Making it harder

LegacyUser

So finally decided to return to college after I failed the first time I went there, I was 17 when I went before and just wasn't ready after losing my father the year before and wasn't ready to leave my mom behind with me being the only girl with brothers. After a year of travelling over an hour to and from college I had enough and didn't return for the 2nd year. This year I decided it was time to get on with it get a degree and sort myself out. Got my course, got a house nearly ready to go but my mom is making it so hard for me. I know she doesn't mean to and says stupid things like if you don't like it you can always come home.. Just feel like she is making it so much harder for me than it should be. What can I say or do without hurting her feelings?

edellc

Oh my hearts breaking here for both you and your mom, her little girl is growing up and leaving the nest and unlike last time when you where going to come home this time you may not as your college course should lead to a job, well thats how its suppose to work. Another huge change is your dad not being there whereas most parents lean on each other when their offspring fly the nest your mother will not have that. However OP you can not feel pressure by this, its just a new stage in both your lives with new challenges and adventures.

Why not sit down with your mom and reassure her that you feel ready this time and that you know their will always be a place for you at home but this time you need to do this for you. There where too many things going on last time but now its time to focus on your future. Reassure her you will be okay and that she and your dad did the job that they are suppose to do and that is to prepare you for the big bad world and to be a self functioning adult. So instead of trying to wrap you up in cotton wool due to her own nervousness to see this as just a new chapter.

You are always going to be her baby no matter how old you are and she is always going to be your mammy and you will always need her whether you want to admit to that or not and as you grow older your relationship changes and instead of mother/daughter you will also become friends which is the best gift ever.

Good luck with your college course, I am sure you dad is looking over you beaming with pride its just about getting mammy to untie the apron strings for now.

Peace and love OP x

LegacyUser

my reply for now until I manage a proper one is you really made me cry

edellc

Im sorry Op my intention was never to make you cry, its just I had a mammy like yours and I know that her words and actions always had my best interests at heart even if it made it a bit tough for me when it came to leaving home and trying new adventures.

I think I now have a better understanding of how her taught process was working having become a mammy myself and loosing my own mammy 14mths ago, and knowing now what my job is in relation to my child.

Your mom loves you more than she loves herself and would give her life for you, she just needs a little bit of reassurance that you will be okay and is probably a bit shaky with not having your dad there, thats all. But it will all work out in the end OP and she knows its time for you to fly.

There will be tears and long hugs when you leave and she will bug you to ring her every night for up dates on how you are and are you eating right, but that will calm down, just have a heart to heart with her before you go and all will be well.

So sorry for the tears OP xxx