Work Life Balance as a parent in Dublin

quad_red

Hi folks,

Just looking for some insight into how people in Dublin achieve a good work/life balance as a parent when choosing where to live?

I think allot of friends bought in the boom without necessarily considering what sort of life they would live in the future, when their lives changed and they'd kids. I suppose many didn't see they had a choice. They got on the ladder any way they could.

Myself, my wife and our baby boy are blow ins from opposite ends of the country. We've no family in Dublin but our jobs (and the general economy) mean that Dublin is our only option for the foreseeable future. We live in a rented house close enough to Dublin city centre and our jobs (half an hour commute). It's fine but being brutally honest it's not in an area where we would want to raise children. Now I know mentioning the word 'middle class' gets the class warriors out in force but we are both from small towns and were lucky enough to genuinely grow up without allot of the problems we see around us in our area. I don't want my child growing up exposed to this crap and want him to have access to the education and opportunities we had growing up.

Our little man is in a creche in the city centre. It's a really lovely creche, something we were lucky to find. But it's becoming harder on us as he gets older and really thrives when he's with us at the weekend, full time. Plus, if we try for a second child the cost of childcare become seriously prohibitive.

But it seems like we are left with three divergent options

1) Buy a house in a good 'safe' middle class area with good schools but be loaded down with a big mortgage (I don't care what people say about house prices, they are still massive) which will require both of us to work full time and hence our child goes to a child minder after school and spends summer holidays in a nursery.

What sort of life is that?

2) Buy a house in a good 'safe' middle class area with good schools that's more affordable but further out. This means a bigger commute, meaning less time with our baby in the morning and evening.

3) Buy a house in a 'less safe' area with more uncertain schools. Enjoy a better work/life balance but worry more about potential future issues.

We don't have an extravagant lifestyle, we have saved hard over the last few years. But it seems like the social choices required to live the life we would like to live require financial choices designed to ensure that we cannot live the life we want to live.

Have people on here made similar choices? How have they achieved a balance? Are they happy they moved further out and accepted the commute? Do they regret it and wish they'd moved closer to where they worked?

Quad

Moonbeam

I sometimes wonder if it is possible to have the balance.
We wanted to be near Dublin city for our jobs but also wanted to be in a nice community with everything within walking distance and good schools.
We decided leaving Dublin for Maynooth was the best idea and have not regretted it at all.

quad_red

What's your commute like, Moonbeam?

Do both you and partner work? Does the commute affect how long you see your kids during weekdays?

Did ye choose Maynooth based on a family/friend connection or just because it suited best?

Diapason

We're in bracket 1) above. Usual story, bought during the boom, up to our oxthers in negative equity, change of job situation for me means it's impossible to get by on only one salary as things stand. It's not ideal, BUT we're very happy with the creche, all the neighbourhood kids are lovely, there are lots of good local schools, and I would have no qualms about our kid(s?) growing up there. I'm hoping that as the years progress we'll somehow be able to make better arrangements about spending time with the kids, especially during school holidays. Our little girl is only 11 months at the moment, but I worry about what things will be like when she's 5, 8, 10, etc. I hate the idea that she'll spend every school holiday in a creche. It bothers me even more than the necessity of having her looked after all day as a baby.

I have some friends who are in situation 3) and they're sufficiently unhappy that they're moving back in with one set of parents to try to put together some capital to allow them to move. Obviously everyone's experience is different, but I know I would struggle to raise kids where they are.

Best of luck with whatever decision you make, it's not easy.

Chuchu

Can I include an option 4? We are renting close to Dublin city in a great area: crèche, school and park /outdoor fascilities all super and commute for both of us is perfect.... But we live in fear of being given notice to move if our landlords want to sell knowing the banks won't give us the money to buy... They would have given us double the amount four years ago. At the moment we are very happy day to day and are taking each one as it comes knowing that sadly some of our peers are in dire straits. But we could be too old to get a mortgage by the time the banks are willing to give us one

Hannibal Smith

I think I can safely say we both hate where we live..and its down to nothing more than snobbery...we live in a nice estate, but with surrounding bad areas....if we wanted to live in a nice area all we could afford is a bad area with surrounding good areas...if you get me?

As it is, our neighbours both sides are lovely *touch wood*....which is a big reason to stay. The down side is its a kind of through road for a lot of traffic so they boys won't be able to play outside like we did...it'll have to be playdates etc.

We were both an hour's commute at least from where we worked. Which was ok when we had only one. Now we have two, I gave up work for 3 reasons...1...we couldn't afford 2 creche fees, 2...with two kids the likelihood of needing extra time off for sick kids was doubled so I wouldn't be a very reliable employee...3....work was too far away from creche if I needed to leave to collect a sick one.

When we bought our house we bought it with having kids in mind...we thought we would have been able to trade up at some point though, hut not now.

Like I say, we went for the good neighbourhood with the surrounding bad area, because it is a lovely estate and very nice to come home to

BostonB

Stay renting then you have the option to move to try different things. Nothing holding you to any area.

Seems to me you know where you want to live, (further out in quieter more affordable locations) but don't want to do the commute.

Therefore I would suggest that moving job, or even working partially at home might be options to consider. My commute is 30~60 mins, which is limit of what I consider ok long term. But I can cycle it, if I like, (takes the same time) which makes a big difference.

Sleepy

We'd be option 4 as well. No bank would touch us for a mortgage so we're renting in as good an area as we can afford. We could probably afford more luxuries, holidays and material things for the kids if we rented elsewhere but we're getting by on a single salary as two little ones makes childcare unaffordable for us at the moment. Hopefully this'll change a bit next year as the youngest is starting playschool this year.

Then it'll simply be a matter of save, save, save for a deposit. We've been keeping a close eye on the market to get an idea of places we could conceivably afford to buy at some point in the future e.g. Malahide would be out of our price range but Feltrim (right next to it and has little to separate it bar the address.) may not if we got the right house

quad_red

Thanks for all the feedback folks.

I think it actually has made things a bit clearer

BostonB wrote: »

Seems to me you know where you want to live, (further out in quieter more affordable locations) but don't want to do the commute.

I think that's pretty much it. We're gonna really try out a few commutes to various areas over the next few weeks, see what it's like.

Daisy M

I think you need to actually experience the commute before you commit, would you consider renting further out for a while to see if this suits. I understand 2 parents working full time would be hard but you have got to ask even if you bought somewhere cheaper would the reduction in mortgage cost really be enough for one of you to give up work. Has either of you considered using some of your parental leave, maybe doing a 4 day week? By the time you take the lesser cost of child care and less tax into account it might not make much difference to your finances.

Also before you know it the children will be at school and need less childcare arrangements. Hopefully they will go to collage and if they are living at home in commute of collages it will be more affordable for you.

movingsucks

Sleepy wrote:

Then it'll simply be a matter of save, save, save for a deposit. We've been keeping a close eye on the market to get an idea of places we could conceivably afford to buy at some point in the future e.g. Malahide would be out of our price range but Feltrim (right next to it and has little to separate it bar the address.) may not if we got the right house

We were in the same position, renting in Portmarnock - looking at Kinsealy/Feltrim to buy one day.
However what put us off was to get anywhere realistically you have to drive.
Part of my quality of life requirment is I'd like to be able to walk places with my kids, the shops, school if possible, their friends houses, restaurant/pub, DART etc. So in that sense there's a big difference between Portmarnock/Malahide and Kinsealy/Feltrim at least the parts of them that are affordable. The country roads aren't safe for walking (in my opinion ) too much traffic going to Swords.

Those are just a few things that would be important to me in the work/life balance ... But then I went a bit mad and moved to Wexford anyway.