father not wanting to give up child..

colm_ei

Hey all..

just a quick question here..

I have a child on the way with an ex of mine. We're not going to ever get back together, and therefore she wants to give up the child for adoption.

She wants the child out of her life completely (so there's no way she'll meet up with him/her in future), and so is unwilling to give the child to me to bring up.

I don't want to lose the kid, and am wondering do I have a say in this? If the natural father is very willing to take on the responsibility, do I have any rights at all?

Will the courts prefer to give the child to a well off family ahead of the single father? My financial situation isn't good.. I'm 31, unemployed for almost a year now, living in a bedsit (spending my days volunteering while actively job hunting - but not even getting acknowledgements from those offering positions - so I'm not too confident the situation will improve over the nxt couple months)..

I'm doing all I can atm (the mother won't let me attend the scans - I'm not even sure whether she's going to attend them - don't know if it's a requirement or anything). I'm keeping a diary of my offers of support - and the completely unsupportive replies I get

I'm thinking hopefully my situation will improve in the future, financially, and maybe I'll settle with a girl who'll be there to support me and the child (not talking financial, but a mother figure)..

I've a very loving family to give some support to myself and the kid.. But will any of this help me get guardianship if the mother doesn't want me to take the kid?

Any ideas?? ta

Moonbeam

colm_ei wrote: »

Hey all..

just a quick question here..

I have a child on the way with an ex of mine. We're not going to ever get back together, and therefore she wants to give up the child for adoption.

She wants the child out of her life completely (so there's no way she'll meet up with him/her in future), and so is unwilling to give the child to me to bring up.

I don't want to lose the kid, and am wondering do I have a say in this? If the natural father is very willing to take on the responsibility, do I have any rights at all?

Will the courts prefer to give the child to a well off family ahead of the single father? My financial situation isn't good.. I'm 31, unemployed for almost a year now, living in a bedsit (spending my days volunteering while actively job hunting - but not even getting acknowledgements from those offering positions - so I'm not too confident the situation will improve over the nxt couple months)..

I'm doing all I can atm (the mother won't let me attend the scans - I'm not even sure whether she's going to attend them - don't know if it's a requirement or anything). I'm keeping a diary of my offers of support - and the completely unsupportive replies I get

I'm thinking hopefully my situation will improve in the future, financially, and maybe I'll settle with a girl who'll be there to support me and the child (not talking financial, but a mother figure)..

I've a very loving family to give some support to myself and the kid.. But will any of this help me get guardianship if the mother doesn't want me to take the kid?

Any ideas?? ta

I think you need to talk to a solicitor .
Ring Barnardo's too and see if they can help.

rubysgirl

Talk to the people at CURA. They can give you advice and support about getting custody and raising the child and they can also offer counselling to your ex. It's all free and they're located all over the countryside.

biddybops

rubysgirl wrote: »

Talk to the people at CURA. They can give you advice and support about getting custody and raising the child and they can also offer counselling to your ex. It's all free and they're located all over the countryside.

You need to make an appointment with the free legal aid service straight away. The waiting times are horrendous so do it now.
Write out a description of what has occurred so far in your relationship, keep a copy and give a copy to the solicitor when you get to see one.
Contact any single parents organisation to find out your legal rights and they may be able to refer you on to somebody with the info you are seeking.
Best of luck.

colm_ei

thanks everyone for the advice..

I'll pop into CURA tomorrow, and there's a walk in free legal advice centre I'll pay a visit to on Wednesday..

The_Conductor

Are you listed as the father on the child's birth certificate? If so- your position is a lot stronger than it might otherwise be.

Also- the mother doesn't get to say she wants the child out her life- she never wants to meetup with the child or see him or her walking down the street. Children aren't children forever, and most adopted people will want to find out about their birth families sooner or later- regardless of her thoughts on the matter. She has to think of what happens 18 years down the road when an adopted person makes contact- what does she do then?

OP- I hope you meet with FLAC/CURA and any other agencies who might be able to offer advice and/or support to you. I'd also suggest talking to a community welfare officer- they may not have resources to assist you- but they may be aware of similar cases, and broadly able to suggest possible avenues and outcomes to you.

Cream_crackers

colm_ei wrote: »

thanks everyone for the advice..

I'll pop into CURA tomorrow, and there's a walk in free legal advice centre I'll pay a visit to on Wednesday..

Just wondering if things worked out for you. Were you able to adopt your child? or were there obstacles?

Avasa

Social services will work on whats best for the child. They usually try to keep the child with a family member. You will need to get a paternity test done to prove you are the father. Hopefully it all works out well for the two of you.