Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Awkward situation

  • 31-08-2012 1:08am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a good friend who I've known for about three years. He is male, I'm female, we're both in our early twenties and used to work together. I left the job to go abroad about a year ago, but we always kept in touch and would occasionally meet. I have recently returned to Ireland, and I received a message from him a few days ago, in which he confessed that he had feelings for me, and asked me out.

    I don't know what to do now. I have a boyfriend abroad that I love very much (I think my friend assumed that I'd be single when I came back), and now I don't feel it's appropriate to continue this friendship knowing what I know. I don't want to lead him on and I don't really feel comfortable being around him knowing how he feels. I would feel like I was betraying my boyfriend somehow if I continued on as if nothing had changed. How should I approach this without hurting him too much?


Comments

  • #2
    Gooner111
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 116 ✭✭Gooner111


    You seem set on ending the friendship so try be gentle but be completely honest. Tell him you love your boyfriend; that you don't have any feelings for him and that you cannot remain friends knowing he has feelings for you. Then wish him all the best for the future.


  • #3
    jessiejam
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 778 ✭✭✭jessiejam


    Why do you have to end the friendship?
    Just tell him the truth and if you want to, tell him that you would like to remain friends. If he can handle it.


  • #4
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    jessiejam wrote: »
    Why do you have to end the friendship?
    Just tell him the truth and if you want to, tell him that you would like to remain friends. If he can handle it.
    A quarantine period might do the trick. Minimise contact for a while, and make sure to tell him why. It would be necessary that he be honest with himself and you about re-orienting his feelings.


  • #5
    Ellsbells
    Closed Accounts Posts: 985 ✭✭✭Ellsbells


    jessiejam wrote: »
    Why do you have to end the friendship?
    Just tell him the truth and if you want to, tell him that you would like to remain friends. If he can handle it.

    Exactly - there is no need to make a big drama out of it... Just explain that you are seeing someone.


  • #6
    Mighty_Mouse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,882 ✭✭✭Mighty_Mouse


    Echo what is said above.
    These things happen from time to time between boy & girl mates.
    Knock it on the head & move on with the friendship.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    She Who Dares Wins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 50 ✭✭She Who Dares Wins


    It's lousy to be the one to decide to end the friendship. Tell him about your bf, tell him you're flattered though and that you hope it doesnt affect the friendship, then try get back to normal. If he needs to step back then that's what he needs but you're jumping to the conclusion that he wont be able to get past this.


Advertisement