Condom splitting?

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

I am hoping I can get some honest feedback. I am a 22 year old guy currently living in OZ. Last Friday I had sex with a guy for the first time - I really enjoyed it however during sex (whilst I was topping) the condom split, I didn't enjaculate and pulled out straight away, however since then I have been panicking. I have researched HIV etc. and three days afterwards I developed a cold/flu-like symtpms (coughing, sneezing) - none of my housemates have caught this nor my workmates and it has persisted for days now. I know no-one here is allowed give medical advice but I am just seeking some educated opinions on what the chances of catching HIV are with a random partner when you are topping and the condom splits?
I am unable to afford the doctor as of yet - however I am paid on Friday and I am going straight down then.
I am so beside myself with worry. I cannot believe it split, I have had years of information campaigns encouraging safe sex and it is drilled into me to use a condom. I am literally sick with worry.
Has anyone been in a position like this before? I really do appreciate the advice and feedback.

baby and crumble

As you know yourself OP we can't give any medical advice, but i would advise you to see if there's a free gay mens health clinic wherever you are if you're really worried- or even find a doctor that will see you and bill you for the visit.

Rick_

There's no real way of gauging the risk as we don't know your random partner's sexual habits. He may be sleeping with guys randomly before he met you but always used a condom so the risk is low, but if he was having unprotected sex with other guys before you then there's a chance the risk is a lot higher. Like you say, we can't give you medical advice, the best thing to do is to go to your doctor when you get paid and get advice there. Here is a list of all the sexual health clinics in Australia, if any are close to you perhaps go there or phone and ask if they offer a free screening service or find out the costs before going. I imagine most offer cheap or free tests. Also go back again in a few months and get tested again as it can be months afterwards before you can test positive for HIV or have any symptoms.

On a side note, were you using lube? Some lubricants are not designed for sexual activity when using a condom, Vaseline especially is oil based and will weaken the condom causing it to split. In future if you are using lube, look out for good water based ones like KY Jelly or whatever pharmacy you can find over there that sells their own brand lubricant. Just make sure it is water based.

Oh, and try not to worry, I'd say the risk is low for you, as soon as you noticed it split, you pulled out. Just go and get tested and put your mind at rest. Stay safe and make sure you let us know how you got on.

DazMarz

Don't worry so much, OP. It's amazing, but if you worry and fret too much you can make yourself feel ill.

You were being smart and looking after yourself by using a condom, so you can be happy with yourself for that much. The fact that it split is just awfully unlucky.

But at the same time, you pulled out straight away and were cautious. Do get yourself tested and checked out. I'm sure there are free Sexual Health Clinics around your area and even if not, get a doctor who will bill you or try to borrow some money from your friends/housemates. Explain that you need to visit a doctor (you don't have to say exactly what for) and that you're getting paid on Friday and can pay them back then.

As mentioned too, some lubes aren't suitable to be used with condoms; water based lubes only! Others (oil-based ones) weaken the condoms and can cause them to break. Also, use loads of lube. Too little lube can also cause undue stress on the condom and cause it to break.

Please, don't go worrying yourself and driving yourself mad. You did all the right things from the sound of it, but just do what you can to get yourself checked and to put your mind at rest.

oisindoyle

OP I wouldnt think you have anything to worry about.

Firstly you were topping ,i.e. you we re not the one recieving and NO bodily fluids were exchanged.

The risk would be far greater if you were the bottom and someone with HIV came inside you ,that didnt happen ,,,so i would say you are fine

Worry is a huge thing and you can bring on all sorts of symptoms from worrying from getting colds flu to headaches to aches and pains .

Go get yourself checked out anyway as most gay men who are sexually active should do anyway .

Again I would say to you ,,I think you are over worrying .
Good luck :-)

Conor30

OP - how are you getting on now?

I think you have nothing to worry about. However, it might be no harm getting tested anyway. I know it can be done for free in Oz, just as it can be done for free here in Ireland.

L.Jenkins

oisindoyle wrote: »

...The risk would be far greater if you were the bottom and someone with HIV came inside you, that didnt happen...

Is the risk not equal?

Annasopra

oisindoyle wrote: »

OP I wouldnt think you have anything to worry about.

Firstly you were topping ,i.e. you we re not the one recieving and NO bodily fluids were exchanged.

The risk would be far greater if you were the bottom and someone with HIV came inside you ,that didnt happen ,,,so i would say you are fine

Worry is a huge thing and you can bring on all sorts of symptoms from worrying from getting colds flu to headaches to aches and pains .

Go get yourself checked out anyway as most gay men who are sexually active should do anyway .

Again I would say to you ,,I think you are over worrying .
Good luck :-)

Just to point out while bottoming is more risky that topping is also risky behaviour as well and the OP may be at potential risk. I think telling the op he probably has nothing to worry about may be going a little too far considering we don't allow medical advice but also it dismisses potential risks.