bruised. He got bitten on the face the other day and his Dad is fuming, as am I of course but I just don't know what to do?

There's the root of the problem. Teaching the child this is appropriate. In your position I'd just avoid being in the company of the child until things improve.

edellc

I have to agree with above, if your sister is hitting and shouting at her child then she is teaching that this is acceptable behaviour, therefore he is using this learned method when he doesn't get what he wants. We all know that 2yr olds are not good a sharing nor are some good at expressing themselves thus getting frustrated and in some cases lashing out.

I too have a 2yr old however he was getting slapped and kicked away by his 7yr old cousin and when I broached the subject with my sister she basically told me I was lying and my son must have been irritating her child as he was sick....he seems to always be sick then. If your sister is unlike mine and you can have a grown up rational conversation with her about this behaviour then do, if she cant have the grown up conversation then the only option you have is to avoid her and her child. So if that means that you head over to your mams early in the morning and when the sister arrives later then you pack your things and leave or leave going over to your mams until later in the day when sister may be gone home, its not ideal but your child and his safety has to come first.

Be prepared if questioned about avoiding them of the backlash, I really think that parents that use their hands on a child tend to have short tempers and tend to not like others saying they are in the wrong even when they are.

Holyjebus

Thanks guys,
I think she would be understanding as she hates when it happens to my little boy too. She has another child of 10 who is completely different to his brother. Really sweet and quite too.
I will have to avoid and let her know why too