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Dumped but not Upset

  • 09-09-2012 4:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Last week, my girlfriend of about 6 months broke up with me out of the blue. Said she could imagine spending the rest of her life with me, and didn't want to lead me on.

    I should be devestated. I think she was one of the most amazing, most wonderful people I've ever met. Though we weren't going out that long, I thought we really had a connection, to a point which I never felt with anyone else. Even girls I went out with for years. I could imagine us spending the rest of our life together, and I thought she felt the same.

    So naturally, to hear how she felt was a complete shock, but my reaction the last few days has surprised me.

    I was upset initially, but more in a generally feeling sad way than an emotionally shattered, life torn apart way.

    Since then, my mood has been generally quite positive. I've been meeting up with friends, going out, chatting up girls, as if I'm completely over it already.

    The odd time, something's reminded me of her, which gave me fleeting feelings of regret, but other than that I've been fine. I thought it might take a few days to hit me, but it hasn't yet, which has surprised me.

    I've generally been the one breaking up in the past, and in many of those cases, even though I've been the one carrying out the breaking up, I've felt worse than I have in this relationship.

    I worry that I might be surpressing my emotions or something. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it strange to get over somebody who meant that much to you?

    When we were going out, the thought of us ever breaking up, filled me with dread, and I imagined I'd be an emotional wreck. But instead I feel like this. Don't get me wrong I'd love to get back with her, and do miss her, but I feel about her, much the same way as I feel about other exes, who I've broken up with a long time ago.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Perhaps deep down you always knew the relationship wasn't going to last?


    Or maybe she's just been so honest about her feelings with you it's given you a kind of closure, the breakup was not a result of anything either of you did wrong, it's just 'one of those things', I guess there's a kind of peace in that knowledge. Personally for me I've always gotten over the the end of such relationships much more easily than ones where you're left with all the what if's and wondering where you went wrong.

    I wouldn't question it too much OP, at least now you know what a good relationship feels like, you finally know you're looking for in a sense, there's power in that I suppose. A positive, empowering feeling which could explain why you've gotten over the relationship so fast.

    All the best OP


  • #3
    Lorna123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,116 ✭✭✭Lorna123


    I just think that you have a healthy respect for yourself and you know deep down that just because it is not going to work out with this girl it doesn't mean that you are at fault in any way or any less attractive and because you have this inner confidence you are not pushed over the edge on account of this. Fair play to you and I admire your confidence. It is so refreshing to read a post like this.


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