Does he like me?

Healthis

There is a guy who works in a shop in my local town. I have never noticed him before as he hasn't served me and as it is a busy shop it has plenty of staff. In the last couple of weeks he has being very friendly with me, I assumed he was like this with all customers but noticed while he was nice to others he was exceptionally nice to me.

One day I actually forgot to pay for petrol, when I called a week later, he told me and showed me the receipt and he could remember that I called to the shop twice the day I forgot to pay, he said the boss would have called the guards only he told him that he knew me well and that it was a genuine mistake, he found the whole thing hilarious and told me not to worry about it. Another day I went in and they had changed the shop around and I couldn't find the milk, I didn't make him aware of this, but he had noticed and came out from behind the counter to fetch the milk for me despite the counter being miles away. His whole face lights up when he sees me. He pulls these very excitable facial expressions when in my presence but he doesn't do this with others.

Today I was in the shop and he looked me up and down and told me that it was weird seeing me dressed in normal clothes as I am normally in a pair of shorts. (I usually go in there before football training or gym) He asked me why I was always dressed that way and was I training for something. I explained and he gave me a huge smile and I went about my way. There have being numerous other small things but it has gone out of my head.

Sure this guy could just be friendly, I don't even know if he is gay, he might not even be He is a lovely guy, great personality, very good looking too. What do you guys reckon, would be nice to meet someone after the last disaster

brokenice

i think so!

baby and crumble

I'm no great shakes at telling when people are into me. But yeah he likes you. For sure.

corked

go for it! Life is too short!

1ZRed

Go for it man, he wants you

bleepp

I work in a shop like the one you talked about and the daily coming and going of annoying customers is nothing to smile about....so either he is an exceptionally nice guy and just loves his job or he's after you
Id go with the latter.

jaydoxx

That poor lad must be going insane trying to get you to make a move, get down there and put him out of his misery:p

Healthis

Thanks for your input guys, looks good

However I'm not going to do anything just yet, obviously I would be mortified if it turned out he was just being over nice, maybe I should point out he is not Irish (polish) and perhaps they tend to be more friendly?

Also last week I was getting top up for my phone, he printed it out and handed it to me and I headed for the door, only for him to call me back as he handed me a blank piece of paper for a laugh!! I cracked a joke with him one day and he was almost in tears laughing, infact it wasn't even that funny and the other guy working behind the counter just gave him that 'it wasn't that funny look'.

I'l see how it goes...

Aard

Love these threads.

Conor30

The fact he's Polish would have me more nervous about asking him out but life's too short. Ask him. I do think he's into you...Let us know how you get on!!

Wish this happened to me....haha

1ZRed

Conor30 wrote: »

The fact he's Polish would have me more nervous about asking him out

Ffs what does his nationality have to do with anything? 

@Healthis Did you not learn anything when coming out? Fuck what anyone thinks and fuck wasting time. 

Bite the bullet and do it sooner rather than later. Wasting time dwelling on what might happen is pointless when all you have to do is ask him out! C'mon man, stop teasing the poor lad in your shorts any longer :P

LegacyUser

1ZRed wrote: »

Ffs what does his nationality have to do with anything? 

I'd say he just meant to say that Poland's more conservative about being gay than Ireland that's all.Best of luck OP!

Conor30

1ZRed wrote: »

Ffs what does his nationality have to do with anything? 

@Healthis Did you not learn anything when coming out? Fuck what anyone thinks and fuck wasting time. 

Bite the bullet and do it sooner rather than later. Wasting time dwelling on what might happen is pointless when all you have to do is ask him out! C'mon man, stop teasing the poor lad in your shorts any longer :P

I'm just being honest. Shoot me. Nothing to do with Polish per se. Just, as the OP said, sometimes it's harder to know when a non-Irish person is just being friendly and also the fact that Polish guys can often be hot and homophobic in equal measures. I'm entitled to my opinion, kid. Forever picking a fight, aren't you? Go look for a fight somewhere else.

1ZRed

Conor30 wrote: »

I'm just being honest. Shoot me. Nothing to do with Polish per se. Just, as the OP said, sometimes it's harder to know when a non-Irish person is just being friendly and also the fact that Polish guys can often be hot and homophobic in equal measures. I'm entitled to my opinion, kid. Forever picking a fight, aren't you? Go look for a fight somewhere else.

I didn't mean that in an aggressive way at all. I have a habit of casually swearing and it's not always easy to get that across through text.
But guys would be stupid to call me kid. Can't say I like that too much.

Yeah he could be homophobic but what's the worst that he could do? Give him a look of pure wtf and tone down the friendliness? Hardly a loss if you know nothing was going to happen with him. And besides, no guy would be this friendly for no reason, and even if he turned out straight, he's hardly going to change into a homophobic gay basher. Give the Polish guy some credit. Whenever I meet a guy that's non Irish I don't stop to think how homophobic he could be based on his country. It's a bit pointless when I would rather find out for myself before I jump to conclusions and base things on stereotypes and generalisations.

jaydoxx

I would say his cultural heritage is less likely to be an influence on how he acts when he clearly seems to have a firm grasp on Irish banter. Now I'm no expert when it comes to Polish societal norms, but I do have a few asian friends who were very touchy feely when they first came to Ireland but promptly realised that in Ireland, it's not the norm to hold hands with male friends etc. Of course they soon stopped. I would imagine a Polish person would do the same.

Of course it's possible that he doesn't realise he's flirting, a problem I also have. That is until the other person is two inches from my face of course:p

ongarboy

Healthis wrote: »

Thanks for your input guys, looks good

However I'm not going to do anything just yet, obviously I would be mortified if it turned out he was just being over nice, maybe I should point out he is not Irish (polish) and perhaps they tend to be more friendly?

Also last week I was getting top up for my phone, he printed it out and handed it to me and I headed for the door, only for him to call me back as he handed me a blank piece of paper for a laugh!! I cracked a joke with him one day and he was almost in tears laughing, infact it wasn't even that funny and the other guy working behind the counter just gave him that 'it wasn't that funny look'.

I'l see how it goes...

Why not make some small talk about what his weekend social plans are if you are in the shop later this week (ie where does he normally head out to in town) and throw in that you might be heading to ...(naming one of the well known gay venues yourself )to guage reaction. He may give more clues this way about what way inclined he is.

It definitely does not sound like just platonic banter (cultural or social differences aside) so I think you're in there!

yagguy

This thread reminds me of those TV commericials with a sequel.

dub45

Have you asked him if he visits boards.ie?

corked

i was at a wedding recently, same thing happened with a flirty barman, heaps of looks, smiles, eyes etc.

he was working the next morning again and I gave him my number - i'm usually the shy type but feck it.

Life is too short!

Annasopra

corked wrote: »

i was at a wedding recently, same thing happened with a flirty barman, heaps of looks, smiles, eyes etc.

he was working the next morning again and I gave him my number - i'm usually the shy type but feck it.

Life is too short!

Did he ring you?

thechosen

Did he ring you???

Don't give us half a story...:)

corked

mango salsa wrote: »

Did he ring you?

thechosen wrote: »

Did he ring you???

Don't give us half a story...:)

Lol Sorry! I did'nt want to hog the thread!

Ya he texted me - appologised for being flirty but has a BF. Thought I was cute and funny. Told me he'll give me a shout when he is in Cork next for a coffee.

Delighted that I did that as I'm often shy about making the first move.

brokenice

i've a feeling things are going to get a little ...... ah huh ah huh baby!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phql0ar-m_0

:pac:

Healthis

Many thanks for your input everyone

I've come to the conclusion that he is trying to form a rapport with me as a customer. I forgot to mention that at times he asks me 'would I like anything else' like the other staff do so I reckon his behaviour is purely to benefit business. I had a very helpful PM from someone who works in a shop and they pointed this out while also outlining that it could well be flirty but it was a hard one to call.

I haven't being in the shop since, so I don't really think I will pay much attention to him in future. Let him on!

Thanks again.

jaydoxx

It won't hurt to ask, will it?:p

YOLO etc

1ZRed

Healthis wrote: »

Many thanks for your input everyone

I've come to the conclusion that he is trying to form a rapport with me as a customer. I forgot to mention that at times he asks me 'would I like anything else' like the other staff do so I reckon his behaviour is purely to benefit business. I had a very helpful PM from someone who works in a shop and they pointed this out while also outlining that it could well be flirty but it was a hard one to call.

I haven't being in the shop since, so I don't really think I will pay much attention to him in future. Let him on!

Thanks again.

I think you should still go for it. Assumptions are great but they don't lead you anywhere or are garanteeded to be true for specific situations.
Honestly, you'll never know till you try and I think there's a nice thrill in getting to the point instead of spending time thinking it over. I rang up the college a few days ago to try and sort out my indecisiveness towards some courses and the head of one of the departments told me "mulling things over and overanalysing achieves nothing, but wastes time and opportunities". I think that's very true and I made the plunge.

Yeah you've gotten your advice about what might happen but they're just estimates. I'd say go for it. Even if he says no or if he's straight don't be worried if it's awkward, you just asked him out and had balls to do it, so if you kept coming back confident as ever and perfectly comfortable, he's going to see you in a confident light which would do away with any sort of tension or awkwardness. I know I hold a lot of respect for someone with the guts and follow through to do that.

It's entirely up to you but I think it would be pretty cool to persue it further instead of holding back, you have absolutely zero to lose.

necromundia

Dude, if you have put this much thought into the possible signs that he is displaying he is mad for you. I always say that if I think someone is into me, they more than likely are into me.

surenow

I hate to sound like a negative nelly but I have worked with Eastern European guys etc and they can be overly nice plus it is harder to judge their sexuality. Ironically they tend to be pretty homophobic so err on the side of caution. It is nice to see the support in here but still would not want you to get embarrassed man.

jaydoxx

^^ My goodness, how is a man to live without fear of any sort of rejection and the subsequent moment of embarrassment? surenow have you never chatted someone up and been rejected?:p

the_syco

Healthis wrote: »

Today I was in the shop and he looked me up and down and told me that it was weird seeing me dressed in normal clothes as I am normally in a pair of shorts.

Does he work on Friday/Saturday? Go in dressed well, and if/when he comments on your clothes, say that you're going to the George/local gay bar (if you don't live near Dublin), and ask (innocently, haha) what's he up to himself?

jabarrett35

I would go in to the shop when it's not busy and asking him a few openend questions like when he came to Ireland and did come with friends, he may say he came with his GF and that will answer all your what ifs. I've also noticed that Eastern Europeans can be overly friendly which probably says more about how unfriendly we have become. I had a similar situation but I known someone said something to him and he bearly speaks to me now.

Sir Pompous Righteousness

Moral of the story: Just because a man is very nice to you, doesn't mean he's gay.

1ZRed

Sir Pompous Righteousness wrote: »

Moral of the story: Just because a man is very nice to you, doesn't mean he's gay.

And how will you ever know if you don't ask

Intouch9

This thread is just epic. Really brightened up my morning! OP - glad you made a decision...

ehmjay

I wanted a happy ending.

Healthis

Update: The guy is straight!! Seen him shopping with his 'girlfriend' and baby in Tesco the other day and it is his child, checked it out and all. So there!!! Don't know what the hell he was about! I don't go into the shop anymore. Also just seen that a similar incident occured with another poster and hey the guy was polish too. Polish guys are obviously just over friendly to everyone what a pity they fail to realise that they are wrecking someones head in the process!!

thenormallad22

Lol it's mad this post could have been written about me I've the same experience ..kinda freaky

brokenice

same as...what's the deal? oh well, at least there are friendly people out there!:pac:

hide2013

if you train for sports and go to gym odds are that you are an attractive fit looking man. and the shorts probably help you look that way!! it is a fact that good looking men make friends and succeed in work etc more than ugly guys. so it is not surprising that a man might want to make a friend of you without any thought of sex at all. think of it in reverse - you are more likely to want to be a friend with a good looking girl than with an overweight ugly bag. you will put more effort to being charming with the good looker even though you have zero sexual interest in her. so maybe that is all that is happening. so why not take advantage? go to the shop, be friendly with him, talk to him. in effect, play with him. if he is hot there is a certain thrill to be got from close contact with a hot straight man.
my own impression re Poles has been that they are above average hot men but also above average gay. do more gay Poles emigrate than straight poles? do fewer ties make it easier for them to go abroad? and do gay Poles tend to marry and have a family due to conservative attitudes in Poland? dont be too sure he is not open to some "hows your father" - you might if you lead him on properly persuade him to try a wrestling match with you!

Aard

^^^The thread that keeps on giving :pac:

1ZRed

hide2013 wrote: »

if you train for sports and go to gym odds are that you are an attractive fit looking man. and the shorts probably help you look that way!! it is a fact that good looking men make friends and succeed in work etc more than ugly guys. so it is not surprising that a man might want to make a friend of you without any thought of sex at all. think of it in reverse - you are more likely to want to be a friend with a good looking girl than with an overweight ugly bag. you will put more effort to being charming with the good looker even though you have zero sexual interest in her. so maybe that is all that is happening. so why not take advantage? go to the shop, be friendly with him, talk to him. in effect, play with him. if he is hot there is a certain thrill to be got from close contact with a hot straight man.
my own impression re Poles has been that they are above average hot men but also above average gay. do more gay Poles emigrate than straight poles? do fewer ties make it easier for them to go abroad? and do gay Poles tend to marry and have a family due to conservative attitudes in Poland? dont be too sure he is not open to some "hows your father" - you might if you lead him on properly persuade him to try a wrestling match with you!

This post gave me brain cancer

hide2013

terminal and incurable? will send flowers