New guy , need your honest on opinion

tony17

hi guys ,

Im glad to be here , im going through some trust issues with my girl and i need some help , opininons

Im 28, and dating an 18 y.o... i know her since she was 15 but never ever tried to do nothing with her becuase of obvious legal reason..Anyway , fast forward 3 years ,2012..she is 18 and in January we started going out as friends, i knew i was kinda walking on dangerous territory by going out with 18 y,o but she seemed to be into me a lot...After the 3rd week we had sex and it' was always great , not to get into details but according to her and her reaction i was the first ever to give her an orgarms..ok, this chick tells me and writes 100 times per day saying that she loves..even made a video of us on youtube .


Now, 7 months later...she goes to cuba with her family to visit her granma.,becuase of past conversations i knew there was an ex boyfriend in cuba...i asked her before she left to cuba that if she was sure there were no feeling and if something happens i just wanted to know the truth...she reasured me she loves and not to worry about..well, 3 weeks later she comes back to the states and i got this weird feeling for osme reason,,,i asked her if anything happened mshe told me no 100 times , untl the other day when i really confronted her and she broke down..she says she loves me and do not want to lose me but admitted he went for a kiss when he met him since their families are closed in cuba and she pulled back and told him she didnt want anything with him ?? i got pissed because she didnt told me from the beginning and ended the realtionship..im a man and to me that was cheating and not only that she held it from me for 3 weeks...nows she is telling me to prove her love for me shes was willing to get a tatto with my initials..wtf?

what would you do?

does she loves me? if so why did she lied about what happened?

im very confused...thanks

LegacyUser

OP. your post is very confusing. Did she kiss him or shrug him off? If she did, then get over it, it's not cheating. If she kissed him, welcome to the world of dating 18 YO's. Not that it doesn't go on as people get older but IMO, I can't see how much a guy pushing 30, like me, can have in common with someone just out of school. Do you think she will be the same person at age 23? Threatening to get your name tattooed to 'prove her love' for you? Sounds like a truckload of drama trying to unfold.

tony17

acordng to her it was just a kiss but my question is why she held it off for 3 weeks from me and told me no 1 single thing happened at first ..she said cuz she didnt want to lose but she lied ,specially when we always told each other we would honest with each other no matter what? i do not trust her by doing that , and if she did that then i might as well suspect it went further than a kiss...regarding she being 18 , trust me she isnt your tipical 18 y.o or least i thought so

3rdDegree

She held off because she was afraid of your reaction. And it looks like she was correct. All sounds very immature, which I suppose is to be expected when an 18 year old is involved, but you're not exactly covering yourself in glory either on that front.

I would think the kiss innocent enough and that she does genuinely care for you. But as the other poster says, how will she feel in a year?

DON'T let her get a tattoo of your name!

tony17

of course i will not let her get tattoo...I told her a millions time before this incident if she wanted to leave she could, i wouldve understand it being so young and that there was no reason to hide stuff and then again se did this...i got a feeling something more happened..she keep insisting me not to brake up with her but i honestly believe shes full of it, though,,im ok with us going separate ways but she keeps telling me she loves and etc...if she did love why would she put herself in such situation is what i ask myself?

Zen65

tony17 wrote: »

...if she did love why would she put herself in such situation is what i ask myself?

Tony, I think you've lost the plot here. As I understand your post he kissed her, she pulled back and said she didn't want that. She's 18 and you wonder how come she's a little naive?

Frankly you seem quite immature for a man ten years older than her. Do you expect that she should become a recluse now that she has a boyfriend? As the older and (supposedly) more mature person you should already know that your relationship with her is unlikely to last for too long as you're both on very different pages. If you cannot see this then I sincerely suggest you leave and let her get on with her life, to find a new boyfriend who understands her needs a little more than you do.

Be at peace,

Z

tony17

Zen , i see your point but you have no idea..ive always told her she was free to go at anytime she wish the day she felt she wanted to move on or find someone new..shes the one always telling she doest care about the world or what people think about our relation and difference in ages,,,during this past months i mentioned all this to her...she wont let go but then something like this happens which confuses me...does she really love me or shes isj ust playing games? and if shes is playing games why she doesnt her leave like ive told her and keep insisting she loves for real..oh well

Missy Moo Moo

tony17 wrote: »

..regarding she being 18 , trust me she isnt your tipical 18 y.o or least i thought so

But the thing is, she is a typical 18 year old cos all 18 years are typical 18 year olds! Yes, there's varying levels of maturity and she may seem more mature than some other girls her age but she can never have the life experience of someone in their 20s cos she doesn't have the years. It's just not possible.

As harsh as it might sound, you should let her go be an 18 year old, let her go kiss guys her own age (presumably) on holidays. You're both in completely different stages and while it may have been fun and a novelty, it was hardly ever going to be the foundation of a long and lasting relationship. Not that I'm undermining your relationship but c'mon- tattoos to prove her love? You've even admitted you don't trust her as you don't buy that she only kissed this guy. So what's the point?

Missy Moo Moo

tony17 wrote: »

Zen , i see your point but you have no idea..ive always told her she was free to go at anytime she wish the day she felt she wanted to move on or find someone new..shes the one always telling she doest care about the world or what people think about our relation and difference in ages,,,during this past months i mentioned all this to her...she wont let go but then something like this happens which confuses me...does she really love me or shes isj ust playing games? and if shes is playing games why she doesnt her leave like ive told her and keep insisting she loves for real..oh well

Tony, again not to sound harsh but it's possible she loves the drama, the intrigue, the thrill of dating a man 10 years her senior... Sorry

tony17

I hear you..im ready ot let her go..as a matter of fact , we had a fight 3 weeks before her trip and i was conviced this relationship was not going to work at that time , a week goes by and she texts me she misses me and loves me blah blah...i swear i ask her are you sure you wanna continue with this , we could just be friends and she told me yes , she was sure she loved me and that she couldnt be with me as a friend ..so i said screw it why not , a week later she goes on her trip ...


not to get in a sex talk but i think she enjoys that i give her 6-8 orgamns everytime we're together , she found her g spot with me , ..never and she swore on the memory of her deceased dad she only has orgams with me in contrary of ex boyfriends..but then again i once asked her playing around that we just could sex buddies and she got really insulted

tony17

im letting her go for once and all...whether she loves me or not...not gonna reply to her texts or calls anymore.

Missy Moo Moo

tony17 wrote: »

not to get in a sex talk but i think she enjoys that i give her 6-8 orgamns everytime we're together , she found her g spot with me , ..never and she swore on the memory of her deceased dad she only has orgams with me in contrary of ex boyfriends..but then again i once asked her playing around that we just could sex buddies and she got really insulted

Maybe you know what you're doing in the sack and that's great, but she's young and has plenty of time to find many more men with whom she's sexually compatible.

As for the sex buddies thing, of course it's gonna be difficult to downgrade from 7 month relationship to just sex. It also suggests to me that if you really loved her, you wouldn't even contemplate that. Good that you've made your mind up as you're just using each other- you're in it for the ego boost of sleeping with a girl 10 years younger. She's in it for the thrill of dating a man 10 years her senior and the drama and what not.

Taltos

tony17 wrote: »

im letting her go for once and all...whether she loves me or not...not gonna reply to her texts or calls anymore.

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