College Ruined...

LegacyUser

This problem is probably insignificant compared to other people's issues but I felt the need to post it anyway...

Basically I'm going into my final year of college and I feel that the whole experience has been ruined for me (and by me). Basically I was with a girl for the first 2 and a half years, absolutely mad about her so I never bothered trying to get involved in the whole college experience such as going out on night's out with the class etc. This made it hard to get to know people in the class considering I'm quite shy, not getting involved has resulted in there being not one person in my class I'd consider a friend. I know I've only myself to blame but is one more year just a little too late to enjoy college seein as everyone knows each other really well at this stage and I'm kinda literally just showing up to learn?

Roisy7

It's never too late! I know it's something everyone says, but do look up clubs and socs you might be interested in and get involved, it is a great way to meet people

Do you live at home or in college? Get to know your housemates if you're away from home

It being final year, you prob will find your social life slowing down a bit anyway, I know I did. So don't feel like a loser if you aren't going out as much, you're not. You might find yourself talking to your classmates more about assignments etc anyway. Do ye have a class rep/organised nights out at all?

I expect you know yourself anyway, but don't give up any of your life experiences for the next girl. Healthy relationships are the ones which maintain a bit of individual independence.

Good luck OP

tony81

Agreed, it's never too late. Group projects and meeting up to study can be a great way to get to know people. As for nights out.. plenty of time for that either during the year or after your exams.

lace

It's definitely not too late to get into college life!!

Plenty of people change courses or have to repeat years and only land into a year late in the course. There are still loads of ways to make friends and enjoy yourself! First off - have a talk to your class rep and see if there are any nights out or social events organised. Lots of classes have a Facebook group now, so if your class does then try to get involved with discussions on there too. Or even start small by chatting to people around you before and after lectures. I know it may seem like people on your course have already formed their own groups and friendships but these things change all the time.

Another great way to have fun in college is to get involved with clubs and societies. It's a little daunting at first because they can seem quite clique-y in some colleges but as long as you really throw yourself into it - volunteer, sign up to do things and actually attend training/meetings/events/nights out - you'll make friends pretty quickly.

Please don't think your college experience is ruined. There is still so much fun to be had! Just keep your head up and get involved

LegacyUser

It's pretty difficult to keep your head up when every time you're in college, you feel a constant reminder of how everyone knows each other so well and you're basically an outsider. It doesn't help that I'm shy either, and a lot of people in the course most likely have me tagged as a bit of a social recluse so that kinda renders them extremely difficult to approach! It's weird as I've a decent amount of friends outside of college and generally get along with people that I know. It's just really hard to get enthusiastic when you constantly feel like sh!t any time you're there....

Roisy7

CollegeRuined wrote: »

It's pretty difficult to keep your head up when every time you're in college, you feel a constant reminder of how everyone knows each other so well and you're basically an outsider. It doesn't help that I'm shy either, and a lot of people in the course most likely have me tagged as a bit of a social recluse so that kinda renders them extremely difficult to approach! It's weird as I've a decent amount of friends outside of college and generally get along with people that I know. It's just really hard to get enthusiastic when you constantly feel like sh!t any time you're there....

Aw OP I know it can be tough. I take it you're in quite a small college?

Look you are not alone. Plenty of people find college a lot tougher than they let on, it can be very lonely, and trust me people won't have tagged you as a social recluse. They knew you had a girlfriend, firstly, they probably assume you don't go out with them because you have your own friends.

If you find it really tough- and I think you should at least try with people, even if that means faking your confidence- just bear in mind that you'll be outta there in May. Although, genuinely, as someone who is out of college, I wish I'd taken a bit more advantage of the clubs and socs. If I want to do aerobics or something now, I have to pay a tenner per class in some hotel but back then I could just go along the college gym and pay two euro.

It could be your chance for a bit of reinvention