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Mixed Signals - should I just forget him?

  • 04-09-2012 1:29pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been seeing someone for only a couple of weeks now, it's prob a bad sign that things aren't going smoothly at this stage. We were seeing each other regularly for the first two weeks, coffee, lunch dates and in the evening... we prob met about 4 days out of the week for some period of time.

    We both took days off work and went on a day trip last week, we had a really lovely time and after we'd gotten back he was texting me telling me how much he enjoyed it and loves spending time with me. A couple of days later we were supposed to meet for lunch but I had to cancel because something came up at work. We spoke on the phone that day and have texted since but everytime I suggest meeting up since he has put me off, so we now haven't seen each other for a full week and have no future plans as it is. I've asked him if he'd like to just leave things off and he keeps saying he is just down and stressed at work.

    I hate not knowing where I stand, it's early days so it's no biggy if he doesn't want to pursue things and I've really not put any pressure on him. At the same time I do like him and I don't want to bail just because he is having a rough time at work.

    Would love to hear your thoughts on what I should do and where I should go from here!


Comments

  • #2
    Ellsbells
    Closed Accounts Posts: 985 ✭✭✭Ellsbells


    Don't ask him again what the story is. If he is just busy fine then keep yourself twice as busy. I would start to take a back seat, stay busy and see how you feel if / when he is back in contact.


  • #3
    Piliger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    Hi OP. I think that he owes you a proper explanation. Say to him it seems like it's over - and if he says no ... then he needs to explain why. I wouldn't contact him again or keep asking him repeatedly (not that you are !). If there's no explanation then you need to look after yourself.


  • #4
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    I know it's only been a couple of weeks but if someone behaves a certain way and establishes a consistent pattern and then suddenly changes their behaviour it's normally with good reason. You've already asked him for an explanation, he has given you a pretty rubbish one, and I'd just walk away with my pride and leave it at that. Sounds like he is no longer keen and/or may have met someone else so if that's the case then I would leave him be. If he was keen he would have continued on as normal and have been eager to see you again. Rather than waste time on speculation I'd chalk him down to one that wasn't going to work out if I were you.


  • #5
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,607 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    Maybe he is stressed at work, he might have got in trouble for taking the day off last week. Give him the benefit of the doubt keep in contact with him but if he doesn't suggest a meet by this weekend forget about him and move on.


  • #6
    Loughc
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 25,390 Mod ✭✭✭✭Loughc


    Meauldsegosha wrote: »
    Maybe he is stressed at work, he might have got in trouble for taking the day off last week. Give him the benefit of the doubt keep in contact with him but if he doesn't suggest a meet by this weekend forget about him and move on.


    Absolutely agree with this, it's important especially at the start to give him the benefit of the doubt, you don't know what kind of pressures he may be under in work.

    But at the same time you need to give yourself a definitive deadline, if he doesn't make plans for you during his spare time, cut him loose and find someone who will make you their first thought and not an after thought! :)


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