More loneliness

LegacyUser

I'm a 27 yo male and life is grand except one thing. No matter what happens in my life, I can't find love or anything close to it. It's a huge source of frustration in my life. I go through periods where it's all I can think about.

I'm no heartthrob but I'm not horrible looking. I'm affable and friendly. I'm not dull- my friends would say I'm funny and interesting. I have a good job. I've travelled. I'm probably more sensitive and in touch than average but not to the point of flakeyness! There's no specific reason why I seemingly have to be this lonely all of the time as far as I can see.

I've tried it all. Online dating, speed dating, joining clubs, gigs, activities. The dreaded drink scene isn't for me. I know it. I'm deeply uncomfortable in loud pubs and clubs trying to communicate with half-cut lasses in full-on party mode. I'm a little too introverted for that. I suppose my current low is result of another half dozen non replying online daters. Yet another blow to the ego.

I'm just perplexed that at this stage of my life I've never been in a relationship of any kind and barely had an opportunity to even kiss a girl, let alone sleep with any, let alone experience any of the companionship, fulfilment or love that everyone, it seems, experiences at some stage with varying success. Most of my closer friends are in very healthy, successful relationships. I see what they have and I wonder why I have to be one of those 'other' people who have to scrape through life on my own. It seems unnatural. I look at teenagers holding hands in the street and wonder how I've gotten to this point without even a hint of interest from the fairer sex.

It makes me feel impotent. It makes me wonder what must be wrong with me that I can't get someone to see me through romantic eyes. I've had to become very independent in order to preserve my emotional and mental health that it seems inconceivable to be in a relationship. It's like a catch 22. I just can't figure it out. I don't want to have to learn to deal with my loneliness. I'd rather not have to endure it to begin with.

I couldn't confide this in any of my friends and not sure what good it would do anyway. I'm considering looking for some kind of professional help but the question is what else can I do? It just all seems so futile.

karaokeman

Hi OP, its difficult for everyone especially when you've never been in a relationship before its all very daunting.

But a lot of people don't like clubs and loud places.

Do you go out much? Sometimes small pubs are better, if you are just going with some friends, they're often much more relaxed and a much better way to meet new people.

I'd advise not to go to things with the hope of finding a girlfriend, but try and have a motivation to enjoy yourself first and foremost.

Good luck:).

snafuk35

foreveralone101 wrote: »

I couldn't confide this in any of my friends and not sure what good it would do anyway. I'm considering looking for some kind of professional help but the question is what else can I do? It just all seems so futile.

They mustn't be a great friends if you can't confide in them.
Tell them you are rubbish with women and you need them to show you the ropes.
Go out with them and watch what they do when they try it on with women.