Big Expectations

cruasder777

I have had two dates with a lady, both went really well, the second lasted all day Sunday.

We opened up alot to each other, we got talking about sex, she told me she had a high sex drive and had multiple orgasms, also told me stuff she never liked......Some of which I liked, but I never said anything.

She said she could only be with a guy who could give her multiple orgasms and asked me how long I lasted in the bedroom, I just laughed, I said in 43 years no woman has ever asked me that on a date. She then told me about a couple of guys who never came up to the mark ! She also told me how her husband who she divorced had failed her sexually.

She said she last saw a guy for three months but he never went near her sexually.

Although we really get on, she is putting me off her, as shes putting me under pressure, she said we really get on, but the bedroom will be the test.

Im not sure about it all, as her attitude seems so clinical.

I wore a nice shirt when I last saw her, she already started telling me it would look better with the sleeves rolled up a bit and proceeded to do so while I was driving.

She has also commented Im starting to go abit thin on top.

One half of me wants to say, see you later, the other half see what happens.

Shes already sending me texts saying how she really likes me and wants a third date. She left her jacket in my car, she texted saying I would now have to see her again !

Im just not sure.

sReq | uTeK

cruasder777 wrote: »

I have had two dates with a lady, both went really well, the second lasted all day Sunday.

We opened up alot to each other, we got talking about sex, she told me she had a high sex drive and had multiple orgasms, also told me stuff she never liked......Some of which I liked, but I never said anything.

She said she could only be with a guy who could give her multiple orgasms and asked me how long I lasted in the bedroom, I just laughed, I said in 43 years no woman has ever asked me that on a date. She then told me about a couple of guys who never came up to the mark ! She also told me how her husband who she divorced had failed her sexually.

She said she last saw a guy for three months but he never went near her sexually.

Although we really get on, she is putting me off her, as shes putting me under pressure, she said we really get on, but the bedroom will be the test.

Im not sure about it all, as her attitude seems so clinical.

I wore a nice shirt when I last saw her, she already started telling me it would look better with the sleeves rolled up a bit and proceeded to do so while I was driving.

She has also commented Im starting to go abit thin on top.

One half of me wants to say, see you later, the other half see what happens.

Shes already sending me texts saying how she really likes me and wants a third date. She left her jacket in my car, she texted saying I would now have to see her again !

Im just not sure.

Well I can only tell you that if it's like this after 2 dates can you honestly imagine what a future with this woman would be like.

The fact that you are on here at all is evidence enough that you know what needs to be done, get out now while you have no attachment that woman sounds like an absolute nightmare waiting to happen.
E

P. Breathnach

So do you want to be her sex toy?

Because, unless you have misrepresented the character of the conversation, that seems to be what she is looking for. And it seems that what you like in sex differs.

cruasder777

Its difficult, because we got on, on other levels, we also seem to want the same future things etc.

Its just she comes across as pretty demanding, also clinical.

I will have to see her to give her jacket back.

cruasder777

P. Breathnach wrote: »

So do you want to be her sex toy?

Because, unless you have misrepresented the character of the conversation, that seems to be what she is looking for. And it seems that what you like in sex differs.

I get on best with women who are chilled out,her list of sexual demands is turning me off.

It takes time to get to know someone sexually, the likes, dislikes etc.

Expecting me to give her fireworks first time, is turning me off...Especially as I will be judged on it.

As she said, it all comeS down to that.

Its a pity cause we had a really good laugh together etc.

...Maybe I should say to her, her demanding side is turning me off ?

jellygems

cruasder777 wrote: »

I get on best with women who are chilled out,her list of sexual demands is turning me off.

It takes time to get to know someone sexually, the likes, dislikes etc.

Expecting me to give her fireworks first time, is turning me off...Especially as I will be judged on it.

As she said, it all comeS down to that.

Its a pity cause we had a really good laugh together etc.

...Maybe I should say to her, her demanding side is turning me off ?

i dont see why u shouldnt tell her its putting u off maybe then she will cool down

dating is a minefield, i myself havent a clue how to play the game.... but i deffo think honesty is the best policy

dellas1979

jellygems wrote: »

i dont see why u shouldnt tell her its putting u off maybe then she will cool down

I agree to say it to her - it might cool her off, but I dont think it would change the fact that fundamentally she seems a bit demanding/too upfront.

She is "fixing" you already to what she wants/imagines.

I once saw a guy who told me his standards in women were really high - now apparently I hit the "standard" (go me! I think I should have been flattered), but it really turned me off and put alot of pressure on me - to say by the 3rd date I was a bundle of nerves, and a bit annoyed, was an understatement. It really didnt sit with me very well that I was just seen, in this person's eyes, as some kind of thing that had to hit his idea of standards.

Piliger

Hi OP:

Just to look at this from a slightly different point of view - ignore that these 'needs' of hers are sexual and replace them with a selection from a range of other life activities. This lady is clearly some kind of control freak who thinks she can enter a relationship by making demands and requirements about her partner right from the get go. A disastrous and needy and disturbingly aggressive attitude. I have encountered this kind of women on a couple of occasions in my life and however well you get on in other ways ... move on please and find a nice decent caring gal.

cruasder777

Thanks for all the advice.


She texted me at 8, I texted her back, I then had my phone on charge for a couple of hours, in that time I got 4 texts each one demanding to know why I was not texting her back ! Each text getting more aggressive in its tone.

....So I rang back and said it would not work, she started apologising, so I said bye-bye.

.....Lucky escape.......Thank God she does not know my address.


.....Shes demanding I drop her jacket which she left in my car, back to her before the end of the week.

Jeez.



"please and find a nice decent caring gal"

................Wish I could, they seem pretty rare.


.

LegacyUser

This lady sounds like a person who will be hard work - Do this, change this, you better be good in bed.
What does she expect you to do if you are going a bit thin on top?
Also non stop sending texts - she sounds very insecure.
What happens if you start to go out with her - she will become like your shadow.
If you are not with her she will want to know where you are and who your with always.
You have done the right thing in telling her it would not work out.
Send her jacket back by registered post as if she sees you she will ask you why won't you g out with me ect.

Believe me there are some nice decent girls out there you just have to keep looking.

marzic

God she sounds dreadful, a control freak if you ask me! I think you must be having clear doubts, and if your gut feeling is that you dont enjoy the constant critiques, then you should know what you have to do. Just because you find some things attractive about her, shouldnt mitigate against the totally offputting bits.

WumBuster

She sounds a total fruitcake. On the one hand she's saying how she wants a relationship based mainly on sex, but at the same time is already making these emotional demands on top of it. Dont fall for it, stay well clear.

The Big Red Button

God, she sounds awful!

cruasder777 wrote: »

Expecting me to give her fireworks first time, is turning me off...Especially as I will be judged on it.

Sex is such a personal thing to each relationship. You don't know each other's bodies the first time, so quite often there's not going to be fireworks.

Sex is a really important part of a relationship, but a relationship based solely around the sex is never going to last, in my opinion. It should be a case that you're having sex with the person because you like them so much and you want to be with them. NOT that you're with the person because of the great sex.

cruasder777 wrote: »

She texted me at 8, I texted her back, I then had my phone on charge for a couple of hours, in that time I got 4 texts each one demanding to know why I was not texting her back ! Each text getting more aggressive in its tone.

Bullet dodged!! :eek:

hi OP
I guess you've resolved it now, so I'll lock this
if you still need advice on it PM one of us mods

best of luck