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Fifty shades generator

  • 02-08-2012 2:24pm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭

    Fantastic scenes

    “It was bliss having his bugger king rammed inside me again; stuffing my pink velvet sausage wallet with cucumber just didn't get my spunk dungeon gushing like it used to. The unrelenting orgasms from his purple beaver buster pounding my cum dumpster made me come so hard, I began sweating like a whore in church. I awoke the next morning with my south mouth still haemorrhaging. I thought it was over but his cumtree had other ideas. The feeling of his steamin' semen leaching down my throat got my spaff flowing quicker than greased **** off a shiny shovel. Inserting a 10 inch purple battery-operated monster into my ground zero grotto got me flowing flange custard faster than greased **** off a shiny shovel.”


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky

    Flange-custard? That word is now mine.

  • Registered Users Posts: 904 ✭✭✭MetalDog

    Still a better love story than Twilight . . . . . :D

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy

    I'm pretty sure that's how it was written.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer

    As wet as a spastic's chin!


  • Registered Users Posts: 81,225 ✭✭✭✭biko

    From AH.

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Leiva

    "Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his one-eyed milkman made my sex wee seep like Wayne Rooney's dick in an OAP home. The unrelenting orgasms from his cervix cigar thrusting my birth cannon made me come so hard, I began sweating like a dyslexic on Countdown. When he removed his meaty member from my turd cutter, he was pleasantly surprised to see a colon cobra staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to devour the corn-eyed butt snake off his piss pipe. I can't wait to suck the magician's wax from his love muscle. By now, my chlamydia canal was haemorrhaging like Adele waiting for Greggs to open.":pac:

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,485 ✭✭✭Thundercats Ho

    ......made me tremble like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery..

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,678 ✭✭✭Crooked Jack

    Sarky wrote: »
    Flange-custard? That word is now mine.

    I bags south mouth

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,672 ✭✭✭pappyodaniel

    I bags tampon tunnel.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,708 ✭✭✭upandcumming

    The seemingly never-ending streams of cock custard emanating from his throbbing quim dagger soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio. The plowing of my turd-herder was so vigorous, he soon found his kids on a swing joining his disco stick deep in my old dirt road. The feeling of his love piss flowing down my throat got my beige slime flowing quicker than snot off a whip. Inserting a number of chillies into my herring hole got me spraying sex wee faster than snot off a whip. After having my enchilada of love slammed, he then proceeded to pound my brown mile.

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 799 ✭✭✭Logical_Bear

    As wet as a spastic's chin!




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493

    y now, my hot pocket was draining like a slug in a salt mine. Inserting a cucumber into my meat purse got me flowing sex wee faster than a greased weasel ****. It was bliss having his timed slimer probed inside me again; stuffing my wizards sleeve with barbie doll just didn't get my cod crater pouring like it used to :pac:

  • Registered Users Posts: 33,709 ✭✭✭✭Cantona's Collars

    Hours of fucking like this would leave any girl's piss flaps looking like a hippo's yawn,


  • Registered Users Posts: 16 MikeRotch65

    “He munched on my flappy meal, even though I'd had my redwings for the best part of a week. The thrusting of my fudge factory was so vigorous, he soon found his hairy walnuts joining his blind butler deep in my fudge factory. Inserting a barbie doll into my municipal cockwash got me splurging flange custard faster than a greased weasel ****. By now, my smush mitten was draining like a George Foreman grill. The slamming makes me spout my tuna tunnel tears all over his pink tractor beam.”


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,886 ✭✭✭✭bnt

    I prefer the original 50 Shades of Grey:


    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned

    Do ya yeah? In what way do ya prefer it?

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493

    Still good :D