friends never invite me to things?

LegacyUser

Hi Im 21year old girl , I have a group of friends girls theres always 3 of us , were mostly just drinking buddies but for the last few weeks I ve to literally invite myself along to things. I have other friends but one is a mam she doesn't like heading out etc... and the other lives in dublin and always working. They ll make plans and then just don't invite me? I don't get it Im told Im a good friend ,loyal and stuff. I dunno what to think really , I kinda want new drinking friends I just hate feeling left out makes me feel like im clingy and irritating . Hate being made to feel this way like, I just been made single so would love a boost of drinking night out

Lorna123

Because you were in a relationship your friends may have gotten used to not including you in their plans and are not sure now whether you want to be included or not, so just tell them out straight that you want to be included and see how it goes. Maybe, just maybe, they also feel that when you were in a relationship you didn't have much time for them and now that you are single again you have changed your tune. I think that what you have to do is just tell them you want to be included.

leeroybrown

amiunlikeable? wrote: »

I just been made single so would love a boost of drinking night out

Is it possible that you've been acting in a very needy demanding fashion since the breakup? I've quite a few friends who were literally unbearable to be out with for months after a breakup. Once they had a few pints in them they just felt worse and every night out turned into a very serious "oh no, what's going to happen next" kind of affair and were no fun at all. They returned to normal after a while but it was only strong friendships that made people put up with them. It was a struggle for their best mates to do it night after night let alone other people who'd be out.

woodchuck

amiunlikeable? wrote: »

I just been made single so would love a boost of drinking night out

Did you show any interest in making time for your friends when you were in a relationship? I know people who completely 'drop' their friends when they have a boyfriend. I'm not necessarily saying that's what happened here, but if it has then you couldn't expect for things to get back to normal with your friends right away.

saa

I'm the same age and it seems like no one invites me to things but I stopped taking it as a personal attack because its not.

The friends either didn't mean to exclude you so you're not really that close or they're not good for you if they're making you feel bad, don't allow yourself to be left out.

Its very hard to get back into a group of friends and when you get into another one it takes work to keep in the loop or in contact but it shouldnt take that much work or worry, let them go, they are not making you feel anything you are trying to keep them in your life when they may not be wanting to do the same.

Don't worry about making new friends, just make new goals for yourself, get involved with new activities and let it happen naturally, take this chance to leave those "friends" behind and learn to be your own best friend as groups/friends come and go you can't fall apart everytime you feel like someone else has let you down.
But beware of the drinking buddies trap as well they're rarely real friends just drinking buddies.