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GF issues

  • 05-08-2012 12:07pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi there
    Some help and advice please.

    I've been seeing my foreign GF for 2 years now. She is in the yr behind me in college and also estranged from her family for various reasons. We've been getting on fine give or take.

    The big problem is that she is not good at making friends it seems. She is also a little depressed and has been taking SSRIs for anxiety, but her doc does think she can stop, but she is withdrawing very slowly from them for fear of rebound symptoms

    Currently she has moved away on placement and is lonely. She is 90mins drive away, and i cant go there regularly as im so busy with college etc

    If i do go there, or she comes here its basically a question of what to do to make her happy/occupied.

    Im a mans man i suppose. I play hurling, rugby, golf, cycle, surf, lift weights, drink a few beers with my mates once a fortnight etc and thats it. Im happy with that. I've no money for anything else and even if i did, that would be it anyway

    She shops. That seems to be it.

    She has gotten into a couple of fights (in one she was right, in the other i dont know) with some of her class mates which has seen her excluded from a few outings her class have done which pissed her off a lot and given her a poor opinion of almost all the class. So her social circle is very small, just me really.


    So what do i do? I like going out with her. Prob my longest term GF at this stage. Thinking about a long term future here, but this pessimism is a real drag. Im struggling here to be a good boyfriend. I cant be a counsillor and babysitter too!!

    Probably if she was at home in her own city things would be a lot different...

    Any help or advice much appreciated...


Comments

  • #2
    bmwguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭bmwguy


    OP I feel I am in a similar situation as you, I am dating/ in a relationship with a foreign girl (although I'm sure lads dating Irish girls have similar stories) for 6 months that has serious baggage from her own country, she came here to get away from them but cant escape them all for the moment (mainly to do with money owed) and is suffering serious depression over it until things are put right. She trusts me completely and tells me all her secrets/past in an effort to be honest with me. However, I'm her only real friend here and when she is down I am the babysitter/therapist. She is feeling down about half the time.Its the first time I've been in this situation and it is difficult. She wont let me help with money as she is so independent, even though I could clear her debts fairly easily, which means this will last a few more months at least. I asked myself was she worth it, and 100 per cent yes she is. You have to ask the same question and then you get your answer about what to do. I would do anything for this girl. She has met my friends but really only wants to spend time with me. I too play sports, like a beer with the lads but my priorities are changing, I spend most of my time with her as I know things will be different soon and even with the depression / worry she makes me unbelievably happy. She picked up on my pessimism before, so now I just provide the strength for both of us because she doesnt have it at the moment. Be positive with her, help her through her tough times if she is worth it to you. If its too much for you, let her go. Only you can weigh up the good against the bad. Best of luck.


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