very lost with life-could do with advice

Starr27

I'm not sure why I am writing this post, but I have been feeling really lost with life over the last few months. I don't know if anyone has been, and come through this, but I woudn't mind hearing people's advice.

I've been going through a bad patch as I say for a good few months now., everything is just falling apart, and no matter what i do, it's not good enough to fix it. My relationship is going through some serious problems, I am seeing a nasty side to my bf which was never there before, I miss the man I fell in love with, he is also questioning our future together. I feel I am just giving and giving, but things are not getting better, and i am left with nothing but uncertainty around the relationship.

I have been trying to buy a house for yrs now, saving etc but yet again another house sale has fallen through. My friends say what's for you wont pass you etc. but i am really beginning to wonder.

All i really wanted in life was to have a life with my bf, have children and be happy together. I have done the whole college and career thing, which i dont regret in the slightest. But I do wonder why marriage and children come so easily to others. My best friend just recently had her 2nd baby, and all she does is complain about motherhood etc., I understand and appreciate that it is a full time job, but sometimes i want to shout at her how lucky she is to have those children. Its funny in some ways because she says she would love my life, but I would love hers!

I really am just lost with what to actually do with my life, and am fairly depressed too, i try to keep to the glass half full mantra, but my energy is just gone, and the everyday tasks are just wearing me out. I dont just want my life to be about a career, that's not what i ever really intended. Ever see that film Groundhog day - kinda reflects how i feel, and I am wonder what is the point to it all, i mean really!

What I want to know is, do you believe whats for you wont pass you, and that there actually is a path we take in life? Or are we just randomly wandering through life?

Thoughts appreciated.

Starr27

gugleguy

<quote>I am seeing a nasty side to my bf which was never there before, </quote> Look after yourself - Look after Number 1.

Starr27

i've realised i am stuck in a rut. its not like i am sitting at home doing nothing, i literally am on the go the whole time just to keep my mind off things, but its exhausting. i am just wondering why it is that i am not at the stage in life where i can go to my own home after work, to the man that i was meant to build a life with. i really dont want to feel like this for much longer but i am lost for direction, what the hell am i meant to do with my life from here on out. Seems to me to be a lot of time to fill

s08t

Hi Starr27. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Previously quoted by Starr27: 'Its funny in some ways because she says she would love my life, but I would love hers!'. Yes we would love someone elses life when our own isnt working out the way we wish.

I think there is a path set out for each of us, some with more unluck than others. But I think there are 2 paths u cud take: one thats, thinking negative and just fed up and cant try anymore cos whats the point. Or one that is, thinking positive, going to get everything I want in my life: husband, children. I know its hard when every door is being shut in your face: house etc. but u really have to keep positive and keep trying.

And ur BF, if hes not the man you fell in love with, maybe hes not the man u want to spend ur life with. But keeping trying with the relationship and im sure all will work out.

Starr27

thanks for that. i take your points, i just have this awful dread that i am going to end up alone. I used to have a zest for life, lots of ambitions, things to do. now it just seems there is nothing. with regards to my bf and I, he literally was the man of my dreams, and things were great for yrs, but now its as if i am dealing with a stranger, a cruel one too. i just want to old bf back. we had plans, a house, children etc. now i am left wondering what to do now. i dont want to lose faith with life, but i literally feel as if i am walking round with the weight of world on my shoulders, but i cant shake it off. I get up in the morning with the attitude its a new day etc but the horrible feeling in my stomach is still there, and sometimes i find myself crying without realising it if that makes sense.

I've never been through this before, I've a lot of respect for people who manage difficult relationships and life crisis as a result!