messy situation

edwardpierce · 09-09-2012 7:20pm #1

Hi

I am married to a foreign national but we split up 3 months after our daughter was born and she is living in the family home which is in my name. I would love to get divorced etc but I am worried that she will want to return home I dont know were i would stand on this issue to fight for custody. She is on the lone parents and couldn be arsed working . My daughter has an irish passport but I have just found out she has one from her country (eastern europe) which she got without my permission . Thats all for the moment I have loads of other things I need advice on and will post later. does anyone know much about this or in a similar situation?

regards,

edward

sffc · 09-09-2012 7:32pm

edwardpierce wrote: »

Hi

I am married to a foreign national but we split up 3 months after our daughter was born and she is living in the family home which is in my name. I would love to get divorced etc but I am worried that she will want to return home I dont know were i would stand on this issue to fight for custody. She is on the lone parents and couldn be arsed working . My daughter has an irish passport but I have just found out she has one from her country (eastern europe) which she got without my permission . Thats all for the moment I have loads of other things I need advice on and will post later. does anyone know much about this or in a similar situation?

regards,

edward

I could "discuss " this with you for ages but the truth is you need proper legal advice from a solicitor and FAST. That can't be dispensed here . Best of luck though sounds tricky.

edwardpierce · 09-09-2012 7:36pm

i know but the solicitors dont come cheap and i have mortgage issues to try and sort out as i was not working for a while and even though she has money she wont pay towards it

sffc · 09-09-2012 7:44pm

edwardpierce wrote: »

i know but the solicitors dont come cheap and i have mortgage issues to try and sort out as i was not working for a while and even though she has money she wont pay towards it

Many solicitors offer first consultation free. You can go to the citizens information centre too. They have free legal nights. My wife at one stage was paying her solicitor per visit. It was 100euro per visit which really isn't much compared to what's at stake here.

edwardpierce · 09-09-2012 7:55pm

i will arrange a consultation soon but i owuld love to be fully equipped with as much info going to see them also so i am asking the correct questions

Ken. · 09-09-2012 8:50pm

Look in the useful links section of this forum. Second from top. Some good stuff in there to get you started.

aujopimur · 09-09-2012 10:38pm

If you can't afford a solicitor, you may be entiteled to full or part legal aid, apply to your local Law Centre.

Taltos · 10-09-2012 6:27am

OP -

<Mod note> - as pointed out above we cannot allow legal advice here. Please collect as much information as you can and use one of the resources on our Useful Links thread.

My first step if I were you would be to get legal advice immediately and to get a court order if possible for either sole custody or an order barring travel beyond state borders. Not sure if the courts can also order that any and all passports with your childs name be handed in - that is where the legal advice really comes in...

Best of luck.

Abi · 10-09-2012 7:03pm

edwardpierce wrote: »

i will arrange a consultation soon but i owuld love to be fully equipped with as much info going to see them also so i am asking the correct questions

If the initial consultation fee is putting you off seeking advice, then go to citizens advice. They normally will have a solicitor that comes by once or twice a month (or depending on your area), who will offer you advice free of charge. I must add though, it would be good to come armed with all of the info you can, regarding your income, property, the details regarding your child etc.

I don't know about her home country, but in Ireland you cannot obtain a passport for a child without the other parents signature, unless you sign an affidavit to say that they don't know where their ex is or some solid reason as to why they cannot be present to sign. I don't want to speculate, but I think you should ask your solicitor about this when you meet him / her.

You may also be entitled to legal aid, so do look into this. If you're entitled to it, I suggest you get all over this sooner rather than later, as there is quite a back log on these lists.

edwardpierce · 12-09-2012 8:59pm

thanks for all comments everyone I have arranged legal advice to see where i stand so i hope it all goes well... and if there is anyone in a similar situationn please feel free to pm me all help welcome

Abi · 13-09-2012 1:14am

edwardpierce wrote: »

thanks for all comments everyone I have arranged legal advice to see where i stand so i hope it all goes well... and if there is anyone in a similar situationn please feel free to pm me all help welcome

Glad to hear your getting a start on it. Just come armed with everything you have, and you'll get the most accurate advice. Best lid luck to you.

Taltos · 13-09-2012 7:54am

OP - sorry to be a killjoy but we ask posters here not to offer PM contact - this is as much to protect you as it is to protect others.

Cheers.
Taltos

Equality · 15-10-2012 7:01pm

If the child's mother is on lone parents, as you suspect, this is to your advantage, as this money is only payable if the child is in Ireland. It may make the mother reluctant to leave Ireland.

If you are concerned about the child being removed from the country, contact the school and request that you be informed if the child by 10.30am, in the event that the child is absent from school. Also make sure to contact the school and ask for school reports to be sent to you as well as the mum, also make sure that you go to the parent teacher meetings and school events. All of these contribute to your link with your child, and are evidence that you are an involved parent - this makes it more difficult for the mum to get permission to take the child out of Ireland.

sffc · 15-10-2012 7:17pm

Equality wrote: »

If the child's mother is on lone parents, as you suspect, this is to your advantage, as this money is only payable if the child is in Ireland. It may make the mother reluctant to leave Ireland.

If you are concerned about the child being removed from the country, contact the school and request that you be informed if the child by 10.30am, in the event that the child is absent from school. Also make sure to contact the school and ask for school reports to be sent to you as well as the mum, also make sure that you go to the parent teacher meetings and school events. All of these contribute to your link with your child, and are evidence that you are an involved parent - this makes it more difficult for the mum to get permission to take the child out of Ireland.

Not sure about the 10.30 am business but the school may well refuse to issue two reports and unfortunately are within their rights to so

Equality · 07-11-2012 3:35pm

A parent went to law to get the school reports. It was a father, the mother had custody and was unwilling to share the reports. The court ruled that the father was entitled to the school reports. There is no link to this that I know of, but a solicitor told me about the case.

It is the same with being notified if the child is absent from school. The child might have been dropped to school by either parent, and wandered off (or mitched), so both parents, if they request it, will be texted to say that the child did not turn up at school. It is a great way to prevent mitching.

desbrook · 07-11-2012 3:41pm

Equality wrote: »

A parent went to law to get the school reports. It was a father, the mother had custody and was unwilling to share the reports. The court ruled that the father was entitled to the school reports. There is no link to this that I know of, but a solicitor told me about the case.

It is the same with being notified if the child is absent from school. The child might have been dropped to school by either parent, and wandered off (or mitched), so both parents, if they request it, will be texted to say that the child did not turn up at school. It is a great way to prevent mitching.

The wife may well have been compelled to share the reports . My point to the OP was the school was under no obligation to pass reports to both parents .

Equality · 08-11-2012 2:47pm

I think the parent can look for the school reports (and everything that the school has in writing concerning their child) under FOI and Data Protection laws. So long as the child is under 18 years, the school is obliged to deal with either or both parents. They can ask for this every time a school report is issued, if they want to do so.

The fact that the other parent got the school report already is not cause to deny it to the second parent, in my view.

Some parents look for school attendance records (or late attendance records) if they want custody, as part of their case may be that the child is not going to school regularly or is late on a regular basis.

I'm curious to know why you think that the school might refuse access to school reports (which are usually very boring anyway) to either parent? Do you know someone who has experienced this?

messy situation

Comments