Alcohol & Going Out

LegacyUser

Hi everyone

First off can I say I'm not a big drinker, just when I'm out and that usually isn't that often, lucky once a month if possible. Also I don't drink heavy, never more than tipsy.

I'm a fella of 23 years.

Anyway I'm from a small town and I've found over the last year maybe two I usually dread being invited out. It's not that I'm afraid or talking to people in fact once I'm out I'm happy

What I realized today is I think a lot of it has to do is with travel arrangements and my confidence or ability to converse with people when drinking.

As I said small town, here is how it usually goes. Get a lift into town and drink for an hour or two with friends in the pub. Then get a taxi/minibus to the next small town which happens to have a club. When the club closes at 2, we can usually end up waiting anywhere from an hour to three hours for a way home! Then when you finally get the taxi, you can spend an hour going all over the place dropping people home and your nearly last off. Not to mention having to make small talk with the local pissheads who do nothing but cause aggro in the bus anyway.

So I feel reason one is the comfort of having my own way there and home, I mean it's only like €5 petrol compared to €15/€20 for a taxi!

But the main reason and I guess the ones I want others advice from. Maybe it's the fact I'm getting older and hopefully more mature. But I realized that I actually am better at talking to people when sober? I don't mean when drinking I'm pissed and slur words or anything buts its like I'm not as sharp conversation wise? Maybe even a little that drink makes me shyer?

I just wondered cause I've always seen people get more confident with drink?

I mean I'm kinda shy in regards to approaching girls but to be honest drinking doesn't help me much in that regard either and I kinda feel at the moment I'm be more confident of chatting up a girl with a clear head, you know? I feel I'd be able to think of things to say on the spot better and that.

As it stands I dread having to go out cause of the above and don't want to end up neving wanting to go out you know. I think that by making travel easier on myself and cutting out the drink I'd be far more up for heading out for a few chats and laughs.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Anyone ever like me?

I don't really understand the problem, OP. If I'm going out to a local not in dublin, I'll drive and not drink. It's cheaper and I've no problem talking with people when sober. Why not just do that?

LegacyUser

OP here. My problem is does anyone else feel that drinking impedes their ability to talk and does it make them more shy? I feel strange as it always seem to be for most it makes them more confident rather than quieter.

I also want peoples opinions on whether I'll seem strange for wanting to drive and not drink at all. I mean practically all my socializing will mean I'll be driving and drinking at all. Which is fine by me, but a lot of Irish people seem suspicious if your not drinking.

Big Bag of Chips

If you are happy to drive rather than drink then go for it.
I'm not a big drinker, and I hate the hassle of waiting around for hours to get a few miles home, especially when I've probably only had about 3 drinks!

I don't find that drinking impedes me socially, but I do find that by not drinking I am very intollerant of people who are drunk!

Also - if you become 'the driver', be prepared to drive half way round the country anyway dropping off everyone who asks you for a lift!

DaisyD2

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

If you are happy to drive rather than drink then go for it.
I'm not a big drinker, and I hate the hassle of waiting around for hours to get a few miles home, especially when I've probably only had about 3 drinks!

I don't find that drinking impedes me socially, but I do find that by not drinking I am very intollerant of people who are drunk!

Also - if you become 'the driver', be prepared to drive half way round the country anyway dropping off everyone who asks you for a lift!

I'm similar to Bag of Chips except not only am I intolerant of very drunk people I find They are the ones more intolerant of non-drinkers ranging from "don't trust ya if your not drinking (too)" to "yer no bleedin fun if yer not drinkin"!

As I've gotten older I've weeded out a lot of these types tbh cos I can't be arsed. True friends don't/won't care if you drink or not but be wary of turning into everyones best friend cos they need a lift home - my family are the worst now for just presuming I'll be driving & they'll all be picked/dropped where ever they want to go lol

& as for shyness, this will sound odd but part of reason I was never into getting drunk was I can be quite outgoing (ie Loud ) & found myself clamming up with drink as I was afraid of being ott if that makes sense.

Try it a couple of times & nevermind what others say/think :-)

daisybelle2008

OP, the best thing you can do for yourself is stop caring so much what other people think of you. Be confident and happy in your own decisions.
Don't let yourself be so insecure that you modify your behaviour in case people are 'suspicious' of you. Don't feel the need to apologise or explain yourself to anyone.
Why do you care so much what people think? It is a fast track to unhappiness and insecurity. Know and like yourself enough that you don't even consider what people may think when you are doing something for yourself.