No interest in girlfriend

LegacyUser

Hi,

Well I have been with my girlfriend for the last 7/8 months and while she is a really nice girl I just find that I don't have really any interest in her I know that sounds bad but I really think she deserves to be with someone else who will have a genuine interest in her.

I think I have just come to the realization that I am better off being single.

Also, she is very clingy and constantly wants to kiss and touch me and when we go out for dinner she insists that I sit beside her instead of opposite her (so that she can touch me all evening).

Any advice as to what I should do? She is a lovely girl but just not for me and I don't want to upset her because it is not fair.

I'm really torn ...... Thanks in advance!

AnnyHallsal

It sounds to me like you know you need to break up with her. Your feelings have changed while she is still clearly in love. If her clinginess was the only issue you could speak to her about that. But I think your reaction is a sign that you are done. It also sounds like you've begun to imagine yourself single and have become accustomed to the idea, preparing yourself for what you need to do. It will hurt her but you know it's for the best in the end.

Curlyhatescurls

You 'don't want to upset her'? I'm really sorry but this is absolutely not possible. Either way you look at it you are going to upset her. From the sounds of it she really likes you, so you breaking up with her will break her heart. But, she will get over that and move on in time.

What is your alternative? Are you saying that you would consider staying with her even though you don't really like her? Till when? Until she breaks up with you? Until you have children? You care for her enough to want the best for her, you know that someone else can give her the love she deserves. So you know the answer. You also deserve better, there is someone out there who will interest you and be more suitable.

You seem pretty sure that she is not the girl for you, so as long as you have put a lot of thought into this, that's it's not some spontaneous decision that she doesn't really 'interest' you and you don't think you like her all that much, then break up with her. She will hurt now, but she will hurt a lot less than if you stayed with her because you were afraid of breaking up.

Also- just reading back over my post it may come across as sounding a bit harsh. Sorry. You sound like a lovely and caring person, I was just trying to be firm as this is not something you can tiptoe around. There will be pain no matter what decision you make, but you have to make a decision unfortunately.

WhatAMelon

Spend a brief period mulling on the words you will use and then use these words to end the relationship. Do it sooner rather than later.

Raminahobbin

Sometimes relationships just run their course- it's okay, you have nothing to feel bad about. Unless you handle the breakup badly.

Think about what you want to say, meet up with her, say your piece and allow her to ask her questions etc. Just be honest. Tell her you want no contact and do NOT give her any hope. If you give her a sliver, she won't hear anything else. Some people would just walk and not answer any texts/calls from her after this point, but I thinks it's better to allow her a grace period of a few days to be upset and hear your reasons again (usually they can't take it all in the first time as they're in shock). However, after a few days you need to get firmer and after 5/6 days you need to cut contact. Completely.

Roisy7

I'm guessing ye're both fairly young and this is one of your first relationships?

I presume it's a case of familiarity breeding contempt, her clinginess isn't helping? She sounds incredibly clingy.

OP, do her a favour, and yourself. You're not into it, so let her go.

It may help her in the long run, she will learn better boundaries for her next relationship!

Piliger

notinterested wrote: »

I just find that I don't have really any interest in her


I think I have just come to the realization that I am better off being single.


Any advice as to what I should do?

Hi OP. I would suggest that those three statements lead to a fairly obvious conclusion ........

Merkin

notinterested wrote: »

I'm really torn QUOTE]

I get that you're a nice guy but you've nothing to be torn about. In order to be in a successful relationship you need to love and care and fancy the arse off the other person. If the overriding emotion is indifference then it's time to split to be honest.

It somewhat sounds like a relationship that won't last, especially if your main feeling towards it is apathy. I also don't get the whole sitting beside each other when you're eating out; you can't talk to the person properly at all!

Redbrunette

I was a person at the other end of a situation like that. End it sooner rather than later. Being a nice guy is only gonna hurt her more.

HeyThereDeliah

notinterested wrote: »

Hi,

I'm really torn ...... Thanks in advance!

you have to tell her and finish with her it's not fair to let her get more involved with you. Ending relationships is part of life it's not nice but its kinder to be honest than string someone along.
While she might come across as clingy going by what you said was there a time when you enjoyed this attention.
Looks like you have made up you mind and she is not the girl for you.

AnonoBoy

Do it sooner rather than later.

It's better to break up with someone when you know you're not into them any more.

Stringing them along because you don't want to upset them is stupid because generally the longer the relationship goes on, the more upsetting the breakup will be.