Secret I've kept coming back to haunt me

LegacyUser

Hi guys,
looking for some advice here

this is quite a long story so I guess I'll start at the beginning...
many,many years ago when I was in my mid-teens I got my first P.C.
at the time the family didn't have a computer, and since I had gotten the first one I occasionally had to share it with others in my family.
one night I noticed that in the waste paper bin was an A4 page of text,literally torn into pieces the size of a stamp,so I guess my curious mind got the better of me and I sat down and pieced it back together...

what I read horrified me,I didn't want to believe.

my Sister had written a letter to my cousin (who had just been divorced by his first wife) saying how she was glad his life was in ruins,and that she was glad he was now suffering like he had made her suffer.there was no real detail to the letter but it alluded to something pretty horrific that must have happened that had deeply affected her life.
being the youngest child and still very much innocent I didn't know what to do with this bombshell,to be honest I think to try and rationalise it in my own head I convinced myself it was only a story (my sister is a bit of a dreamer and we have always slagged her saying she has a knack for creating drama) so I shrugged it off
I completely buried my head in the sand
...queue many years later and to my shame I'd almost erased the memory completely,it just wasn't something I dwelled on,until today...

My sister has been living with,and fathered a couple of kids by,a complete drunken ****wit of a man.
for years,it was always rocky:on again off again(depending on his mental state at the time)
he's been in and out of psychiatric care for a while to deal with his addictions but so far it hasn't worked.he's been getting worse and quit his job
earlier this year she left him for good,got a barring order and took the kids with her.
unluckly he lives quite close to my mams

last night while I was out he showed up at my mams trying to take the kids while totally hammered(my sister was in work)
he threatened my brother and tried to get into a scrap with him,thankfully my brother has more sense than that-so he closed the door in his face
instead he stood outside shouting abuse at them through the front door.

apparently during his rambling,drunken rant he said my sister had been raped by my brother (which I 100% disbelieve),and was ranting how she'd aborted his kid (this is news to all of us (it really shocked my mother I think.)
but my mother also said that the name of my cousin from the letter came up,and that he said "ask _ _ _ what's his story"and that he knew all about our family secrets etc
but by the sounds of it he was so locked that it didn't make any sense to them at all.
now my mother knows full well that my brother has nothing to do with anything like that
she said it to my sister and apparently she disregarded it as a drunken rant,to pay no mind and so both my brother and mother put the whole thing down to a drunken rant/horse****.

So while the whole family are up in arms about this idiots actions (guards were called etc),
I can't stop thinking about that letter because sadly I think it's true.
I think that he was so pissed that he couldn't find the right words to make a complete sentence,but I am starting to think that my cousin did it.



...I'm completely at a loss as to what to do here,any advice?

pastorbarrett

This is an especially difficult situation for all concerned- I feel for you. No doubt you're all already doing it, but on a practical level you need to be there as much as possible for your sister and the kids throughout this difficult time. God knows it's not always straightforward and easy to do, but pulling together as a family will ease the burden for all concerned.

As for the abuses that may have occurred, I think they need to be addressed with your sister. Exactly how is difficult to determine. My first port of call would be to contact an organization like 'one in four' and solicit some opinions and expertise from them. They offer family support, counseling etc.

I wish you every strength during this difficult time.

Sleepy

Maybe just say to her privately that her ex's ranting got you to thinking that maybe there's no smoke without fire and let her know that she can talk to you about it if something did happen?

It's about all you can do here OP. You're not supposed to know what you know, offer your sister the opportunity to confide in you about it and help her through it if that's what she wants or simply keep schtum about it all if that's what she wants. Keep an eye on the cousin however, don't leave your own kids (or nieces/nephews) alone in his company. Incestuous abuse is far more common in this country than any of us would like to admit.