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Can you be depressed and not realise it?

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  • 23-08-2012 4:33pm
    #1
    Whippersnapper
    Registered Users Posts: 598 ✭✭✭


    I suffered with severe depression about 7 years ago during a traumatic time in my life. I was prescribed medication for about a year and thankfully got through it.

    My long-term relationship ended suddenly last week and I it blind-sided me. To me, we were great together. However, in the last few days I've been looking at my role and I have come to the realisation that I haven't been genuinely HAPPY in maybe two years or more. I would go through the motions most days, every day was just to get home and have a cup of tea with my OH and just relax. I put it down to a long commute and strange work hours for both of us and that it would pass in time. I couldn't get out of bed, I was tired all the time, couldn't concentrate on much and was unable to make any decisions. But, I NEVER felt despair or sadness which is what I felt 7 years ago.

    But now I'm thinking that nothing really made me happy, everything was an opportunity for distraction and nothing more. I used to withdraw when I saw my OH enjoying themselves while I'm beside them, me thinking to myself that there must be something wrong with me.

    I feel a huge relief in realising this but I also feel very sad that this may have caused the end of what could have been a wonderful relationship.

    Anyway, accepting the end of the relationship has meant that I've been able to realise this and I'm thankful for that. I need to focus on myself for the next while and find that happiness again.


    So, can you be depressed without realising it?


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    #2
    Odysseus
    Registered Users Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    Yes as humans we are great at fooling ourselves. If you have questions about your mental/emotional state contact a profession, see your GP, psychotherapist or psychologist. We are often the last to notice what is going on for us, so seeing sopmeone will give you the time and space to see what the story is. Best of luck with it.


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    #3
    Whippersnapper
    Registered Users Posts: 598 ✭✭✭Whippersnapper


    Thank you. I thought from experiencing depression in the past that I would recognise it again. I didn't really think about the different forms and levels it could take. I was in deep despair the first time around and I thought only if it got that bad again I would know I was depressed. It's a major revelation and I can't believe I went through the last couple of years with this without considering it could be the problem.

    I'm going to make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow.


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    #4
    Odysseus
    Registered Users Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    Well the main focus should be your on top of it now, whatever it is. I don't actually know whether your depressed or not, but I do know how strong denial can be.


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    #5
    Whippersnapper
    Registered Users Posts: 598 ✭✭✭Whippersnapper


    I'm struggling to remember times in the last two years where I truly enjoyed myself. If anything it's been just going through the motions with the hope that it is all just temporary. I should have been so much happier than I was.


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    #6
    mathepac
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,991 ✭✭✭mathepac


    OP I'd encourage you to re-engage with the team that treated you in the past and to perhaps review the dis-engagement process from your perspective. What were your expectations at that time?

    I can't help but feel that this expectation of "happiness" you have is unrealistic. For me happiness is an outcome, the result of certain moons aligning for me for a period. It is not a state of being for me anymore than being permanently sad is.

    For a different view of depression, if in fact that is what you have currently, maybe take a look at this book available in public libraries and in paperback.


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    #7
    celticcrash
    Registered Users Posts: 849 ✭✭✭celticcrash


    A lot of people with undiagnosised depression will self medicate through alcohol or gambling or some other thing to escape themselves.
    The sad thing is that they may never properly be diagnosised and go on to live a hard life.


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    #8
    Whippersnapper
    Registered Users Posts: 598 ✭✭✭Whippersnapper


    mathepac wrote: »
    OP I'd encourage you to re-engage with the team that treated you in the past and to perhaps review the dis-engagement process from your perspective. What were your expectations at that time?

    I can't help but feel that this expectation of "happiness" you have is unrealistic. For me happiness is an outcome, the result of certain moons aligning for me for a period. It is not a state of being for me anymore than being permanently sad is.

    For a different view of depression, if in fact that is what you have currently, maybe take a look at this book available in public libraries and in paperback.

    I don't expect to be happy and everything to be perfect all the time. I know things aren't perfect but I would still expect to have a sense of comfort and positivity in myself more often than not. When you go on trips with people or go out socialising and none of it affects you, you aren't having fun or feeling happy. You are there physically but emotionally and mentally you are everywhere else. Or nowhere. I can think back to a number of times where I was actually having fun and I would be doing well to reach the figure 10.

    I'm just existing every day waiting for something to happen.


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