To be or not to be (in love with her). Should I go for it?

HonorRoller

Well after being friendzoned a month ago by this girl because it turns out that she has a boyfriend when I told her how I feel, last night I think she gave a signal that she likes me all along. It's a long story but anyways last night she texted me asking some advice as she is confused (I'm her counselor so to speak as we are good friends before I fell in love with her) about her boyfriend not texting for the past 4 days and last night she said that he finally did. Later on she texted me back with a greater satisfaction saying this:

'Well dude I can't like him seriously it's not a nice situation to be in. Lucky you! I'm happy now cos I made up my mind.'

Although I have a vague guess, I asked her what she meant by this and she said 'it's a surprise'. Although it's a wishful thinking, my guess that she likes me because of the 'lucky you'. But I annoyed her for a few minutes to confirm my guess though she replied in her last text:

'Just planning I have a jist not sure though once I'm set and done will let you know. Trust me I'll be fine and if I fall and get hurt i will have your shoulder. Ouch for you! Don't worry relax meanwhile hopefully everything will work out and we're all happy.'

Sorry if you can't understand some parts of her text message. She texts in a ghetto way lol. Anyhow my problems are:

1. She claims she doesn't believe in love. I can see that because she told me that her mom is a single parent and she doesn't want to talk about her father. So, with her attitude about relationships, she is kind of a play girl and doesn't want to get serious. Although, I told her why not fall in love and if you get heartbroken it's part of the learning process. With the last text message it appears that she is ready to fall in love.

2. I don't know if I want to get serious myself IF she did actually likes me back. We're both 19 and in college. It's not like we are destined to be forever together and we have a future ahead of us so being in a relationship at a young age should be kind of a play thing for both partners. My mom's advice and I always remember that .

3. I'm sort of over her since she friendzoned me. Though part of me is still in love with her.

4. Well apparently she gets bored easily -_-. I've never actually been in love like this to a girl before. I did like girls but hers is different. I have never felt such rush to a girl until I have fallen for her.

5. I have never been in a relationship before and I'm afraid that she might break my heart if we become together considering she gets 'bored easily'. I'm afraid of that happening because I think I'm still in love with her.

Sorry for the long winded post but I need advice whether we should just stay good friends or I should go for it. As far as I can tell she indicated that she wants to fall in love for real but I don't know. She is a really nice girl but her attitude to relationships is making me nervous and added the fact that more or less I'm in love with her. Part of me is saying 'To hell with it and experience life!' But I don't know I'm so confused -_-

girl2

To be honest with you - from what I can understand from your post - I think you should just remain friends with this girl. Apart from all the other factors you have cited......she's just out of a relationship and she needs time to take a breath or two before just jumping onto the next person. If that was you - you probably would end up getting hurt.

HonorRoller

girl2 wrote: »

To be honest with you - from what I can understand from your post - I think you should just remain friends with this girl. Apart from all the other factors you have cited......she's just out of a relationship and she needs time to take a breath or two before just jumping onto the next person. If that was you - you probably would end up getting hurt.

Well I don't know. I didn't say this before but her boyfriend.....turns out to be a creepo. As I said she is kind of a play girl but for some weird reason she didn't freak out with his 'advances' and because as I said she is little bit of a playgirl just wanna have fun. Although she is aware that he is not exactly a good guy you know. In a way, her dumping her boyfriend deserves what he got from my point of view. Furthermore, before I fell for her, she already gave hints that she likes me but I didn't like her back. My feelings gradually developed overtime but that's a different whole and long story.

Though I agree, if we become together that'll make me a rebound and she just got out of relationship si I should give her more time. *sigh* I got an overeducated problem and don't know what to make of being a rebound.

EDIT: I think her ex just want her for sex because as I said he made advances to her even during the first date. She is smart but I think she is one of many girls who gets infatuated by initial lies of pervy men. According to her, on the 5th date he even gave hints that he wanted to do it on his dorm at the week before college.

Gooner111

Just slow down and wait! Don't do anything or think everything she says means something deep. Let her end things with her chap and if she comes onto you then sure go for it but go slow! Make sure you both actually like each other. Just because your young doesn't mean it won't work out and that you can't experience life while in a relationship. For now don't worry about anything and concentrate on yourself. Go out and have some fun!!

HonorRoller

Thank you very much Gooner111. That is the best advice I have gotten so far. Okay I will take things slow just to make sure

AnonoBoy

You're a fall back for her ego.

If it doesn't work with her boyfriend she knows that she can cushion the blow to her ego by having you around her admiring her.

You might end up together for a bit but these sort of things never go anywhere and in the end you're the one who will get hurt when she finds a new exciting guy that she can b*tch about to you when things go wrong again.

HonorRoller

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You're a fall back for her ego.

If it doesn't work with her boyfriend she knows that she can cushion the blow to her ego by having you around her admiring her.

You might end up together for a bit but these sort of things never go anywhere and in the end you're the one who will get hurt when she finds a new exciting guy that she can b*tch about to you when things go wrong again.

Hmmmm... very nice insight and thanks I'll keep it at the back of my mind. However, I will just adopt a wait and see posture and see if she is not the kind of girl I initially expected.