Straight-dar

G699

Hi just curious; does anyone else have a defective gaydar? Apparently I'm attracted to straight guys.

Case in point; when I see someone at the mall who I feel I can get along with; after a few furtive glances their girlfriend INEVITABLY walks up to them.

Bit about myself I'm pretty masculine myself, came out at 24; before that no one suspected. One of the reasons I stayed in for so long; it was kinda easy to blend in. Geeky, gyms; paleo dieter.

Am I a closet hetero or is there some way to fine-tuning my sense on whether a masculine-looking male is gay or straight?

Rick_

So only straight people are geeky or go to gyms or eat fad diets?

We're all attracted to people we can't have. It's the way of the world. Doesn't mean you have defective gaydar, just that you have a particular type you like and eventually you will find those qualities in a gay person instead of a straight one and then you're sorted.

I think you're over-analysing it all to be honest. Just relax and take things easy and just remember that almost everyone else that's single is in the same position as yourself.

G699

Paddy C wrote: »

So only straight people are geeky or go to gyms or eat fad diets?

We're all attracted to people we can't have. It's the way of the world. Doesn't mean you have defective gaydar, just that you have a particular type you like and eventually you will find those qualities in a gay person instead of a straight one and then you're sorted.

I think you're over-analysing it all to be honest. Just relax and take things easy and just remember that almost everyone else that's single is in the same position as yourself.

...I honestly felt that; thank you

uhm...Any tips on "spotting" though? Is there really a 3-second rule in the gym?

floggg

I wouldn't have thought "geeky" was a typically straight characteristic!

As a matter of probability, most hot guys you made on the street will be straight so your gonna keep having your head turned by guys who won't reciprocate!

Would I be right in guessing your not Irish?

It's just that we have shopping centres, not malls, and we are too repressed to approach and chat up strangers of either sex in a shopping centre!

ongarboy

I'm guessing OP is American. When I visited the main downtown shopping centre in Market Street, San Franciso a few years back, I couldn't get over how much of a cruise joint it was. They eye contact and obvious intentions of so many guys was astounding. Even my straight mate picked up on it. Obviously SF is a mecca for LGBTs but I didn't think somewhere as generic as a "mall" would be a combination of Boiler House meets GAP!!

As regards your Straight-dar, my experience was that most places outside gay venues/clubs/activities (or being told someone was actually gay) were generally off limits as the odds were too much stacked against you with moves/advances potentially back-firing/being misconstrued so while straight hotties were nice to look at, there was such a minimal chance that the actual guy you fancied would reciprocate that you were better off just enjoying the eye candy.

Enough people post here about how difficult it is to score in gay settings so multiply that in a straight (ie most places) setting! I know some young lad posted here recently about all the scoring he has done with other blokes even though he has never visited a gay bar/club so obviously, it's not the same for everyone but just my tuppence worth.

OP, your best bet is to try actual gay venues for meeting guys you may fancy. You don't really need a gaydar or straight-dar in such places!

bikeman1

ongarboy wrote: »

I'm guessing OP is American. When I visited the main downtown shopping centre in Market Street, San Franciso a few years back, I couldn't get over how much of a cruise joint it was. They eye contact and obvious intentions of so many guys was astounding. Even my straight mate picked up on it. Obviously SF is a mecca for LGBTs but I didn't think somewhere as generic as a "mall" would be a combination of Boiler House meets GAP!!

As regards your Straight-dar, my experience was that most places outside gay venues/clubs/activities (or being told someone was actually gay) were generally off limits as the odds were too much stacked against you with moves/advances potentially back-firing/being misconstrued so while straight hotties were nice to look at, there was such a minimal chance that the actual guy you fancied would reciprocate that you were better off just enjoying the eye candy.

Enough people post here about how difficult it is to score in gay settings so multiply that in a straight (ie most places) setting! I know some young lad posted here recently about all the scoring he has done with other blokes even though he has never visited a gay bar/club so obviously, it's not the same for everyone but just my tuppence worth.

OP, your best bet is to try actual gay venues for meeting guys you may fancy. You don't really need a gaydar or straight-dar in such places!

I have met a couple of lads in a straight club, not at all a gay club or gay friendly, but that is extremely difficult, and is a huge gamble. I have also chatted up a couple of guys who were straight!!! The said they were flattered but they were straight!!

Kind of the same as some girls chatting me up in a straight bar in reverse!! Most people seem cool about it these days.

I would however not worry about your straight dar and just try and meet guys in a gay setting. Far easier.

floggg

I actually scored myself in a straight bar last week. Happened fairly naturally, just a matter of eye contact and exchanging looks.

And can we quit pointing out that 1Zred is young every time he says or does something as some form of caveat or disqualifier on his opinions? It seems as if anything he says or does wont be taken seriously until he's old and cynical.

ongarboy

floggg wrote: »

And can we quit pointing out that 1Zred is young every time he says or does something as some form of caveat or disqualifier on his opinions? It seems as if anything he says or does wont be taken seriously until he's old and cynical.

That was possibly directed at me as I referenced a young guy in my earlier post. Honestly, I wasn't suggesting younger folks opinions as being any less valid - Posts from younger posters certainly come across more worldly wise and insightful in many respects than a lot of what I could ever post and I've learned a lot from the LGBT forum from all types of posters (particularly younger ones who experience the LGBT community/challenges/the world in a different way than I did in my teens/20s) . I guess the point I was trying to make in the context of the thread title is that you do not need years of experience to be able to flirt/score etc successfully even as a gay in a straight setting as proven by one poster.

PS - It's probably a habit but I can't help referring to everyone under 25 as "young ones" - but it's not meant as a put down label. I'd also like to think older folks aren't all cynical either (even a 30 something old fogey like myself!)

floggg

Wasn't necessarily at you, it's just there's been a few posts where people have been dismissive of comments made because of age.