Separated woman tries to date

AddictedToLove

Apologies! This situation description isnt as short as I'd hoped it would be. Click back if you dont want to read a long story. I want responses, but if I dont get any because my post is too long, at least I'll have cyber-vented!

My husband and I have been separated for 8 months now. I've recently been interested in another man. I have an evening job in which I see this same man (the incredibly mysterious handsome and intelligent manager) every Tuesday. For the past couple of months, he and I were having really nice flirty conversations. At the end of July, we finally decided to exchange numbers and get together outside of work. He's very busy and spends almost 12 hours at work every night so I let him pick the date and time. He asked "is it weird that Im excited? I cant wait. I feel like a kid on Christmas eve."

I went to his place, he cooked me dinner, made me drinks, played great records, and we talked about everything under the sun. We have way too much in common, same sign, same tendencies, same everything, so it made me proceed with caution. He asked about my marital status, and many other "serious" topics that I wasnt prepared to discuss. He genuinely wanted to know what I was going through. So I opened up, regretfully. We had an intense make-out session, we watched a movie on the couch. Drank some more. Kissed some more. All the couples-type of things you should never do while on a first date, we did em anyway.


We spent the rest of night, AND the next morning, AND early afternoon talking and passionately kissing. No sex. I tried to push for it, but he he kept assuring me there was no need to rush even though he wanted to dive in-so to speak. (Either way, it was an amazing connection for a first date. Prior to my husband, I'd dated many different types of men. This one had me smitten. Had to keep it under wraps.) Upon leaving, he said we'd get together in a few days. I went home feeling confused, but I let it go.

After a few days of no texts from him, I (again regretfully but playfully) texted to ask if I'd have to wait till Tuesday to see him. Then the curve ball gets thrown...

He says he's not feeling social, he's gloomy, self-loathing, and shouldnt be around anyone until this emo stage passes. I said "I completely understand what it means when a man says he 'needs time' so no worries. (C'mon we all know what that usually means)

He tells me "thats exactly what I dont want you to think, and its not about seeing someone else either, I feel that needs to be said." I told him that wasnt my concern, and that he needed to tell me if I should let him alone. He says "no, love on me when you see me, and text me, I will text you too. I just need some time to work out my issues, but I love spending time with you, and want to have more of it. Till then, I become a hermit." I told him right away that I realize he's busy, and I've got issues to work out too, so its okay if we maintain a casual realtionship by talking and seeing each other whenever we are available. No muss, no fuss. He said that was perfect.

I sent a couple of texts a few days later, but his responses were short, so I stopped all together.

Since then, 2 weeks have passed. When I see him, we say hello and make small talk, nothing more. Saw him last night, told him I've been feeling much better about my situation and that I have a new lease on life. He tells me he's still in his "gloomy" state. When we hugged good-bye, I say "lets get together again, sooner than later. Call me." I winked. He says "Okay, yeah we can help each other heal." Not sure what to make of that.

Mind you, he has not texted or called for 2 weeks. Neither have I. After last night, I assumed if he wanted to pursue me, or if his self-issues had been resolved, he'd have contacted me. He has not.

I want to text. Since we're casual, and there shouldnt be any rules. But its safe to say I should to let it be, right?

Taltos

OP - as you already have this open in RI I am closing it from this forum.

RI is the correct location. Per site rules please do not create the same thread in multiple forums - it is viewed as spamming can can result in your account being banned.

Thanks
Taltos