Ami being high maintainence?

LegacyUser

My boyfriend of five months and I seldom talk on phones. We meet up once a week. I asked a few times why he did not call me in the middle of the week. He said he does not know what time is the best to call me. He said he is thinking of me always. He said he would call me then. But then he did not do what he said. I sometimes would call or text. But I wish him to initiate some contacts in between our dates himself too. Friday night I voiced out again the issue. And I told him I felt we did not have the passion. We could not meet this weekend as we both had appointment with others. He said he would call me Saturday. But he did not. And tonight it's me who text him to say goodnight first. And he replied me a long message. Yet, I still feel I am not desired and wanted by him. Am I too high-maintenance?

Stavro Mueller

First thought came into my head was why don't you pick up the phone and call him? It could be the wording of course but you sound like you're waiting around for him to call. Do you text much? Who does most of the initiating of that?

The second thought was that he probably isn't really into you. You're going out 5 months and you don't think you don't have the passion. Perhaps one or both of you don't feel like you've connected. Everyone's definition of a relationship is different but if you're only meeting up once a week, I would be wondering if it's going anywhere.

On the other hand maybe he's not comfortable making telephone calls. You'd be surprised at how many people, especially the ones who've grown up in the era of text messaging, dread picking up the phone to call.

You know better than me how the pair of you get on. Is it worth chasing or is it time to draw a line under it.

ElleEm

I agree with Cymbaline.
He is your "boyfriend" yet you only see/ speak to him once a week! It definitely seems strange to me.

I really feel for you though, as you are doing the right thing, raising the issue with him but the fact that he is not following up on that makes me wonder if he is all that interested in a relationship.

Priori

Yep, contact once a week in a relationship of 5 months definitely suggests something is missing. I don't think you're being high-maintenance; I think you're just looking for something more serious.

Ellsbells

Do ye sleep together on the night ye meet or is it just a date scenario?

How can ye get to know each other...???

LegacyUser

No, we did not sleep together at the start. It's after two months we dated that we got intimated.

Tonight, I texted him and asked him to call me when he was free. He called immediately but he needed to rush for the soccer so we did not chat much. He said he would call me tomorrow.

I decided to back off a bit now and I am not going to contact him anymore. I will wait and see whether he would call me as he said.

But other than the contact thing, we get on well. We rarely have fights, it's usually me who get a bit annoyed with our different opinions over some little issues. We went on holiday trips and although we had little fights, we were having good time. He is very good to me and very patient. He is also super kind and very caring. He bought me little presents and flowers. It's just this contact thing that's bugging me a bit. I feel our lives are not really connected as a five-month couple should be. I am sure he is serious about relationship but I am not sure now whether I am really the person he wants to put effort in. He did explain though that recently he is very busy (and I know it's true as I work in the same field as him). Also, he mentioned we had been single for long and we both need time to get used to have someone else in our lives now.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, can I ask why you only see each other once a week? Do you live far away from each other? Are you both really that busy that you cannot meet up more often than that?

I know you have said that he mentioned because you were both single that you need time to get used to having someone in your lives, but honestly.. I think 5 months is plenty time!

Are you happy with the amount of time you spend together, and just not happy about his lack of contact in between that? Or would you like to be able to see him more often, and maybe move the relationship on a bit?

It all comes down to whether or not you are happy - and if you are not, whether or not your bf is willing to listen to your concerns and try work towards resolving them.