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Trouble making friends

  • 20-08-2012 11:21am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm posting this as an unreg as I'm known on here and fee people might be quick to judge me based on that.

    I'm a bloke in my mid 20's and I really only have 1 friend. I am in a club but I still don't really socalise outside of it. I have tried but people have their own friends that they prefer to go out with.
    I do work, but since I work so far from where I live its near impossible to socalise outside of work. Plus the people in work are generally not intrested in socalising with work collegues.
    I'd love to be one of those people that is out at least once in the week, but I don't know enough people to do that.
    I'm quite a shy person so talking to people I don't know is a big deal, and when most people(especially women) blow me off when I try I kind of lose hope.

    Before anyone tells me to join another club, there aren't any more that I'm intrested in near me. I'm from a fairly small town.

    Does anyone have any constructive advice?


Comments

  • #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Hey there,

    If you are a regular on Boards then there must be forums of interest to you - do they have any meets/Beers on you could attend?

    I appreciate there are no other groups which interest you and you don't live in a big city but I think if you want to increase your social circle you might have to bite the bullet and see what's available that you could get involved in for the sake of making friends rather than following a hobby - or even look at what interest group you could start up yourself.

    I think the key to making friends is to have a wide enough pool of people you are in regular contact with so you increase your chances of clicking with some and forming a friendship...after that it's a case of continually pushing yourself out of your natural comfort zone in order to be sociable and strike up friendships - and keep your chin up...ime making friends as an adult is a bit like fishing, you have to keep casting your line and eventually you get a nibble.

    All the best. :cool:


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    They do, but they are usually held too far away from me as there are few/no members in my area.

    I suppose I could do that, but will I have much to talk about if I'm at something I'm not intrested in?
    Where could I look to get the best idea of what clubs are out there? Local paper?
    Thats all I've been looking at to date.
    I'm thinking of going to the gym anyway, do people frown upon someone trying to talk to them there?

    I've tried to start up something myself before, but no one else was intrested. I thought it was the most likley out of everything to get some intrest.


  • #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    friendless wrote: »
    They do, but they are usually held too far away from me as there are few/no members in my area.

    Have you checked your regional forum? Perhaps ask if a beers meet can be held closer to your area or try to arrange one for your area?
    friendless wrote: »
    I suppose I could do that, but will I have much to talk about if I'm at something I'm not intrested in?
    Where could I look to get the best idea of what clubs are out there? Local paper?
    Thats all I've been looking at to date.
    I'm thinking of going to the gym anyway, do people frown upon someone trying to talk to them there?

    I wasn't really suggesting you force yourself to do something you know you have absolutely no interest in, more try something you've never thought of having/previously had an interest in, iykwim? :)

    You can get info on local groups/events via google, facebook, local classifieds, dr's/gym/college/shop noticeboards, etc etc.

    I'm not sure the gym is the best place to get chatting - most people I know head to the gym to do their work out rather than as a social occasion...does the gym have other classes on? Boxing? Martial arts? Badminton? Soccer? That kind of thing is more likely to be somewhere you can strike up a conversation.
    friendless wrote: »
    I've tried to start up something myself before, but no one else was intrested. I thought it was the most likley out of everything to get some intrest.

    Maybe have a look some of the other things you considered and ask around to see what would generate some interest? The internet is a fantastic resource for pooling together the most unlikely of people. It's likely there are a whole heap of people that share interests with you and are in the same boat friends-wise - it's just a question of finding/making contact with them.

    Best of luck!


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