Opening a tin of worms for myself

LegacyUser

Ive always picked up on things very easily. Im definitely not clarvoiant or anything of the sort - I dont want to be. I just seem to pick up vibes/thoughts come to my head. Most of the time I try avoid these, because most of the time I cant open my mouth, as knowing too much sometimes is worse than knowing too little.

Sometimes I get urges - like I cant describe, to talk to a person about something. Like Im supposed to or something. I dont know. The things I could tell you.

Anyways to my story - Im not sure how to handle all the information Im after being given. This is a downside. Im going to keep it a vague as possible.

Basically, it turns out that a woman I know has been having a sort of "relationship" with someone who she shouldnt be in a relationship with. Nothing they said or done made me think this. In fact, Ive only seen them together maybe 2/3 times, and it would all be perceived as "normal". But I start getting these feelings about it all - stuff I didnt want to know. Today, she was upset about something - could have been about anything - I dont even know this woman very well, and I felt compelled to specifically ask if it was about him, and she was stunned. Panicked a little. And then verfied what I knew. I tried to explain how/why I knew ("knew" is not the right word, as sometimes I "know" things, but as I usually keep my mouth shut, I never get to verify them-they are like peoples secrets - I seem to have to keep them all. On all the occasions I have come out or had to say something, Ive been right. Its like helping people to make a decision or something).

She came clean anyways, and its like information over load for me. I tried to advise her as best I could (like I felt I was supposed to), but she wouldnt really listen. Maybe in time. But it has left me reeling, and is really troubling me...a) I was right again/felt compelled to do something (I dont like these feelings), b) I know a massive secret about 2 people, and by me knowing, Im somehow worried that it might all turn on me. I dont think he knows that I know. I have (I still do) very high respect for the man. We all make mistakes. My problem isnt what they are doing so to speak. Its just that now Im involved. And I didnt even want to.

Am going to keep quiet and say nothing at all to anyone. I would never betray someones confidence, but I feel awful. Why do I have to know these things/get involved. Im the quietest person you could meet. I dont deserve to bare the load of other people's problems.

How do I get rid of this?

Sorry if this thread is unusual for this forum, but I dont know where else to post it.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, There is a Psychics & Mediums Forum that might better suit your post. I can move your thread to there, but it doesn't allow for anonymous posting.

I will leave your thread here for now if you are happy with that, and I would remind posters to keep all replies civil and on topic.

Regards,
Big Bag of Chips

Goat the dote

I'm just nosy and want to know why they shouldn't be involved??!!
I do sometimes pick up in things like that (I wouldn't consider myself psychic or anything but I'm usually just ok at reading people)
I think for me to decide from the post if you did the right thing really depends on the circumstances-if it's an affair then how close are you to the husband or wife of the cheater? If you decide to say something to them you need to be prepared for a "shoot the messenger" outcome.

LegacyUser

Firstly, I wouldn't begin thinking you have some kind of sixth sense or gift just yet. I used to think the same about myself but realised I just have an innate ability to detect people's true feelings by reading body language and by getting a sense of how they're mind 'works'. Like you, I'm quiet, I listen and I'm quite perceptive and analytical and I usually hit things on the head where people's feelings are concerned.

In this case, I think you should just keep your head down and stay out of it. Other people's misbehaviour is of no interest to you if you aren't directly involved.

snafuk35

tinofwormsss wrote: »

Ive always picked up on things very easily. Im definitely not clarvoiant or anything of the sort - I dont want to be. I just seem to pick up vibes/thoughts come to my head. Most of the time I try avoid these, because most of the time I cant open my mouth, as knowing too much sometimes is worse than knowing too little.

Sometimes I get urges - like I cant describe, to talk to a person about something. Like Im supposed to or something. I dont know. The things I could tell you.

Anyways to my story - Im not sure how to handle all the information Im after being given. This is a downside. Im going to keep it a vague as possible.

Basically, it turns out that a woman I know has been having a sort of "relationship" with someone who she shouldnt be in a relationship with. Nothing they said or done made me think this. In fact, Ive only seen them together maybe 2/3 times, and it would all be perceived as "normal". But I start getting these feelings about it all - stuff I didnt want to know. Today, she was upset about something - could have been about anything - I dont even know this woman very well, and I felt compelled to specifically ask if it was about him, and she was stunned. Panicked a little. And then verfied what I knew. I tried to explain how/why I knew ("knew" is not the right word, as sometimes I "know" things, but as I usually keep my mouth shut, I never get to verify them-they are like peoples secrets - I seem to have to keep them all. On all the occasions I have come out or had to say something, Ive been right. Its like helping people to make a decision or something).

She came clean anyways, and its like information over load for me. I tried to advise her as best I could (like I felt I was supposed to), but she wouldnt really listen. Maybe in time. But it has left me reeling, and is really troubling me...a) I was right again/felt compelled to do something (I dont like these feelings), b) I know a massive secret about 2 people, and by me knowing, Im somehow worried that it might all turn on me. I dont think he knows that I know. I have (I still do) very high respect for the man. We all make mistakes. My problem isnt what they are doing so to speak. Its just that now Im involved. And I didnt even want to.

Am going to keep quiet and say nothing at all to anyone. I would never betray someones confidence, but I feel awful. Why do I have to know these things/get involved. Im the quietest person you could meet. I dont deserve to bare the load of other people's problems.

How do I get rid of this?

Sorry if this thread is unusual for this forum, but I dont know where else to post it.

We can all pick up on what is going between people if we watch carefully.
It's none of your business when all is said and done.
They are adults and if they are involved in a relationship they shouldn't be it doesn't really involve you.
You are not doing anything wrong by keeping it to yourself.

LegacyUser

I know we'd all like to think of ourselves as gifted when it comes to understanding others, that we somehow are capable of a level of empathy and intuition we don't see in the world around us, that our instincts are rarely wrong when it comes to matters of the heart and by sharing these gifts we might be able to help people and do some good in peoples lives.

Unfortunately these kinds of thoughts don't really add up to much except an inflated ego. I don't mean to offend anyone who thinks of themselves this way but there have been many studies done indicating that that type of 'System 1' intuitive thinking (See: Thinking, Fast and Slow; Kahneman) is never as accurate in reading a situation as using the facts and coming to a rational conclusion.

I'm not going to try and give you advice on your situation because with something like that the solution is usually heavily biased on the personalities of the people involved but nine times out of ten you're probably better off letting it play out without getting involved and being there for your friend if it all falls to pieces.

B

LegacyUser

Id like to leave the thread here please. But I will check out that forum.

I was trying to explain myself-background, but really its about what do I do knowing all this, again. I felt explosive and needed to vent. You cant do right for doing wrong. Doesnt matter how I found out. Am worried Ill get caught in the middle (and have to explain myself).

To some of the posters who doubt me, thats fine. Am not here to debate that with you. I cant prove it here, nor do I choose who this happens with.

Thanks for the advice.

Kimia

You said you felt 'compelled' to ask her about her relationship with this man, and now feel bad because she unloaded on you. Next time, don't ask, if you don't want to know.

bakergirl91

Hi OP! i think this is a case of you taking in information without even realising it. i do this myself as well particularly i will get those kind of feelings and feel it takes over my mind. we as humans tend to respond to body language which is what you may have been sub consciously reading! And as well as that getting vibes from people could be another thing, i think we all do really! its like when you get a bad feeling about someone and you have no way of explaining how you feel or backing up you opinion, your just simply not gone on the person! what i say is dont worry about the thoughts and you would be surprised how many people have found themselves in the situation you have found yourself ! best of luck and hope i helped somehow!