Parents passing on addictions to their children?

Zoria

I hope I don't come across as a bit up my behind here, but I was genuinely taken aback by this one this morning. When my one of my children asked me for permission to go to the shop with his friend, I said it was fine so long as he checked back in with me when he was done and not to dilly dally. Afterwards he told me a his friend had bought him a filled roll with sausages (which I was not pleased about), which I estimated to be around €3 or so. His friend is about 7, so I wondered if he had paid that much for my son, what sort of money had he with him. My son told me that he had won €10 on the dogs

Cutting the story short, I know that his parents regularly take him and his sisters to the dogs and they all have a bet, and they give him money to make bets (he calls which dog, they pay). I'm worried that this is reinforcing the idea that gambling is a good idea, considering this is not a one off incident. Of course I can't tell another parent how to bring up their child, I'm just worried about the influence it will have on him in the long term. I wonder, what are everyone elses views on this? Thanks

cynder

Do you do the lotto?

That too is gambling.


Some parents take their kids to the dogs for a bit of fun, family fun..

Some moms go to bingo and their daughter and then their daughter's. More like a tradition then addiction.

I can say my dad was an alcoholic, I am not, yet my brother has his struggles, if he didn't fight it he would end up the same.

Addictions can be genetic.

Zoria

cynder wrote: »

Do you do the lotto?

That too is gambling.

I do, but if I forgot about it for some time I wouldn't care either. What I'm talking about is an addiction to gambling. Maybe I didn't put things into perspective properly here, but the father takes his son regularly to a bookie office and visits to the races are a regular thing from what I understand.

Addictions may be genetic, however my point is that they shouldn't be encouraged either.

cynder

Zoria wrote: »

cynder wrote: »

Do you do the lotto?

That too is gambling.

I do, but if I forgot about it for some time I wouldn't care either. What I'm talking about is an addiction to gambling. Maybe I didn't put things into perspective properly here, but the father takes his son regularly to a bookie office and the visits to the races are a regular thing from what I understand.

Addictions may be genetic, however my worry is that they shouldn't be encouraged either.

Gambling is fine as long as it doesn't become an addiction, this would be where someone is getting into debt to gamble, throwing a small bet once a week is fine as long as the person is not getting into financial difficulty, the dad should explain it too his kid.

There is a big difference between gambling and addictive gambling.

Zoria

cynder wrote: »

Gambling is fine as long as it doesn't become an addiction, this would be where someone is getting into debt to gamble, throwing a small bet once a week is fine as long as the person is not getting into financial difficulty, the dad should explain it too his kid.

You added the last line as an after thought I assume, which I agree with. In the case of an addict I believe not exposing them to their habits in the first place is best, because there is no way that this man and woman have a healthy attitude to gambling.

I might add, that his is a lovely little boy. I had him stay over at my home and he has a very placid nature. He is has breathing problems and is regularly taken to hospital, which made me nervous about keeping him over, but he was a pleasure to have over. It confuses me greatly, because the parenting side of things seems a little "loose" from their angle. Another thing that bothered me was that from about 18 - 24 months their youngest daughter has been allowed to play freely on the street. I thought speaking to them that it may not be the only addiction in the household. My sons friend said that the reason a fire brigade was up recently was because his father was drunk and threw something on the fire setting the sitting room alight. While that was something that worried me greatly at the time, I put it down to momentary drunken stupidity, and counted them lucky that no body was hurt.

I'm simply trying to open a debate on parents thoughts on whether it is the right thing to do to bring children into a world that they are addicted to.

Orion

This isn't a Parenting forum topic as such. As a debate on the rights and wrongs of parents introducing children to gambling this is more suited to Humanities so I'm moving it there.

looksee

I would not think that going to the dogs is a suitable entertainment for a seven year old, it is an adult environment. It is also not a good idea for a child to have that kind of money available to him so casually.

That is just my own feeling though and at least the family is going out as a family. There doesn't seem to be any evidence that there is a gambling addiction involved, just a group of people having an evening out.

There doesn't seem to be any active mistreatment of the children involved, and while I understand this is a thread about gambling, the other aspects of the children's lives mentioned, while irresponsible and not ideal, are not sufficiently disturbing to interfere. I would not have my own child overly involved in the household though.

Going back to the gambling, all you can do OP is try and educate and direct your own child, you cannot influence the other family. It is possible for the friend to influence your child, and you will have to tread carefully not to make it a forbidden and exciting activity.

Zoria

looksee wrote: »

I would not think that going to the dogs is a suitable entertainment for a seven year old, it is an adult environment. It is also not a good idea for a child to have that kind of money available to him so casually.

That is just my own feeling though and at least the family is going out as a family. There doesn't seem to be any evidence that there is a gambling addiction involved, just a group of people having an evening out.

There doesn't seem to be any active mistreatment of the children involved, and while I understand this is a thread about gambling, the other aspects of the children's lives mentioned, while irresponsible and not ideal, are not sufficiently disturbing to interfere. I would not have my own child overly involved in the household though.

Going back to the gambling, all you can do OP is try and educate and direct your own child, you cannot influence the other family. It is possible for the friend to influence your child, and you will have to tread carefully not to make it a forbidden and exciting activity.

Thanks for your reply Looksee, I agree with all with all you've said. Despite the concerns I have for the children, I've never had any intention of saying anything or interfering.


Could a mod please lock this? I meant for this to be a conversation between parents in parenting.