26 and still being called "boy"

LegacyUser

I am a 26 year old male. The thing is I have a baby face, and look probably 10 years younger than I am actually am. A lot of people, mostly women refer to me as "boy" (e.g. you're a nice boy etc), and I am readily sick of this. I consider myself a 26 year old adult and as much a man as any other, yet people still refer to me as "boy". Is there any changes I can make to my life/ appearance etc. so that people can finally respect the fact that I am a fully grown man, and not some child. This sort of thing is ok when you are a child or a teenager, but been referred to as a boy when you a 26 year old man going into his late 20's is annoying, and insulting to my intelligence.

ABajaninCork

I wouldn't get too het up about it. My husband's a Corkman, and as you know, everyone's addressed as boy or girl!! He even addresses my 79 yo father as boy. You're lucky that you have a young face that will age well. I would celebrate that fact.

Being a Londoner, we tend to call people boy or girl as well. Nobody takes any notice.

Next time someone addresses you as 'boy' come back at them with a smart crack like 'You just wish you looked like me' or something like that. I'm sure you'll think of something. Or just ignore them.

Don't let them get to you. Good luck!

DazMarz

If you can, grow some facial hair. But this can backfire if it's wispy and you'll look even younger!

But if you can grow some decent looking facial hair, it will work wonders.

WumBuster

I too suffer from the babyface syndrome, Im pushing 30 put still get asked for ID in places!:rolleyes: But i guess its better than looking older than your age. You could try the facial hair route if it suits you.Or wear mature type clothes or haircut. Or you could try and bulk up with some muscle. If your voice is kinda high pitched practice speaking in a deeper voice.

LegacyUser

Hi, I am a woman and in the same situation. I have just turned 25 and started a new job, any time I am asked about what I have been doing for the past few years by my co-workers (general chat) everybody thinks I must just be out of school! Their reaction and how it makes me feel has started to get to me, so much so that I am contemplating just lying and saying that I am younger than I am to anyone else that asks (if I can not avoid the topic completely). It is strange how people would be hesitant to make a comment on your age and looks if you appeared to be older than your years, yet making comments about looking young or like a lad/boy/girl or "babyfaced" is perfectly acceptable? If it effects us then I am sure there are a lot of people out there who get annoyed by it also.

The only advice I can give you is similar to others, maybe grow some facial hair or change your hair style, hair style really has a dramatic effect on the face. The way you dress will have a big impact too. Also, up to a year ago I was very slim (size 6-8), due to a health problem I have put on a stone(now a 10), which has made my face less defined than it was, this extra weight on my face seems to have made a big difference in people thinking I am young, I suppose it is more the "babyface" look. I have babyish enough features as it is (as you more than likely do too). Before putting on the weight I only got told I looked young from time to time,now it seems to be every person I meet. Needless to say I am working on losing that stone again! So I reckon weight has a big impact on it too. Like the previous poster said if you don't have weight to lose then bulking up would probably age you a bit too.

You are not alone in your annoyance but chin up, we will be the ones laughing when we are 40 and have retained 25 year old faces!

All the best

Wompa1

I've got a baby face too, I've got abuse over it on nights out from women. I get ID'd everywhere I go until very recently. My change was just growing a bit of stubble. Sometimes I'd still get the jeers from people about my age but it's easiest just to brush it off.

Badhb

Female or male, regardless of appearance, it is not acceptable to be referred to as boy/girl. After the age of majority.

Unfortunately, it is a practice allowed by women in particular when talking about 'the girls', this is a society thing that is accepted across the board, and recently seems to refer to a group of friends going on a social activity together.

Be very clear that you are not a boy, when someone confers that upon you, state clearly that you are not a boy,but a man and would prefer to be addressed as such.

Sycopat

I am assuming you do not live in waterford/cork or any of the other places where everyone is called 'boy' (or 'girl') by everyone else.

I'll echo the grow facial hair thing. It makes people assume you're older. People assume I'm a lot older when I have a beard, and a little younger than I am when I don't.

Beards are weird. What is essentially a sign of profound laziness is taken as a sign of increased maturity. They're great.

If your facial hair is a bit patchy, even a little stubble should have the desired effect.

professore

Badhb wrote: »

Female or male, regardless of appearance, it is not acceptable to be referred to as boy/girl. After the age of majority.

Unfortunately, it is a practice allowed by women in particular when talking about 'the girls', this is a society thing that is accepted across the board, and recently seems to refer to a group of friends going on a social activity together.

Be very clear that you are not a boy, when someone confers that upon you, state clearly that you are not a boy,but a man and would prefer to be addressed as such.

You definitely need to lighten up. This may seem a huge issue to the op now,.but it's nothing compared to the sh1t life will throw at you.

merlie

Don't think about it too much. It may seem like it is really bad at the age you are now, but you will realise it is a blessing when you get older! I was in the same situation as yourself, when I was in my early 20's people thought I was still at school and doing my junior cert, I just looked too young! But even now people call me 'girl' but I don't mind that at all. I take it as a compliment.

Just be patient with yourself. If you like change your style, dye your hair, wear shoes instead of trainers etc. There is lots you can do.

It is typical though in how you think, most all people want to look older when they are young and older people want to look young!

Good luck!

Danniboo

OP, hope you don't mind me thread crashing a bit. I have the same problem, i'm a 26 yo f. It is so frustrating, sick of being called "cute". Also a relative insists on putting the word "little" before everything when talking to me. I had an argument with my bf before because female friends of his who are 2/3 years younger than me kept patting me on the head and telling me I was cute. I get the whole girl, little girl thing and it drives me mad. My bf is also young looking and some times I feel like we're not taking seriously.

ongarboy

Badhb wrote: »

Female or male, regardless of appearance, it is not acceptable to be referred to as boy/girl. After the age of majority.

Unfortunately, it is a practice allowed by women in particular when talking about 'the girls', this is a society thing that is accepted across the board, and recently seems to refer to a group of friends going on a social activity together.

Be very clear that you are not a boy, when someone confers that upon you, state clearly that you are not a boy,but a man and would prefer to be addressed as such.

I think this advice is a bit extreme too. If you take this defensive stance with people, you will only end up alienating yourself from them as someone who takes things way too seriously and with a misplaced hangup. Taking that approach, does that mean the Irish football squad were highly insulted when Irish fans and the media would say "Come on you boys in green!" Was Cyndi Lauper only referring to 12 year old girls when she sang "Girls just Wanna have fun!" Was the film Bad Boys about young boys getting up to mischief?... Get my drift?

Being called a boy or a girl is not a derogatory term. It's not even about being a complimentary term. It is just another term for distinguishing genders. Obviously, if it is said in a derogatory context, then that is different eg "you're only a boy, what would you know" You will demonstrate far more "manly" or "grown up" mannerisms by learning to acquire confidence so that being called a boy stops bothering you.

LegacyUser

I wouldn't worry OP. I use the term girl out of habit, even when people are a lot older than me. I get upset when someone refers to be as a lady or woman, makes me feel old! Don't wish you looked older, at 26 everyone else is going to start wishing they look younger soon and you'll be laughing then

Seanchai

jkasdf2124 wrote: »

I am a 26 year old male. The thing is I have a baby face, and look probably 10 years younger than I am actually am. A lot of people, mostly women refer to me as "boy" (e.g. you're a nice boy etc), and I am readily sick of this. I consider myself a 26 year old adult and as much a man as any other, yet people still refer to me as "boy". Is there any changes I can make to my life/ appearance etc. so that people can finally respect the fact that I am a fully grown man, and not some child. This sort of thing is ok when you are a child or a teenager, but been referred to as a boy when you a 26 year old man going into his late 20's is annoying, and insulting to my intelligence.

Are you in Cork? My mother was still being called "girl" when she was 50 there!
I wouldn't let it get me down. Someday, if you're lucky, you'll be an old ragged wrinkly man. Enjoy looking younger than your years - for God's sake the "make me look younger than my years" industry is worth billions. You've got a freebie!

This is a great "problem" to have. Think of all those teenage girls who want to look older, and all these older women who want to look younger. The thinking is nuts. Enjoy looking young and have the foresight to realise its benefits now rather than realise them when you start looking old!