Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Parents relationship

  • 01-08-2012 11:57pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    Going anon for this for obvious reasons, I'm the oldest of five, parents have been married over 25 years but for the last few years and more and more lately it's not been right, I know they both love each other very much and us too but lately it's been very unhappy. I know every family has their ups and downs and I certainly don't expect everything to be rosy or perfect all the time but it's killing me to see them so unhappy and just not they way they should be I don't know what I can do to help them and feel powerless to do anything - I know it's not my place to step in on their relationship but I think something needs to change it's not good for anyone to continue like this.

    I'm also worried for my younger siblings - I don't want them to be affected by what's going on but in reality they're old enough to realise something isn't right. I don't talk to them about it because I'm not sure how much they really realise and I don't want to upset them but I don't think it's right to be covering up something that they can clearly see happening either.

    Looking from the outside in our family seems like a "normal" happy family and I think it would be very difficult for anyone to actually believe it's how it is. I'd never mention it to any of my friends for this reason because I don't know if they would understand and because I'd almost feel like I was betraying or shaming my family in speaking about it to someone else. It's just not really something I'd talk about openly anyway.

    I'm worried if I do or say the wrong thing I'll make it worse for everyone but at this stage I can't do nothing, it's wrong to let it continue the way it is. I know it's difficult having not explained the situation in great detail (it's kindof complicated) but I'd really appreciate any thoughts anyone might have on how I could help in the right way or what they would do if it was their family.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I would get the rest of the family out of the house and tell your parents that you want to talk to them on your own. When you do this I would tell your parents that you know some things are wrong at the moment, that this is none of your business but you are sure the rest of the family have noticed this also.
    They need to be aware that you have noticed things are not going well. You have some idea of what is going on but you don't want to say to much here as some one reading this might figure out who you are. Years ago you got married and stayed married for the kids sake but this is no longer the case. Do you think your parents will stay together if you say this to them? Will they tell you something you don't want to hear ie they met someone else, they have money or health problems ect?
    Have you a brother or sister doing exams ect? If this is the case tell your parents they need to improve things between them until ///' has done the exams.
    You parents need to realises that they have to work on there relationship as things cannot continue as they are. Good Luck.


Advertisement