Sex in a new 'relationship'

LegacyUser

Hi there

Just looking for a bit of advice.

I met a guy a few weeks ago and we spent two nights together.

We didn't have sex but engaged in foreplay. The reason it even went that far was because due to circumstances surrounding our meeting I didn't expect to ever see him again.

However, it turns out I did see him again and that night ended in us going back to mine where, again, we didn't have sex but engaged in foreplay. The reason we didn't have sex that time was that I was unable to because of my monthly visit.

However, I have since realised that I actually like this guy a lot and I get the impression that he really quite likes me too.

Now that I am considering this being more than what I had initially presumed was a casual one thing fling, I have decided that I would rather hold out on the sex for a while.

My reason for this is simply that I don't want to rush what could be a new relationship and I would like to take my time with it all and enjoy the early, fun, new stage. It has nothing to do with not being ready - I would love to have sex with him!! But I just think that too often we rush into new relationships and truth be told, I would like to be courted a little first. It's not about wanting him to respect me. I'm fairly sure that he does regardless of whether or not I've slept with him.

The thing is, I have shared a bed with this guy already and although we haven't had sex, we've done everything else. I'm going on a date with him next weekend and because of the distance between us it will mean I have to stay at his place.

Now, I'm going to explain to him that I don't want to rush the sex bit and I know by him that he will be totally fine about it. But my question to you guys is - Am I being a bit ridiculous, sharing a bed with him, engaging in foreplay and then getting on my moral high horse and refusing to have sex?? Does this seem a little nonsensical?

I'm not going to do something I don't want to do (although I do actually want to do it, I just feel it would be a little more 'romantic' if I left it a bit longer) but also don't want to come off all teenagerish or like I can't make up my mind and that I'm blowing hot and cold with him.

I hope this makes sense to those of you reading it....... it does in my head!!!

Sleepy

TBH, yeah, I think you're being a bit silly. You want sex with this guy but seem to be allowing social norms to dictate to you that he should have to chase you more / it's not romantic if you have sex soon in a relationship.

That said, I'm sure if he's a decent bloke he'll have no problem waiting a while if it makes you more comfortable.

saiint

Its up to you
no one will judge you for having sex with him so fast
same thing happened with me and my current gf
first day we met actually
with her now 3 yrs later

but depends if you thinks hes a kwl bloke (some can put on the act) then its entirely up to you

but just dont forget every time youve seen him so far you's have done something
and he knows that, so he knows when he sees you next time something will happen again

just something to think about
if i was you id leave him off the next time like no forplay nothing
then see what he says to you or even if he txts you at all

if he texts you to meet up again well then he likes you
if he doesnt well then he was just a user who thinks you wont give him anything for a while now so he aint waitin

gl

Scanlas The 2nd

If you want to have sex with him have sex with him. Waiting seems a bit contrived when you both want sex.

Ellsbells

I disagree....

I never slept around as i knew after a couple of ONS' that I had, that I was prone to getting emotionally involved after sex.

I think its better to hold off, if you are the same, til you are further into the relationship. there are no guarantees with any relationship but i think you (me) get less hurt if things dont pan out and you havent slept with them.