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Bulimia Recovery..........should I take offence?

  • 20-08-2012 03:56PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm not going to go in to great detail, I've been suffering with bulimia for over 10 years, it's gotten totally ridiculous and unmanageable and I have started attended meetings and am going in to a residential treatment centre in a few weeks.

    I had been in denial about a lot of things and i've personally found it very helpful to open up about my problem to my friends. I have also been seeing a guy the last 8 months, I really liked him but much as he claimed to "like me back" he also said he couldn't get emotionally involved with anyone and had asked me to wait till he got his head together - it was a weird situation that didn't really help my bulimia and it was a big step for me to come clean to him about my problem (I'd gotten a bit manic but probably no more than any girl bulimic or not would have in the weird on/off dynamic we had) Anyway, I told him and he was very nice and understanding, I got a lil insecure and he reassured me, I apologised for the crazy texts in the run up to me telling him as this was all happening whilst i was deciding what treatment to get etc....then I didn't contact him for a few days and a week ago I got a text saying he was hoping I was feeling better, I said I was (I am) but I was a lil embarrassed, he said there was no need for that and then randomly told me he was going to be busy for 10 days as he had some family visiting from Germany and hopefully the weather would be nice. I said I would keep my fingers crossed that they would get sun.....and that was it. No word since.

    I haven't been on to him, I know he said he will be busy but for the last 8 months we've spoken at least every other day. Now I feel like he purposely contacted me basically asking me not to contact him for 10 days and that's really awful after what I told him. Is he a bastard or have I brought this on myself? I'm moving on, don't get me wrong but I think I would just be so compassionate if someone trusted me with information like that....Anyway, im on day 2 of abstinence from my bulimia which is a greater achievement than I ever could have wished for 3 weeks ago so this isn't going to affect my recovery, I just can't believe he would do this and wonder if maybe there's an explanation


Comments

  • #2
    Gooner111
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 116 ✭✭Gooner111


    Good for you working on your recovery. I hope it goes brilliantly for you.

    As to the guy... I am unclear whether you two are actually a couple or not?

    'I really liked him but much as he claimed to "like me back" he also said he couldn't get emotionally involved with anyone and had asked me to wait till he got his head together'..... sounds like he has made it clear that he has his own issues to sort out and is going to put himself first. Though asking you to wait while he sorts himself out isn't fair on you. While he is concentrating on sorting himself out he probably isn't ready for a relationship. But for me if he really wanted you then he would try work on his own issues while continuing to be with you. If you two are together then he should be concerned/checking up regularly while your in recovery.


  • #3
    edellc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,787 ✭✭✭edellc


    Op your focus should be on you and not worrying about this guy, yes you told him your deepest darkest secret and he was sympathetic and from what you said of him he has behaved true to who he seems to be. He has also been up front and honest regarding the next ten days so take him at his word leave him deal with his family and in ten days send him a text saying you hope it all went well and if the weather holds up mention that too, keep it light nothing serious or heavy.

    If it turns out he is just avoiding you well then your better off without as your recovery is what is important and getting yourself well and healthy and once you are happy then happiness finds you. If it turns out he really did have family over then great you can carry on as you where but you have to put you first and that means you have to be selfish in what is best for you and he may not like that, please dont let a relationship hinder your well being as there is plenty more living to be done by you

    peace and love op x


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