Contacting an old girl: how should I do it?

se02orqua5xz9v

Hey,

I had a fling with a girl a long time ago. We hooked up at a party, and I spent the night with her. I thought things were going well, but then she ended it, saying she was not in the right place to see someone.

Recently, I stumbled upon her profile on a dating website. I want to get in touch with her again, as I think there was a connection there.

My question is, should I contact her through the dating website, or should I contact her through a different medium e.g. facebook, text.

If I contact her through the dating website, it may seem like I'm only doing so because I know she is, quote, "looking to date someone". If I contact her through facebook or whatever, she may be like, "what the hell is this guy contacting me on this after so long?"

And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do it either way, so there's little point in you all saying, "just don't contact her, move on", so I'd ask you not to do that.

CarMe

Id do it through the dating site, in a oh fancy seeing you here kinda way rather than on Facebook, i purposely looked you up after all this time.
There's nothing weird about saying it on the site though, good luck

The Big Red Button

Belle Rapping Vessel wrote: »

If I contact her through the dating website, it may seem like I'm only doing so because I know she is, quote, "looking to date someone". If I contact her through facebook or whatever, she may be like, "what the hell is this guy contacting me on this after so long?"

When I was using dating sites, I happened to notice a few profiles of guys I knew through friends etc.

If I ever recognised anyone, I generally sent them a friendly chatty message, just to say hi. Not flirting or anything! I don't think that was weird, and I doubt they did either.

So I think it would be pretty normal if you sent her a message on the dating site, something along the lines of "Fancy meeting you here" etc, bit of general chit-chat. By doing so via the dating site, you're making it easy for the conversation to lead on to flirting/maybe arranging a date. And there's also the advantage that she'll know that you're single (she mightn't be sure if you contact her on Facebook.)

But at the same time, if she's not interested, you're not putting any pressure on her (as long as you keep it cool and chatty, for the first couple of messages at least!)

LegacyUser

I say contact her through facebook- If a guy who I met years ago contacted me randomly through facebook I would pay more heed to it and think it was more genuine as he specifically made the effort to seek me out and contact me.
With the dating site, its less effort and less impressive. Her dating profile already exists. My 2 cents anyway. Plus i never find the 'we met on a dating site' romantic! But then im not really a dating site fan, find it a bit mechanical. Appreciate it works fantastic for some people, its just not for me.

Emme

Contact her through Facebook. Ask her how she is, what she's doing now etc. Don't say that you saw her on the dating site.

Good luck.

tyw3724e

contact through fb, be super casual , say something about what you's both have in common, get the conversation going for a few days and they if you think she's feeling it , ask her out