Dealing with ongoing snide/teenage homophobic remarks on the street

keepkeyyellow

I'm sure everyone's dealt with this at some stage or another but how does one deal with it? Yeah I've had ****** or queer shouted at me on the street but it's usually met with a look of confusion from me as I try to decipher what they're saying through my headphones, god forbid someone ever shouts fire or help to me...

But basically a new family moved 2 doors down a few months and the son is 'sound' but his friends who he attracts do my head in, all 16-18 and shout out the usual gay sounding 'heey' in unison and I'll be honest my lack of action is annoying me more than what they're doing. I also have another year left at home and do I really want to be dreading the walk up to mine for the sake of some spotty teenager?

Any advice as to what to say or do?

frozenfrozen

tell them their fathers all have small penises. not only will you be telling them that they all -too- have small penises, but you're implying that you've had sex with all of their fathers

keepkeyyellow

frozenfrozen wrote: »

tell them their fathers all have small penises. not only will you be telling them that they all -too- have small penises, but you're implying that you've had sex with all of their fathers

Saying something graphic is high on my list of possibilities

mitosis

Ignore the ignorant

wonderfulname

On a good day, I'd do it right back at them, hand gesture and swagger included, on a bad day I'd probably insult them in some manner, doing nothing is better than doing that, you're only giving them the reaction they wish to provoke, I get nagged relentlessly by a bunch of kids now because one of them caught me on a bad day (by hitting me with some form of ornamental grass and calling me a quare) and I turned around and asked "how the fck were you raised that you think it's okay to address a stranger like that in the street?", not a good idea, they're now far too amused by me, we chat frequently, generally about whether I'm a by or a garl...

Who knows, maybe milling around me like curious puppies will make them more accommodating to others in future, but it's really not worth the headwreck of them trying to push my buttons again.

You could mention to the father that his kid has people round who like to harass the neighbours?

DazMarz

Ignore the fúckers. It's their problem, not yours. Don't piss on a bee's nest and react, as that could make things worse (propery vandalised, physical confrontation, etc.)

Just as an aside, teenagers usually shout "gay" or "fag" at people as a generic insult. Is there any chance that it is just generic and they don't know that you're gay? Or are you sure that they know somehow?

baztard

Its hard one to know what to do without knowing way more about the situation.

If your confident enough, I'd walk up to them and tell them to fuk off. Stand up to them like, and make it clear that you won't back down.

Thats not gonna work for everyone or every situation though. If you don't do that, I'd say just totally ignore them.

Getting involved in tit for tat comments where they don't really fear or respect you is just gonna fuel their motivation to keep on trying to take the piss out of you.

jaydoxx

Its hard to say whats the best course of action. Back in school I just punched one of the asshats and nothing was ever said against me except really under their breath which i was fina with cos they were clearly cowards.

In public though, I just ignore it. I used to get called queer or something along those lines about 3 times in the 10 minute journey into my local town. Now it's once in a blue moon, I now get called beardy etc xD

They're just stupid ignorant bored ****ers and I don't even think many of them really give a crap if you're gay. They just see someone different and their mind finds it hard to understand someone who is living their life instead of being uneducated anti-social wasters doing nothing but hanging around smoking cigarettes and being a drain on society.

I wouldn't give them the pleasure of a response, they only want you stooping to their level so they can feel hardy with their 10 friends by their side. Be the bigger man.

keepkeyyellow

Oh I don't know it's nice to acknowledge that it happens though.

1ZRed

I agree with Baztard on this. Depends on what type of person you are but you can go two routes, either ignore them or takle it.

The way I see it, you can have a lot of fun fucking with their heads. Be confident and very sure of yourself with what you say. Comment on why a pack of teenagers would rather hang around in a circle jerk eyeing up the gay lads instead of being out trying nail away their V cards with someone that wasn't their best mate.

I dunno OP, an easy one would be to single out the loudest main lad and tell him his Dad sucks cock like a bitch, but at least he tries and gives it his all. Turn to close fuckwit friend and ask, are the skills being kept in family, or is Dad beating him out in more ways than one?

Gobshites like this are the easiest to tear down if you say it all with confidence and a condescending intimidating smile. Having a quick wit right there and then is pretty crucial.

Afterwards you can make your stance known and tell the pack of closet cocksuckers to go fuck themselves, or failing that, go back to fucking each other. A lot of them should already be broken in anyway.

Play up the homophobe strongly and really isolate some of them with it, singling out some is always the best kick to the confidence. In return, call them faggots, queers along with any harsh and creative insult inorder to play it back and fuck with them more. What harm? You already know you're gay and if you're just another feckin homophobe, wtf can they do?
You you are what you are so it's hardly insulting, and if you wear it like armour, they've got nothing else on you or any new angle.

Ultimately, make them fear you and make them be intimidated by you.

whattotdo

OP,it's a tough one to call-some will tell you 'to fight fire with fire',others will tell you to ignore it.One occasion I was walking down a busy street with my then partner,hand in hand,I received homophobic abuse.I told the abusers to grow up etc but got more abuse in return.
I was at the fleadh in Cavan recently with three friends,all gay men.Two of them are a couple and they started kissing as they did a fella broke away from his group of mates and starting abusing my friends,he was very drunk so we decided there was no point in responding to him for fear he could physically attack us.Thankfully,his friends who unlike him aren't bigoted apologised and moved him away.
You could tell them teenagers to grow up and they might never bother you again,on the other hand they could abuse you more..it all depends on the people involved.Personally,I always speak back unless person(s) are drunk,on drugs etc Safety first!

Shakti

If you react to them they will almost certainly escalate the harassment, can you tell your parents? will they help?

Buster Keaton

I'd pretty much box them up. Don't attempt if you don't have the skills, but by all means engage if you do....

JH_raheny

ask why there is no girls in their group

wonderfulname

Buster Keaton wrote: »

I'd pretty much box them up. Don't attempt if you don't have the skills, but by all means engage if you do....

Don't physically assault teenagers for Christ sake...

Sir Pompous Righteousness

frozenfrozen wrote: »

tell them their fathers all have small penises. not only will you be telling them that they all -too- have small penises, but you're implying that you've had sex with all of their fathers

Your Da ...

keepkeyyellow

Shakti wrote: »

If you react to them they will almost certainly escalate the harassment, can you tell your parents? will they help?

I'm 22 like I should be able to sort it myself

I'm just going to play it by ear anyway, in two weeks time I'll be travelling at odd hours for college so I doubt it'll be an issue but I really appreciate listening to everyone's experiences. This has been a burning issue of mine for quite a while and not even with these particular people so just getting it out in the open is great.

cgcsb

knock on the door and speak to his parents about it.

Shakti

keepkeyyellow wrote: »

I'm 22 like I should be able to sort it myself

At 22 I understand it might be a bit lame to ask your folks/siblings for help but it would be reassuring to know that you had someone to give you some support and least know what your putting up with.

periodictable

"you got a crush on me?"
or
"hi, you're the guy that gave me head last night"

Caiseoipe19

Shakti wrote: »

At 22 I understand it might be a bit lame to ask your folks/siblings for help but it would be reassuring to know that you had someone to give you some support and least know what your putting up with.

I see where the OP is coming from. If my parents or siblings knew that I was getting hassle I'd be embarrassed which would just make the whole thing worse. All that could probably happen is that they'd give me pity which is something I don't want. Now maybe that's just my own personality of not liking to seem weak or something, but I'd say it's a common feeling.

Op, I honestly don't know how you can solve your problem. I put up with general verbal bullying for a few years in secondary school by just keeping quiet and not retaliating. It was hell and I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I didn't stand up for myself. BUT, my situation was different. It was one lad that was causing me hassle and I wouldn't have had a gang of lads on top of me had I taken action. You could very easily though so I would obviously not go down that route. Sorry I'm no use to you.

stephen_n

The best way to deal with a bully is to ignore them, it will freak them out, so just smile, say lovely day or any other banal greeting and walk on, as if what they say means nothing! Just be polite and normal as if you were talking to someone being nice to you and it will confuse the hell out of them!

christmas2012

best thing to do is ignore them,soon they have a lesson in life they have yet to learn,dont give them fuel,and dont get in a fight about it..Thats what they are looking for..