Not Exclusive is it cheating

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am seeing this girl for the past month. We are not in an exclusive relationship, early days etc. As we are not using protection when sleeping together we said that we would tell one another if we slept with someone else as it would be great to be honest from the start of what may eventually happen and also because of health reasons.

i have not slept with anyone however I know that she has but has not told me. we have not slept with eachother since.

I am unsure whether to stop seeing her due to the lack of honesty or whether just to continue sleeping with her and use protection and see how the relationship develops.

As you may tell I like this girl but is lack of trust and honesty at this stage an indication that I should just walk away. I am conscious that we are not in a relationship so therefore i cannot be demanding on the exclusiveness

Gooner111

How old are you two???

You don't know this girl all that well and your having unprotected sex.... please stop!!!!!! Your putting yourself at risk especially given she is sleeping with others. Besides the risk of STD's there is pregnancy. You need to start wearing protection for your own safety.

Now... why on earth are you still seeing her? I get the whole non exclusive thing but don't really buy into it myself ESPECIALLY after you start sleeping with them. If she is going to be seeing other people as well as you then your not getting a proper chance. As for her sleeping with someone else and not telling you, maybe they used a condom so she feels she doesn't need to tell you. However the fact that she has slept with someone esle does, for me, show where you stand with her.

I suppose really it depends on whether you find all this acceptable or not but I would suggest it is time to move on and find someone who wants to be with you. Remember...safety first!!

beks101

Why are you having unprotected sex with a girl you hardly know who has multiple sexual partners?

Are you aware of how risky this behaviour is?

stargazer 68

[QUOTE=
i have not slept with anyone however I know that she has but has not told me. we have not slept with eachother since.

[/QUOTE]

Gooner111 wrote: »

I get the whole non exclusive thing but don't really buy into it myself ESPECIALLY after you start sleeping with them.

Well number 1 - how do you know she slept with someone else if she hasn't told you.
Number 2 - I dont get the non exclusive thing personally but I have to agree once you start sleeping with someone then is the time to have the 'exclusive talk'

P. Breathnach

Not Exclusive is it cheating wrote: »

... is lack of trust and honesty at this stage an indication that I should just walk away...

I'd say yes.

This all seems a bit weird -

You've been seeing her for a month and already you're not using condoms? Do you know if she's been screened for STIs? Have you been? Is she on contraception? I'm assuming this conversation has been had, otherwise it seems just silly to shove it in without protection.

To me, once you start regularly sleeping with someone, you are seeing them, but that might just be me.

I also don't get the need for her to tell you whether she's sleeping with others because you're not wearing protection - is it a regular thing that she sleeps with guys without protection?

Toast4532

Unprotected sex with someone you don't know? Are you for real OP? That has to be one of the most stupid things you could do.

Do you want the STI's/STD's/lkids? Because if you keep this up, that is exactly what you are going to get.

For me - once you start seeing/sleeping with someone regularly then you are in a relationship and you are exclusive.

To be honest, neither of you sound mature enough to be in relationships, let alone to be having unprotected sex. You both need to educate yourself on the risks of unprotected sex and then make an informed and mature decision whether or not you want to continue with it.

Personally, if I was seeing a guy who like you just wanted unprotected sex I'd run a mile from him.

woodchuck

:eek:

1. Stop seeing her

2. Get checked out for STDs

3. Educate yourself on safe sex and use protection with any future partners

ultra_other

beks101 wrote: »

Why are you having unprotected sex with a girl you hardly know who has multiple sexual partners?

Are you aware of how risky this behaviour is?

1. Stop seeing her

2. Get checked out for STDs

3. Educate yourself on safe sex and use protection with any future partners

I agree 100% with the above 2 posters.

You need to step away from this girl due to her due to the lack of honesty.
And stop FTLOG haveing unprotected sex with any person you are with until you know the person better and you both agree, ie, in a proper realationship.

Protection is easier got now, I believe that there are apps out there that will tell you where it is located cloest to you.
I remember in the early 90's you had to go a chemist shop to buy them