'Watcher/Minder' in training group

LegacyUser

Pretty annoyed about this, actually I'm really quite put out by it to be honest!
I'm in a small group of people who will be undergoing training in lightweight technical skills, nothing difficult, but it's necessary training. I'm the oldest in the group, being in my late 20s, with two others in mid 20s and rest early 20s.

I found out last week that the coordinator of the training will be sitting in with us to keep an eye on us, even though they themselves are not in the group of trainees obviously.

We are in the creative industry and I find the idea of a minder keeping an eye on us really off putting and it's going to put me off my game completely. I have been to a networking event so far and having been talking to someone I turned around casually, and this minder person was actually staring at me. I absolutely hate the idea that they think they can just watch us and judge and there's no way I want to withdraw from the training over it as it's just for 2 weeks. But it's the first 2 weeks of a long training/placement programme and I so wanted it to go well. Their being there is crap.

I will have to try to ignore that they are there. I would really appreciate any advice on how to deal with this as I wasn't expecting it and I don't know what to do to be honest. After catching this person staring at me, and having gone out of my way to be nice to them up to this, I just don't like their approach. When I'm in a room I'm not starting at others, i'm looking and talking to the person in front of me or beside me, and this is a serious problem for me. I hate people watchers that are on the look out for faults, and my instinct is telling me this is what they will be doing.

help!

Starokan

This is something that obviously does not suit your personality. I'd be the exact same, having said that don't read to much into the staring, it may have been that he/she was concentrating on supervising which is what they are paid to do.

Like most new things we dislike the best thing to do is just through yourself into it, the more focused you are on the task at hand the more you will forget the supervision/watching.

Before you know it it will be over, if you feel that you are not performing to your ability because of it and that it may affect the overall impression people have of you then have a chat with the person after the day finishes. It wont be the first time they have heard of this.

LegacyUser

Thank you, I really appreciate your reply. I'm not one to watch and stare - I deliberately don't out of respect for a person's space- and sure, lots of people do stare at others, and I generally just ignore them, anyway most of the time I'm not being stared at... I'm pretty normal and mind my own business. They just totally caught me off guard at the networking event. Here i was, nervous as I was, making a real effort to talk to new people and down the way their eyes are gridlocked on me. They knew lots of people there. Obviously they have little empathy, and that;s a terrible sign as I don't get on with people who don't have empathy and once they display something like this it's clear they don't and that they are possibly the judgmental type.

My company ran this training previously so perhaps they have someone there for a good reason, but at my age it also just feels a little bit too much. I'm not at all worried about my doing this training at an older age to others there, as I have lots to bring to it, but just the eyes being on me in a critical way for no good reason is horrible. I think it's sad they have someone sitting in on a group of creative adults.

Will take your advice, focus like hell, and avoid their gaze completely. If possible I'll sit or position myself so that they only get to see the back of my head!

To be honest, I think you're taking the situation a little over-defensively. I know how annoying it can be when you know someone's watching you. I'm good at my job but any time my customer is someone I know, I get nervous and make mistakes because I know they're forming an opinion on how I work.

I know you feel nervous, but I think it's unfair to blame everyone else, describing the supervisor as having no empathy and being judgmental and the company as being sad. You're making it all awfully personal, when these people are just doing their job and doing those jobs for a reason. It's a fair enough request on behalf of your employers that you be watched during your training, and all your colleagues are in the same boat. You'll have to grin and bear it.

I only point out your attitude as defensive because it could be the one thing that will go against you with regards to the supervisor. You need to be seen as not only good at your job but good with people. You mention you were at a networking event so you must need some people skills in your role.

My advice would be the opposite of what you said you'd be doing. Trying to ignore a person who is clearly there will only serve to make you more on edge. I'd suggest acknowledging their presence, adjusting your body language to accept them when they're there, and taking this as an opportunity to stand out and impress.

username123

Is it possible that the 'minder' is actually there to assess the quality of training (which I presume money is being spent on). I know I have been sent on some training courses where they also sent an irrelevant manager whose function it was to assess whether or not the company was getting their moneys worth.

Personally I wouldnt care if someone was sent along. Its highly unlikely they are on the 'lookout for your faults' - could you look at this another way and see that perhaps they are on the lookout for your strengths?

In your situation I wouldnt be taking this as some kind of personal attack but simply be shrugging at the notion that the company has sent an extra person - its really not a big deal but if you act out against it you can make it a big deal. Hopefully the training will absorb you enough that you will forget about this person and just get on with whats supposed to be going on - ie, getting trained!

Big Bag of Chips

The watcher/minder could be there for a variety of reasons.. the least likely being that they are specifically looking for your faults.

They could be there to
-assess the training
-assess the trainer
-be there as extra support to the trainees
-assess who is confident in themselves and enthusiastic about the company etc..

I think this comes down to confidence. If a person is confident in themselves then they rarely think that people are looking for their faults (because they don't believe they have that many )

If someone is unsure of themselves they believe everyone else is unsure of them too!

Rather than hide away and ignore this person, show yourself off to them!