how to stay off the drink

brian lamontage

iv been drinking now for 10 years. like many young Irish people i started in my teens. but in the last 3 years i have really put my body through hell drinking 6 nite's a week eating crap food and doing very little exercise....iv stopped drinking as of today but i dont know how to keep of it.

Anotherreg

As I'm only about 20 days ahead of you on this curve (and ten years more drinking), I can't offer much advice. I've tried to keep myself busy, I've done more exercise, attended more matches, done more housework, spent more time with my wife and kids and not woken up with a steaming hangover.

I've now been to two social functions, and have drank a combination of water, tea and coffee at those.

Just keep yourself busy. Hopefully that will work for you (and me).

kerryjack

Like previous post I am no expert and can only tell you about my own experience , I am heading for the 3 month mark , the first few weeks were hard you had to change the habit of going for pints and Like anothereg said you have to find something else to do, keeping active ,take the opportunity to lose a few pounds and get a bit fitter, use it as an excuse when people will ask you why you are not drinking tonight or next weekend, when you pass the first few weeks with out drink you will start to think with a clear head, what i find now is that i am able to finish something now , like things i started years ago little jobs around the farm that were just left there half finished. look have ago, keep posting and let us know how you are getting on

shogun1

To be honest your going to find it very hard without help.Go to your local doctor and ask his her advice(dont be embrassed they get this every day)

Sunnyisland

Posted this a few times here already hope it helps.

I have made the suggestion to new posters here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol problems/abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of problem drinking/abuse.


SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one ? Well I have used and tried all of these in my own battle

• Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
• Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
• Dietary supplements
• A healthy diet, and regular meals
• Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
• Spending a significant amount of time here or other online forums that help with problem drinking/abuse, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
• Going to AA meetings
• Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"

Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).

Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.

Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; You certainly will benefit from going to like minded forums even here and talking about it.

Making a plan & following it through is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go. Good luck Brian and anotherreg __________________
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde

brian lamontage

thanks, i will and do need a plan. today is number 4 without a drink and im starting to get an itch even now at 9 in the morning to get beers in for tonight....i don't want to!!! but i find my brain telling me. sure one night wont kill you and you cant give up completely straight away....excuses excuses....(yesterday i found it hard so i cut the grass, power-hosed the yard, walked the dogs i found myself happy and content and tired and not wanting to drink, as i get so much done when im hangover free, but i found myself being more snappy/cranky with the woman which isn't like me at all) i can walk the dogs again today and clean the house but thats only a few hours filled up....i need a plan

brian lamontage

shogun1 wrote: »

To be honest your going to find it very hard without help.Go to your local doctor and ask his her advice(dont be embrassed they get this every day)

i have made an appointment so i will let you know how i get on. im going to do it this time

shogun1

brian lamontage wrote: »

shogun1 wrote: »

To be honest your going to find it very hard without help.Go to your local doctor and ask his her advice(dont be embrassed they get this every day)

i have made an appointment so i will let you know how i get on. im going to do it this time

Fair play to you for making the appointment I found my own doctor amazing.You could ask him/her about anti booze tablets.You take one a day and you can't drink for five days after.now if it was this easy everyone who wanted to stop drinking would take this.but it's not and if you want to drink you will just stop taking the pills.when I was first out of treatment they worked well for me.my sister lived close to me and I used to call everyday and take the pill in front of her .But I used that along with AA meetings.Dont be ashamed about trying them(you don't have to tell anyone besides your wife) I also posted about a new group called Lifering yesterday so maybe have a look at that.Giving up drink is hard work but can be amazing.Best of luck with the doctor and I hope you make it

ronan45

Good thread

Allthough im a hardened vodka drinker (3/4 of a litre bottle on a session)
I have found giving myself the TOTAL drinking ban. made me binge more.

I now try to just have a "civil" few instead of going out of my mind drunk.
Dont get me wrong im a weekend binger not (2 nights per week tops, thats all i can stick)

Instead of vodka ill try drink a bottle of wine or a few pints of guinness i dont think ill ever be able to totally stop drinkin:o

ronan45

shogun1 wrote: »

Fair play to you for making the appointment I found my own doctor amazing.You could ask him/her about anti booze tablets.You take one a day and you can't drink for five days after.now if it was this easy everyone who wanted to stop drinking would take this.but it's not and if you want to drink you will just stop taking the pills.when I was first out of treatment they worked well for me.my sister lived close to me and I used to call everyday and take the pill in front of her .But I used that along with AA meetings.Dont be ashamed about trying them(you don't have to tell anyone besides your wife) I also posted about a new group called Lifering yesterday so maybe have a look at that.Giving up drink is hard work but can be amazing.Best of luck with the doctor and I hope you make it

Stupid question time.
What happens if you drink during one of the 5 days ie on the 4th day?

ronan45

brian lamontage wrote: »

thanks, i will and do need a plan. today is number 4 without a drink and im starting to get an itch even now at 9 in the morning to get beers in for tonight....i don't want to!!! but i find my brain telling me. sure one night wont kill you and you cant give up completely straight away....excuses excuses....(yesterday i found it hard so i cut the grass, power-hosed the yard, walked the dogs i found myself happy and content and tired and not wanting to drink, as i get so much done when im hangover free, but i found myself being more snappy/cranky with the woman which isn't like me at all) i can walk the dogs again today and clean the house but thats only a few hours filled up....i need a plan

A silly way I have to kill the goo is to order fast food. as soon as i eat it i cant drink. its probably as unhealthy though lol Gurrr. :rolleyes:
I can so identify with this post! Heading home on thursdays sayin...shall i start the weekend tonight??? lol
"Sure its friday why not everyone else in ireland is getting drunk too"

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

brian lamontage wrote: »

thanks, i will and do need a plan. today is number 4 without a drink and im starting to get an itch even now at 9 in the morning to get beers in for tonight....i don't want to!!! but i find my brain telling me. sure one night wont kill you and you cant give up completely straight away....excuses excuses....(yesterday i found it hard so i cut the grass, power-hosed the yard, walked the dogs i found myself happy and content and tired and not wanting to drink, as i get so much done when im hangover free, but i found myself being more snappy/cranky with the woman which isn't like me at all) i can walk the dogs again today and clean the house but thats only a few hours filled up....i need a plan

The problem here is the habit. You're so used to thinking that way you need to retrain your brain.

Also, take up a hobby if you've more free time. Evening courses should be starting up soon.

shogun1

ronan45 wrote: »

shogun1 wrote: »

Fair play to you for making the appointment I found my own doctor amazing.You could ask him/her about anti booze tablets.You take one a day and you can't drink for five days after.now if it was this easy everyone who wanted to stop drinking would take this.but it's not and if you want to drink you will just stop taking the pills.when I was first out of treatment they worked well for me.my sister lived close to me and I used to call everyday and take the pill in front of her .But I used that along with AA meetings.Dont be ashamed about trying them(you don't have to tell anyone besides your wife) I also posted about a new group called Lifering yesterday so maybe have a look at that.Giving up drink is hard work but can be amazing.Best of luck with the doctor and I hope you make it

Stupid question time.
What happens if you drink during one of the 5 days ie on the 4th day?

If you drink during those days your blood pressure will rise you will get very sick maybe end up in hospital are worse that's why doctors don't hand them out to everyone.as I said if it was as easy as taking a pill it would be great

xzanti

Make a list of the reasons why you wish to stop drinking and read them and add to them daily..

Use them as affirmations as to why you want to free yourself.

Edit: I don't mean reasons as in "Alcohol is bad for your liver" etc

I mean your own personal reasons.. i.e.

1. I will have more money
2. I will respect myself more
3. I will have more energy

And so on and so forth.

Corvo

I tried to give it up for 6 weeks there not too long ago, went to the gym etc and I swear I nearly drove my own head through the wall with boredom.

Fair play to you, I hope you can do it. I know I can't.

xzanti

Very inspirational

26going80

Has anybody on this tread stopped because of blacking out and foolish stupid behavour while drinking??

Strawberry Fields

26going80 wrote: »

Has anybody on this tread stopped because of blacking out and foolish stupid behavour while drinking??

yes and yes.

26going80

how long are you off the beer and how are you finding it?

Strawberry Fields

26going80 wrote: »

how long are you off the beer and how are you finding it?

Nearly 4 years, in the beginning it was extremely tough but as time goes on it gets easier and it's easier to let go of the idea that I want to drink.
I'm much healthier, I go the gym 4/5 times a week and I've become more mature and responsible.
I regret the road I went down and not knocking it on the head years ago or at least not being able to do moderation.
All in all it's improved my life.

souls

I was off alcohol for 3 months last year and felt much better for it..the only problem was all my friends(close childhood friends) drink.i live on my own so i would get lonely feeling isolated and depressed,it was only a matter of time before i fell off the wagon..

i would consider myself a heavy drinker,and feel its taken its toll on me particularly mentally, I'm not to sure what the neurological effects of heavy drinking are,but when it gets to the stage where you can't leave the house or find it unbearable to talk to people,then things have to change!

I'm 7 days off drink now,and feel like ****!but I'm aware withdrawal is part of the process..and will not give in!

there are some really helpful threads on this which i really could of done with seeing last year,but that was then,and i have found them now so i am grateful for that!

hubba

souls wrote: »

I was off alcohol for 3 months last year and felt much better for it..the only problem was all my friends(close childhood friends) drink.i live on my own so i would get lonely feeling isolated and depressed,it was only a matter of time before i fell off the wagon..

i would consider myself a heavy drinker,and feel its taken its toll on me particularly mentally, I'm not to sure what the neurological effects of heavy drinking are,but when it gets to the stage where you can't leave the house or find it unbearable to talk to people,then things have to change!

I'm 7 days off drink now,and feel like ****!but I'm aware withdrawal is part of the process..and will not give in!

there are some really helpful threads on this which i really could of done with seeing last year,but that was then,and i have found them now so i am grateful for that!

Well done, Souls. I'm not an expert but here's my humble advice - For now I think it's quite important that you make sure your basic needs are being met: get lots of rest, eat well, get lots of fresh air, gentle exercise and be kind to yourself. Also it's important to keep busy, plan 24 hours ahead to make sure there are no gaps where you can suddenly find your emotions flooding in and overwhelming you.

Gradually, the anxiety lessens, the longer you go without alcohol and you learn how to deal with social situations and life's challenges in general bit by bit, from a sober perspective. This is TRUE learning and will give you confidence.

It's a slow process, but one which will be very rewarding, fill you with confidence and strengthen your self respect and generally turn you into a better person. Stick with it. You are worth it.

kerryjack

souls wrote: »

I was off alcohol for 3 months last year and felt much better for it..the only problem was all my friends(close childhood friends) drink.i live on my own so i would get lonely feeling isolated and depressed,it was only a matter of time before i fell off the wagon..

i would consider myself a heavy drinker,and feel its taken its toll on me particularly mentally, I'm not to sure what the neurological effects of heavy drinking are,but when it gets to the stage where you can't leave the house or find it unbearable to talk to people,then things have to change!

I'm 7 days off drink now,and feel like ****!but I'm aware withdrawal is part of the process..and will not give in!

there are some really helpful threads on this which i really could of done with seeing last year,but that was then,and i have found them now so i am grateful for that!

Hi souls off the drink 4 months myself and feel great for it, like you said there is some great people on here that offer great encouragement and support for people who want to live a life free from alcohol , I can tell you a few things that worked well for me, I got myself a dog he needs to be walked and looked after, I plan my day keeping active eating well, loads of exercise, i got back playing some golf, and walking the dog , a dog is a great way of meeting people and is a great conversation starter when out walking, after a few weeks i got back in to my local and there is always a cup of Coffey waiting for me ,Best of luck and keep posting

bobbaggio

I've been off it for a while now....For me, I had to always remember the reasons why I quit, if you forget them, and let the good times that were had while drinking come to the fore then you will drink again. Focus on the positive things that have come from not drinking. The trust people now place on you, how reliable you can be now, longer weekends because you arent in bed and in the pub for it, more money etc...

The amount of sugar in drink is ridiculous so for the first while off it, get plenty of fizzy drinks and sweets around, it may not be the drink you are longing for but the sugar.

Regarding the anxiety, it will lessen, but pay attention to it. For instance, when I am really hungry, i almost confuse it with anxiety, so I have to eat right and keep hydrated, or if I am tired, I find myself getting worried so I take a nap. However don't ever let anxiety hold you back. As my brother told me, when you get anxious, pretend like your moses at the red sea.....do you turn and run? Or do you stand your ground?!

I am no expert by any means, but I could write a book on my own personal experience with what helps etc.... If anyone has any question, no matter how silly you think it is, please ask as I can gaurantee you that I have experienced it or know someone who has experienced it before!

ronan45

Am I kidding myself with the old "Sure a few once a week is fine" .I like my few to be a bit of a binge

bobbaggio

I used to hate when people answered these questions like the way I am about to, but that really is something you have to ask yourself.

I have a friend who says "If you have found a life without drink that is happier than the life you had with drink, then why would you go back to the old life?"

It makes sense, but these things arent always logical, but if you are coming on here looking for answers then I presume you are getting serious about quitting or at least somewhere inside realise it may be a problem, so by quitting now, you could be saving yourself years of pain and hangovers!

angelman121

I'm over 10yrs off it could be 15yrs ? stopped counting. I'v no urge to even entertain the idea of having a drink now, I tried to have just one about 7 yrs ago in the company of people I could trust, one turned to two and when everyone went to bed after their two glasses of wine I was searching in someone else's house looking for a bottle, nothing had changed in the years I was off it, it was like I'd never stopped. That put the cork back on the bottle for me. I stopped because I didn't like the stupid abusive loud mouthed dickhead that I turned into with drink on-board, I used to blame the drink but one day the penny dropped and I realised I was making the choice to lift the glass and drink from it and the blame game stopped. I like me now. I love me now. I don't go into where people are drinking there is nothing there for me,that means I haven't seen much of my family in over these yrs, but I'm not the person I used to be and they're still the people they used to be, sometimes when you change everything changes, for me it was for the better.
Happy Every Day
P

9959

xzanti wrote: »

Make a list of the reasons why you wish to stop drinking and read them and add to them daily..

Use them as affirmations as to why you want to free yourself.

Edit: I don't mean reasons as in "Alcohol is bad for your liver" etc

I mean your own personal reasons.. i.e.

1. I will have more money
2. I will respect myself more
3. I will have more energy

And so on and so forth.

4. I shall attempt to earn the respect of loved ones, family and friends, most of whom stuck by me, despite the fact that I made their lives a misery through my drinking.

ladyeaston

brian lamontage wrote: »

iv been drinking now for 10 years. like many young Irish people i started in my teens. but in the last 3 years i have really put my body through hell drinking 6 nite's a week eating crap food and doing very little exercise....iv stopped drinking as of today but i dont know how to keep of it.

I would say enjoy life, go paint shooting, gokarting, hill walking, get on to meet up groups who will open a whole new world to you, plan to go see alaska, etc etc, why drink your life away and make others rich, Hope you are doing good, If you have not stopped drinking, the next pay day just give your wages to the first pub you pass, dont have a drink just put it in the letter box and keep doing that until the light bulb comes on, all the best

Bergkamp 10

I went off it for November, fell off the wagon at the weekend. There was a big night out and since all my mates are big drinkers was bound to happen. I then remembered why I gave it up. Few smart comments and incidents towards me later and I ended up in a bar room brawl. I wasnt completely to blame, but one thing I do know is if I/others were sober it would never have happened.

L.Jenkins

Since I've stopped drinking in 2008 due to a stupid incident, in which I blacked out and woke up in a cop shop, I've had the odd glass of wine. I've never overindulged, but there is temptation.

It's like smoking. You have to make a conscious decision to quit and then remove yourself from those things that make you crave a cigerrette/drink. It's takes effort to set off on the right foot. What you need to do is occupy your mind with something. Reading, Exercise, going to the gym or even get a dog.

Do something that requires your attention, but do something you're interested in. Otherwise, you'll just get PO'd and fall off the wagon again.

I will say, that hardest part in making this decision is cutting off your friends. What you can do, is say it to your friends, that drinking has become a serious concern for you and that you need to look after your health. If they dismiss you or your concerns as being dry, friends or not, they really don't respect you and need to go.

HellFireClub

Well I managed to stay off it for 6 months up until a month ago where I started going out with my mates again and fell into my old habits. I wouldn't consider myself a Shane Mc Gowan type alcoholic, but I have found in my case that the Sunday drinking was seriously fúcking up my ability to get stuff done in work with regard the front end of my week (Mon-Wednesday), and as I'm self employed in a very difficult economic situation, I needed to be on top of my game and was obviously far from that with the Sunday drinking with mates that I'd be at.

When I fell off the wagon a few weeks ago after what I found was a handy enough 6 month stint off the gargle, I still can't work out why I decided to have a few pints, maybe boredom or maybe just wanting to blow off a bit of steam with the lads like I was used to doing before. It certainly wasn't a case of someone twisting my arm or anything like that.

So I'm lining myself up for another attempt at staying off it and am thinking that this time around, I need to take up a hobby or activity of some sort to help fill the void, I don't even know what it'll be as I'm not very sporty and never was, but am determined to get off it again, but I do think this is a hard country to stay sober in, with so much social stuff based around the pub and drinking or else house parties/occasions and drinking.

I'd have to say, I do enjoy a few pints with the lads or a bottle of wine in on my own, but I just can't do the depression/heebie sheebies after any amount of it at all, it wasn't as bad in my 20's but I'm in my mid 30's now and it's the worst thing about drinking, is that fear and hopelessness I feel after a night out now when I'm drinking.

HellFireClub

26going80 wrote: »

Has anybody on this tread stopped because of blacking out and foolish stupid behavour while drinking??

This would have been me a lot of the time, not remembering how I got home or acting the ginnett out with a few drinks. Nothing serious like ending up in a Garda station or causing rows/fights, but still being the subject of conversation the next day in a way that I'd rather not be...

HellFireClub

souls wrote: »

I was off alcohol for 3 months last year and felt much better for it..the only problem was all my friends(close childhood friends) drink.i live on my own so i would get lonely feeling isolated and depressed,it was only a matter of time before i fell off the wagon..

i would consider myself a heavy drinker,and feel its taken its toll on me particularly mentally, I'm not to sure what the neurological effects of heavy drinking are,but when it gets to the stage where you can't leave the house or find it unbearable to talk to people,then things have to change!

I'm 7 days off drink now,and feel like ****!but I'm aware withdrawal is part of the process..and will not give in!

there are some really helpful threads on this which i really could of done with seeing last year,but that was then,and i have found them now so i am grateful for that!

This sounds exactly like me to be honest with ya. Loneliness/boredom were/are huge factors in my drinking, I recall days when I'd have that feeling where I'd be avoiding people and wouldn't get out of bed. A mate of mine who lives down the country said to try the AA, he doesn't drink and is a regular AA participant, I'm thinking of giving that a go this time round as well.

I already have my answer when it comes to whether I want to be a drinker or a non-drinker, it's sticking to the answer is the difficult part at times.

r3nu4l

HellFireClub, have you ever considered taking up tenpin bowling? You may laugh but it worked for me. Not with drinking but with the fact that at one time in my life I had no social outlet, didn't feel like joining my local GAA club and was seriously in danger of getting depressed.

There is method to my madness here. The reason I chose bowling was because I knew it would be social to be in a league but also that I could put a lot of effort into learning how to bowl properly, hook a ball and improve my scores week on week. It would require focus and effort and take my mind off other things going through my head. I loved it.

I am suggesting bowling simply because it is a bit different, yet social and can be done on a weekly basis if you join a league. A league is usually much less expensive than booking a lane for yourself for an hour.

HellFireClub

r3nu4l wrote: »

HellFireClub, have you ever considered taking up tenpin bowling? You may laugh but it worked for me. Not with drinking but with the fact that at one time in my life I had no social outlet, didn't feel like joining my local GAA club and was seriously in danger of getting depressed.

There is method to my madness here. The reason I chose bowling was because I knew it would be social to be in a league but also that I could put a lot of effort into learning how to bowl properly, hook a ball and improve my scores week on week. It would require focus and effort and take my mind off other things going through my head. I loved it.

I am suggesting bowling simply because it is a bit different, yet social and can be done on a weekly basis if you join a league. A league is usually much less expensive than booking a lane for yourself for an hour.

Have to say, its the one sport that actually wrecks my head! I'm really an outdoors guy, am into mountain walking, the wilderness, am a bit of a Bear Gryles type personality, I'd give rugby a try only I couldn't be carrying injuries with being self employed. I'm thinking of taking up canoeing or something like that... But I do think that in order to stay off it, (I had no problem at all for the vast majority of the 6 months I stayed off it until recently), I need to come up with something that engages me, I've a very active mind and get bored very easily.

Darragh801

Hi my name is darragh trying to give up the drink for a while I have been there and done that when it comes to drink Cheltenham coming up now I know it will be hard trying to get past that and I on hols from work as we'll i 10 days off it now

Sunnyisland

Darragh801 wrote: »

Hi my name is darragh trying to give up the drink for a while I have been there and done that when it comes to drink Cheltenham coming up now I know it will be hard trying to get past that and I on hols from work as we'll i 10 days off it now

This was an article I found on LinkedIn....it is totally UNRELATED to AL, but it is as if it were written for us...worth the read:


Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid


We can define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack. It impressed me enough I’d also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

It takes much practice to hone mental strength
It takes much practice to hone mental strength

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?

fergus1001

be a pay your own way college student like me i doubt ill even have the money for a pint on paddies day

Little Lion Woman

I was off the drink for about three weeks and loved it!! Cracked this weekend though as I had a few social events. Am now broke & wrecked

souls

20 days sober:) i now know i can't drink.its not the 3rd,10th or 20th drink thats the one too many!its the very first one!! I've tried to convince myself i can have one..but alas i can't.

angelman121

souls wrote: »

20 days sober:) i now know i can't drink.its not the 3rd,10th or 20th drink thats the one too many!its the very first one!! I've tried to convince myself i can have one..but alas i can't.

Good for you well done, its ALCOHOL that's the problem not the amount of it.

Edward9

In my experience of breaking the duck you just have to stop. There will be hellful days but time will ease the pressure

souls

last night was hell!for some reason i was overcome with cravings and an urge to drink,so i ran up stairs put on me shorts,runners,night vis jacket and went out running!ran a solid hour and came home sweating and drained but feeling revived and no desire to drink. my ma looked at me with a puzzled look and was like what are ya doing?(it was 11 by the time i got home),i just turned to her and said this is me trying harder! everyday is a fight,but i can look back on yesterday and see who came out on top! keep going everyone!

brian lamontage

brian lamontage wrote: »

iv stopped drinking as of today but i dont know how to keep of it.

Well the first and possibly most important thing you have to know is you can not just give up such a big part of your life and just "keep off it".

You have taken a part of your life and just ripped it out. There is now a HOLE in your life. You have to fill that hole. If you do not fill that hole then it will fill itself in..... as nature abhors a vacuum.... and it will do it with.... you guessed it.... drink.

So you are doomed to failure from the start.

But do not despair. You have made the first amazing step that too many people never make. You have realised you have an issue you need to give up. And that realization is the hardest thing you will do on the journey you WANT to make.

What you need to do now is find something to put into that hole..... something that doesnt have you just sitting around trying not to drink. And what that thing is is entirely up to you and what gets your blood pumping.

Paulyk36

Hi my name is Paul and I need to give up drink for the sake of my health and family, Iam not a chronic but Iam a binge drinker , I gave it up for 8 monthes last year but went back on as I was getting married but this time it's going to be harder , I done the meetings once but didn't liked them , has anyone any suggestions or ideas that they used to stay of it .
Thanks paul

Paulyk36

souls wrote: »

20 days sober:) i now know i can't drink.its not the 3rd,10th or 20th drink thats the one too many!its the very first one!! I've tried to convince myself i can have one..but alas i can't.

How are you doing now , are you still off the drink?

angelman121

Paulyk36 wrote: »

Hi my name is Paul and I need to give up drink for the sake of my health and family, Iam not a chronic but Iam a binge drinker , I gave it up for 8 monthes last year but went back on as I was getting married but this time it's going to be harder , I done the meetings once but didn't liked them , has anyone any suggestions or ideas that they used to stay of it .
Thanks paul

You say you went back on the drink as you were getting married, this is a reason, if you want to give up drinking you will need to change your mind about the reasons you use to allow yourself to drink, getting married seems like a good reason, but so can it's Friday, or it's after 12, or I've nothing else to do, or I deserve one for getting out of bed. If you can tell yourself you have stopped drinking and there is no reason good enough or powerful enough to make you change your mind. pre-empt the situations and reasons that you could accept as a good reason in your mind and resolve yourself to be strong in the face of a moment of weakness, expect one side of yourself to be in conflict with another side of yourself, like a new self, old self struggle, because that's where the battle will be won, it's not the drink that has the power, it's you, the power is in the choice you make.

Stopping anything is difficult as we are creatures of habit, and mental preparation is vital, as is finding something else to fill the weak moments and time we spent doing what we are giving up or stopping, so get yourself something interesting to do to distract yourself. That’s where some find the meetings helpful (though I never went to any myself as I gave up with my partner and we supported each other).

It's not an easy road but nothing worthwhile ever is, one thing that really helped me was the idea of self-respect, the old me didn't have any and the new me did, and I liked the new me better that the old me and the respect that I had/have for the new me grew stronger by the day, this is the strength I used day by day to help and encourage me to keep saying NO to the reasons I used to say yes to. And I started meditating too.

Be Strong
P

spice bag

Great advice on these threads, a lot of the advice makes perfect sense. I read here a lot, just have difficulty putting it in to practice, come Friday I will justify a few drinks to unwind, then all bets are off until Monday morning. Rinse and repeat unfortunately. Keep up the good work all.

spice bag

I hope it's ok to put my thoughts here.
Mulling this over today, I know what I have to do. I know the consequences of continuing the way I am. I try to heed all the advice here. It is like standing at the edge of a diving board not being able to take the plunge.

spice bag

So here's Friday on the way. Almost scares me, but this week I will be strong, have put a plan in place. Hopefully I can post on Monday re my first alcohol free weekend in a long time.