Going Unprotected

LegacyUser

Hope this forum section is ok..


Male poster btw

Ive been seeing my GF for a few months now and things are going well.. We've a very healthy sex life and are now taking it to next level. My GF has decided she wants to go on the pill and having not been in this situation before Ive a few Qs to put my mind at ease..

Obviously, no.1 I know before having unprotected sex its best to get an STI check done.. I've never had one done despite having previous GFs (althuough havent had unprotected sex before). Ive heard all sorts about what's involved, but others have now said its more advanced and they can tell from urine samples rather than uncomfortable swabs? Im a bit concerned it might be painful!?

Secondly, when she goes on the pill is there a certain amount of time you need to allow before it becomes effective or is it pretty immediate if she takes it in the morning? An unplanned pregnancy would be the last thing we need at this point which is the point Im trying to get at..

Thanks in advance!

Big Bag of Chips

The doctor will advise her on the pill and when to start taking it in order for it to be effective. When she goes to the GP it might be worth going with her, 1: for moral support and 2: to ask any questions you may have.

Has your gf suggested you stop using condoms? Maybe she wants the double protection of condoms and the pill?

There is no harm in going to the GP together armed with your questions.

D-Generate

Initial test can be done through urine and blood samples. If it comes back positive for anything then the doctor will follow up with a swab to determine further treatment.

If you get an STI test, ensure you don't go to the toilet before you get it done. Honestly, the swabs and the like aren't that painful, more uncomfortable, and it lasts for a few seconds. If you want to be 100% certain, which you should be if you're deciding to go unprotected, then I would advise you to get the full range of tests, including blood samples.

As for the when to wait, I don't think anyone here can give you proper advice on that, as it borders on medical advice, so she'll have to consult her GP or pharmacist.

EDIT:

Have you decided on where you'll get it done? A lot of people here would advise against going to a GP as they wouldn't be as qualified, so you're better off doing in an actual clinic. Consult this sticky here, to see where there's one in your locality.

If you do decided to go unprotected, then both of you should have regular STI checks.

Toast4532

beyondme wrote: »

An unplanned pregnancy would be the last thing we need at this point which is the point Im trying to get at..

Thanks in advance!

I would advise using both condoms and the pill, just for extra security.

Without using condoms, if she does become pregnant you wouldn't find out until she missed her first period. And even then, some women bleed for some or all of their pregnancy, so even if your girlfriend does get her period, she could still be pregnant.

As Bag of chips said - does your girlfriend want to continue using the condoms along with the pill? Or does she want to just use the pill?

The pill on it's own isn't enough IMO. If your girlfriend is sick etc the pill won't work properly so you'd need to use condoms.

At least with condoms, your and your girlfriend would know ASAP if the condoms burst etc and could do a test/get the M.A.P straight away.7

Are you going to worry about pregnancy each time after having sex? Is your girlfriend going to have to take a pregnancy test each time after having sex? Because that wouldn't be good or healthy for either of you, not to mention expensive.

If you are really unprepared for a baby I would advise using both condoms and the pill. Of course, even with both, if the condom burst and the pill wasn't working properly, you would still be aware straight away and could see the dr about a test/map.

Curlyhatescurls

In relation to what Toast4532 has said about the pill- the pill is extremely effective, with a 1% failure rate per year if taken correctlyhttp://www.medicines.ie/medicine/2379/spc/microlite So unless you are very anxious, or imo, paranoid, there should not be a constant worry that your girlfriend may be pregnant and not know it if she was taking the pill.

(from my Microlite instruction booklet) 'The combined contraceptive pill protects you against getting pregnant in 3 ways:
No egg is released to be fertilised by sperm
The fluid in the neck of your womb thickens so that it is more difficult for sperm to enter it
The lining of your womb does not thicken enough for an egg to grow in it.'

I don't want to start a big debate about it or anything, as different people take different levels of precaution against pregnancy. The doctor will go through all of this with your girlfriend before she goes on the pill and she should definitely read through the instruction booklet.

I would like to add that I hope it's not just you getting an STI check and that your girlfriend will too. It would be relatively pointless if just one does and not both.

LegacyUser

Curlyhatescurls wrote: »

In relation to what Toast4532 has said about the pill- the pill is extremely effective, with a 1% failure rate per year if taken correctlyhttp://www.medicines.ie/medicine/2379/spc/microlite So unless you are very anxious, or imo, paranoid, there should not be a constant worry that your girlfriend may be pregnant and not know it if she was taking the pill.

1% in an ideal world, how many of us get through a year without having a stomach bug, illness, or throwing up though? I believe typical use which is more accurate stands around 8% failure rate.

The efficacy of COCs may be reduced in the event of e.g. missed tablets (section 'Management of missed tablets'), gastro-intestinal disturbances (section 'Advice in case of gastro-intestinal disturbances') during tablet taking or concomitant medication (Section 4.5).

At least with condoms if it does fail you know and can take alternative precautions, you have no such luxury with the oral pill unfortunately.

I'm not being argumentative but people seem to think the pill is virtually fail safe. It's not. people get pregnant while on the pill all the time. Of course they also get pregnant while using condoms, but as you said only the OP can decide what level of risk he and his gf are willing to accept.

Muir

I'm with Toast with the advice about using the pill & condoms. If you really don't want pregnancy, it's always better to be using two forms of contraception. You haven't really mentioned in your post but did your girlfriend state she didn't want to use condoms? Just because she's going on the pill doesn't mean she doesn't want to use them.

With regards to an STI test, I believe some hospitals (St. James in Dublin for example) have a free clinic so you should look up free clinics in your local area if you want to save the expense.

LegacyUser

OP here

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, it would be both of us getting tested of course. It's both of us really who want to try it, as we think it will enhance our sex life, so its not really a case of her going on it without me wanting her to or vice versa.

I have always been a bit anxious when having sex in case of an unplanned pregnancy, so I won't completely get rid of using condoms when she goes on the pill. Like you guys say, I will wait and see what the GP tells her about the effectiveness etc.

Thanks for the clinics link... Im actually in the UK more than here now so is there an equivalent list or is it done through NHS etc?

Thanks again

beyondme

beyondme wrote: »

OP here

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, it would be both of us getting tested of course. It's both of us really who want to try it, as we think it will enhance our sex life, so its not really a case of her going on it without me wanting her to or vice versa.

I have always been a bit anxious when having sex in case of an unplanned pregnancy, so I won't completely get rid of using condoms when she goes on the pill. Like you guys say, I will wait and see what the GP tells her about the effectiveness etc.

Thanks for the clinics link... Im actually in the UK more than here now so is there an equivalent list or is it done through NHS etc?

Thanks again

Probably best to check with your local family planning clinic and/or hospital to see if there's an STI clinic and what services they offer.

LegacyUser

hi op,

I live in the UK at the moment and it is very straightforward and free to get a full sti check-up on the NHS. also if your gf is also in the uk all contraception is free too, including more effective birth control such as the implant or shot.

The pill, when taken correctly, is very effective. But it all depends on how vigilant you and your gf are about using it. IMO if it is always being taken properly then it is overkill to use condoms as well in your situation.

That said, it is important to talk about what you would do if a pregnancy were to occur. If you have completely different plans on how you would deal with that situation it might be wise to use condoms as well and possibly even to refrain from sex until you are both on the same page regarding an unwanted pregnancy.