Depression/anxiety advice

Dev87

Hey everyone. One of my work mates has just revealed to me that he is suffering from depression. He rang me from the hospital and it came as a complete shock to me. He has not been to work in 2 days and this is obviously the reason.

To maybe get better advice, I may give better details. First off this man is of Polish nationality and he is working in a company with 8 other men including myself (all Irish). Now our boss is a bit of a bully towards this man because of his nationality (this man has recently obtained an Irish citizenship) and so basically gives his alot of ****e jobs: cleaning the canteen, cleaning the toilets and basically doing all the donkey work. He has been in the company for 8-9 years and although has asked for a pay rise on many occasions, he has been turned down and remains the least paid member of the team. He is also forced to work overtime and most saturdays. If he refuses, the boss shouts at him and basically tells him to f*** off. And since its a fairly tight knit company, my boss's behaviour has rubbed of on the other workers and basically they treat him like ****. He doesnt want to report our boss to any authority figures as we all live in the same village and this type of action would have a nagative effect on peoples views of this man. I believe all of the above is the main cause of this mans breakdown.

His housemate/girlfriend has gone back to Poland for 5 weeks to visit her family and so this man is alone at this time.

He has seen a doctor this evening, and basically Im the only person who knows that he has had this breakdown. I get on fairly well with the boss and he tends to respect my opinion alot. What I want to know is if I should explain the situation to him in work tomorrow and ask him to take it easy on this man and maybe he will talk to the rest of the workers about it. This may also backfire on me and he may see this man as a weakness and take advantage of it even more.

Also is there anything else I can do to help him. Im thinking of inviting him over for dinner tomorrow and maybe doing a few activities with him over the next few weeks like fishing, going for a run etc,

ANY advice is greatly appreciated!!

bookworms

I would be reluctant to tell your boss, as you have said he would use the information against him.

This chap is reaching out to you for friendship as he has confided in you. All you can do at the minute is to be there for him and help him in any way you can. Just a word of caution, if you are not comfortable in doing this long term, I would not be inclined to get too involved. To start something and find the going gets too hard then suddenly stop support would do more harm than good. You may find some help on www.aware.ie.

Best of luck with this.

Dev87

Thank you for the reply bookworm. I think your right. Maybe I should say nothing. As for helping him out, well realistically, he doesnt have anyone else to help. He doesnt really socialize an awful lot and doesnt seem to have many friends around the place. I wouldnt have considered myself a friend as such but Im probably the only guy in work that would talk to him and treat him with a bit of respect and if I was the first person he could contact about this it only emphasises how lonely this guy must be. I do want to help him out as he is a nice guy and always friendly to everyone but I cant get too involved as I am fairly hectic most evenings. But just to be there for him until his girlfriend gets back.

marann

You sound like a good person, I wonder if there is anyone else in the workplace who might feel the way you do about the way this man is treated but not confident enough to do anything. Maybe you could sound this out without betraying yer man's confidence. If a few people started socialising with him others might start seeing him differently, maybe you could ask someone else along , preferably someone who is not intimidated by this boss guy who sounds like a right a******. Good luck, be careful, MG

banquo

The hospital probably face him some mess which, though they should ultimately work, might make him feel very peculiar at times over the next 2-4 weeks. Maybe call him a few times a day to see how he's getting on, and especially once at night.

Does he have a computer or anything to distract or engage him when he's alone in his home?