Being Bullied At Work :(

talullah

Not sure if this is the right place to post but here it goes....

Basically I (and others) am being bullied by two individuals at work. It's been going on ever since I was moved to the same area of work as these two, nearly two years ago.

They are constantly nit picking at things I do, belittling me, especially in front of customers. They run to the boss and tell lies, exaggerate the truth to get me in trouble, tell me i'm doing things wrong and when i change how i do things to suit them, they start complaining to the boss that i'm not doing things right, and if i continue to do things how i was doing them origionally they run to the boss aswel. They are so charming and nice to your face, but the minute you turn your back, they twist the knife in.

Others at work know exactly what they're like and I can not understand how the boss doesn't see it. Over the years, girls have left work because of these two women and if I didn't need my job so bad then I would have left already.

Last Christmas it all got too much and I was off work for a couple of weeks and diagnosed with depression. Right now, I feel exactly how I did just before my breakdown last year and don't know what to do.

I'm basically a wreck, am constantly holding back tears and cry on my way into work. I can't bare to deal with customers but have no choice. I just feel like giving up and ending it all. My boss is away until friday and right now i'm telling myself, I have to talk to him and tell him all but I'm shy and no good at this, he'll think i'm being stupid and should ''stand up for myself'' as he told another girl mum when she told him one of these women was bullying her daughter. the boss just doesn't seem to care so long as the work gets done.

Where do I stand in this situation, I mean if he doesn't sort it what can I do? At the moment mam wants me to ring my doctor and bring my October appointment forward to this week, i'm in such a bad way. Mam also went in the other day and asked one of the bullies if she new why I was upset during the week (in a kind non-accusational way) this bully then twisted it and told everyone she had come in accusing her which thankfully a colleague/friend promptly corrected.

I'm off Monday but will have to face these b*tches again on tuesday, I don't think I can do it. I'm a 25 year old woman and I shouldn't have to be going through this, never dealt with such immaturity in all my school years even.

I'm sorry this is quite a long post but I'm feeling so low right now and don't know what to do.

Insidein

Hey don't be sorry at all iv experienced work place bullying in two different areas first was by work colleagues then next time the boss really bad I was depressed tought I couldn't go on both times I got a transfer also I think you could do with some time off you really need a break and think it through do u really need to work there under that situation will things improve in work you need your Health you need a change you can do it just try to think about something else it can be really though at times just take a break trust me

edellc

OP these two sound like a piece of work and seriously need to crawl back under the rock they came from. I really hate bullies, having been subjected to this myself in the work place again by colleagues and then the boss which eventually lead to me leaving their pathetic asses behind as life is just too short for this kind of crap.

Firstly you make no mention of a HR department, if you have one I suggest you go to them first and make a complaint, secondly start if you havent already keeping a diary of what they are doing so if and when you do go to someone you have a written record of what is going on.

Secondly get your cv in order and start looking for something else immediately

Your health is your wealth and this is so very true, try get your appointment pushed forward to next week and if you need a week or so off then get a sick note and take it.

There are a lot of bosses who dont care what happens in work as long as the work gets done and in this economy this seems to be the case more and more, the left overs of the celtic tiger is the greedy streak which still runs in lots of people. You are going to have to gain the courage to speak to your boss and let him know this behaviour is unacceptable

Rachelmhr

Make a bully diary..

I started mine a year ago, write everything down. Record times and dates etc...

Get enough evidence and let karma do the rest! I'm not joking either!!

talullah

Thanks for the replies.

We don't have a HR department and I've mentioned it to one of the managers but he's not doing anything about it. He's a friend and knows exactly what these two have been doing but he's staying out of it. I might mention it to the other manager and see.

I'll start keeping a diary, was keeping a diary a few months ago not intentionally to keep record of the bullying but it has it all in there. I just can't get my head around how two grown women can intentionally make life hell for some of their colleagues, I've always been brought up to treat others how I'd like to be treated but obviously that's not how everyone sees life.

LegacyUser

I've been bullied in work so I know what it's like. I don't know if I had a breakdown but I got pretty close to one I should think. In the end I went to counselling which is something I never ever thought I would do.

Start a bullying diary this week so you'll have lots of evidence built up. Unfortunately you will have no choice but to go to someone over this eventually. What I found to my cost is that ignoring a bully just makes them braver and bolder Write everything down while it's fresh in your memory because these bullies will try to twist things and exploit any vagueness in your stories.

I agree with your mum. Go see a doctor asap because the stress of this is going to make you unwell again. I'd also start looking around for another job if it's possible or feasible.

Whatever you do, don't let these people destroy you. It's not worth it.

edellc

Most bullies have something missing in their lives and seem to have a stunted mentality, especially when there are two in it together they seem to push the boundaries of what is acceptable behaviour further and further.

Its easy to say rise above it when you are stuck in the middle of it, but this is what you must try do for now, keep hold of your dignity.

Another tool that I have used is to keep a sarcastic smile plastered on my face for them, a I'm glad I'm not your one, and when they try belittling you smack it on your face. Also learn to be sarcastic with your "really" (at the end of the lecture of how to do things you just reply with a sarcastic really) or if they are condescending in anyway way towards you tell them to "grow up". They know they are getting to you so this is why they persist.

Unfortunately this behaviour happens in lots of work places and you may experience it in other jobs or see it happening to others in other work environments, you cant change the bully but you can change how you deal with them and instead of being the victim you need to learn to stand up for yourself.

Maybe once you have gone to the doctor you can ask to be referred to a councillor who can give you proper tools to help deal with these difficult situations, and in turn the confidence to use them in such environments.

Tipperary animal lover

Go see a solicitor(1st visit is free) and tell him your story and see what he/she has to saw on the matter, always good to get professional advice.

birdwatcher

Hi OP,
Came across a similar incident recently.
The Bully Diary is a great idea, but sometimes you need to substantiate your claims and back them up with hard evidence.
I would suggest you get your hands on a small voice recorder/dictaphone. If you have the means, they can be bought in Argos for around €30.
If you can capture a conversation with one of these women on tape, you've got a case not only for your manager to deal with, but also for an employment tribunal.

The fact that you're being bullied and are no longer happy in your work, despite bringing this matter to the attention of one of your managers already, is grounds for constructive dismissal....two words any employer will not want to hear.
I know it might seem a little extreme, but at the end of the day, it could prove helpful.

best of luck