Can't meet girls I'm attracted to.

LegacyUser

Hi,
So long story short, I'm having trouble meeting people I like.

My ex left me for some other guy a while back and after a lot of damaged feelings, I'm getting up and out there again. So I've tried things like online dating, etc...

I've got some dates, some went really well but I'm just not that attracted to the girls I've met. I know this sounds simple but I don't know... I can't seem to find/meet/get dates with anyone I'm really attracted to. Some I've met have been nice girls and a lot of fun but I just wasn't feeling it.

I'd like to meet someone again but I don't want to start something with someone just for the sake of it.

One thing is, this isn't one of these posts where, I need to get over my ex, I need to "work" on myself", etc...
I'm in a good place and I'm ready to meet someone new, I just can't seem to find the type of person I want, in my normal life. I don't really know what to try.

Scanlas The 2nd

meetsomeonenew wrote: »

Hi,
So long story short, I'm having trouble meeting people I like.

My ex left me for some other guy a while back and after a lot of damaged feelings, I'm getting up and out there again. So I've tried things like online dating, etc...

I've got some dates, some went really well but I'm just not that attracted to the girls I've met. I know this sounds simple but I don't know... I can't seem to find/meet/get dates with anyone I'm really attracted to. Some I've met have been nice girls and a lot of fun but I just wasn't feeling it.

I'd like to meet someone again but I don't want to start something with someone just for the sake of it.

One thing is, this isn't one of these posts where, I need to get over my ex, I need to "work" on myself", etc...
I'm in a good place and I'm ready to meet someone new, I just can't seem to find the type of person I want, in my normal life. I don't really know what to try.

The only answer then is to spread your net wider, meet more women.

Piliger

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The only answer then is to spread your net wider, meet more women.

Exactly ... and be patient. Some people are lucky and most of us have to be patient and persistent.

beks101

Yeah I think the biggest flaw with online dating is that chemistry isn't detectable from behind a computer screen. So someone can be a 'perfect match' in an academic sense, but you meet up and it's like having a conversation with your sister/brother. Seems to be incredibly common in OD too.

I'm not sure what your social life is like, but I would say kill your OD account and just get out and about as much as possible. Go to all the house parties and nights out and trips away and if you see someone you like, don't sit around wondering and ASK HER OUT!

I've also found that when you're not going into a social situation where finding a potential date is on your radar, and you're just there to hang out with friends and have fun, people tend to be far more attracted to you. Some weird Murphy's Law thing or something...! So I'd say your should focus your energy elsewhere - set a goal with your favourite hobby and focus on that, or do some travelling, or let your goal be to spend as much time as possible with friends...you're far more likely to be noticeable to the opposite sex if you're the guy who's smiling and laughing and chatting to everyone in the room, than if you're standing there doubting yourself and sizing up every girl in the room.

Best of luck. Have fun!

Piliger

OD is a great way to enhance your social life. Continue doing both is my advice. That spreads the net and gives you the highest chance of meeting lots of potential candidates.

LegacyUser

Hi, thanks all,

So the thing is this. I find bars and stuff difficult. Somethings I might see someone I want to approach or might even see someone looking at me and I want to approach...

But they are always in big groups. And I have no idea what to say. I try to introduce myself (no lines...) but after that I dont know where to take it to make her laugh or want to continue talking, its all a bit awkward.

Any advice on this?

petebricquette

meetsomeonenew wrote: »

Hi, thanks all,

So the thing is this. I find bars and stuff difficult. Somethings I might see someone I want to approach or might even see someone looking at me and I want to approach...

But they are always in big groups. And I have no idea what to say. I try to introduce myself (no lines...) but after that I dont know where to take it to make her laugh or want to continue talking, its all a bit awkward.

Any advice on this?

Yeah man, I'd just avoid bars as a means of meeting someone. I don't mean the "quiet drink" kinds of places but definitely don't expect to be able to strike up a conversation and come across well in a place like Coppers or any superpub.

I've found that just walking straight up to a girl, introducing yourself then asking her a bit about herself is often a handy enough way of starting off. Then, once you've relaxed into the conversation a bit, you'll be much more comfortable cracking jokes without that voice in your head screaming at you to be funny. (This may just be me, though).

Lorna123

The more people you meet the more chances of meeting people you are not attracted to, but there is also a chance that you will someone you are attracted to. See what I mean, the chances are slimmer for clicking with people. I don't know why that should be but it seems to be the case. All you can do is hang on in there until the right woman comes along. Luck also comes into it.