Moved to Ireland because of a woman, now she dumped and I realized I have no friends.

SwissK

Hello,

I'm 28 years old. I was living in Ireland for a while before made some friends, but then left the country. All the friends I had before also left the country or we simply did not stay in contact over the years. Ever since I got back 1.5 years ago, I only spent time with the woman I was seeing and her friends. She was the reason I moved back to Ireland. We were living together ever since I got back.
She recently dumped me in a quite horrible way going from one day talking about marriage to dumping me for another guy she only met 2 weeks ago and already talking about marrying him... ouch! Anyway, I'm trying to get myself out of this misery, already moved out of her place.

I realized that the entire 1.5 years I only spent with her and her friends that she introduced me to. For obvious reasons those friends are now only hanging out with her and I can't really join them any more.
I didnt make any friends at work because I started up my own internet business when I got back and all I have is a 1 person office in Dublin Smithfield, so I didnt make any friends via work.

I would consider myself sociable and also not the worst looking guy, it's just I really never thought about that I only made friends with her friends ever since I came back.
So I wonder, how do people in Dublin make friends if for example they just moved to Ireland?

I have to be honest, being dumped in a cruel way, living in a country that you moved to because of your ex, and realizing all the friends you made are gone with the break up, can be quite devastating. Especially when going through a break up everyone needs a friend, and I find it very hard to deal with this my self. I also find it awkward to go to a pub or club by myself.

I would really like to make some new friends. Is there a forum here on boards.ie where people new to ireland meet up or something similar?

Ickle Magoo

Hey there,

We have Regional Forums for any geographically specific questions. You could also try any forum that covers one of your interests and head along to one of the meets/beers they have.

Other places to look for groups/events/activities would be google, local classifieds, local shop/dr/etc noticeboards and of course just taking a wander around your locale and checking out where/when the pub quizzes, darts night, five-a-side soccer matches, etc are on.

All the best OP - and sorry to hear about your break up.

biddybops

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Hey there,

We have Regional Forums for any geographically specific questions. You could also try any forum that covers one of your interests and head along to one of the meets/beers they have.

Other places to look for groups/events/activities would be google, local classifieds, local shop/dr/etc noticeboards and of course just taking a wander around your locale and checking out where/when the pub quizzes, darts night, five-a-side soccer matches, etc are on.

All the best OP - and sorry to hear about your break up.

Count your blessings! You could be posting here saying you are married only a couple of months and she has found someone else.
Get yourself out there and have a bit of fun.
I think after hours are having a social soon, get yourself along there and enjoy life a bit.

purplepapillon

Aww OP I'm sorry to hear about this.

I'll throw it in there, but sometimes there are people who maybe you have grown apart from (i.e. your friends here before you left and returned) and while you haven't contacted them in the meantime, could appreciate if you did so now. I have friends in lots of places that I haven't seen, emailed or talked to in yonks, but I know if I met again, we would pick up where we left off. I have done this with friends, and it doesn't make them any less a "good friend" because of it. I have shared some of the best times of my life with such friends, and time, geography, lack of contact, being busy, does not change that.


"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere."

Best wishes OP

LittleBook

What Ickle said, there are communities/groups here on Boards, depending on your interests you can join a club, take a class, slowly but surely build up your own group of friends.

SwissK wrote: »

I have to be honest, being dumped in a cruel way, living in a country that you moved to because of your ex, and realizing all the friends you made are gone with the break up, can be quite devastating. Especially when going through a break up everyone needs a friend, and I find it very hard to deal with this my self.

Can I just say, as awful as all that sounds, you seem to be coping extremely well and focusing on what you need to do to improve your situation. You can and will build a life of your own here and, evenutally, meet someone who is right for you. Good for you and good luck!!

Emme

Hi SwissK, sorry to hear your story. The good news is that Dublin is full of lovely single women so you should have no problem getting out there again and finding somebody new.

In the meantime you might be better to join clubs and make new friends. Try www.meetup.com - it has a number of clubs in Dublin with Irish people and people of different nationalities. They do regular coffee and brunch meetups on a Saturday and Sunday along with lots of other activities. I'd advise you to join asap and get yourself to a coffee meetup on Saturday or a brunch meetup on Sunday morning.

Good luck.

Herrick

I second Emme, meetup.com is a great one. Made even better by the fact your in Dublin so there are TONS of different interest groups. Even ones specifically made for people new in Dublin to make new friends.

Emme

Herrick wrote: »

I second Emme, meetup.com is a great one. Made even better by the fact your in Dublin so there are TONS of different interest groups. Even ones specifically made for people new in Dublin to make new friends.

And for international people in Dublin. OP, join meetup now and do something with one of the groups at the weekend. You'll make lots of new friends!

CinammonGirl

Sorry to hear about your breakup OP, sounds like you are going through the mill a bit
Some good ideas there on making new friends.
On the work front, have you thought about office sharing rather than being on your own in an office? There seem to be a number of cooperative, office-sharing initiatives springing up in Dublin. If you do a search for "co-working" for example you will see a few options. It just means that you are not so isolated during the day and could also be an opportunity to meet new people.

Best of luck - you WILL get through this!

missyb

All of the above, meetup.com is brilliant to meet new people. Im sorry to hear about your break up, I think in time you will realise you had a lucky escape by the sounds of it, the best of luck

SwissK

Wow, thanks everyone for the kind words I guess I will give that meetup.com a try.
I also moved into a nice apartment in Smithfield on wednesday. Sharing with 2 others, this will hopefully also help to make friends.

I will also join a gym here in Smithfield, might be a good way to socialise to a certain extent as well.

Funny enough, I've been living in many different apartment buildings over the past 8 years, but never really met any of the neighbours. Yesterday when I left the apartment and locked the door, at the same time my neighbour also left her apartment. She came over to my door and said she meant to introduce herself as she only just moved here from the States. We had a 3 min small talk while getting out of the building, but definitely brightened up my day

CinammonGirl wrote: »

On the work front, have you thought about office sharing rather than being on your own in an office? There seem to be a number of cooperative, office-sharing initiatives springing up in Dublin. If you do a search for "co-working" for example you will see a few options. It just means that you are not so isolated during the day and could also be an opportunity to meet new people.
!

Yes I have thought about that, but when it comes to my work, I really need my private space so I can focus.