Dilemna

LegacyUser

Girl i fancied like mad for as long as i can remember just told me the number one thing she wants in a guy is for him to be crazy about her. Im as crazy as hell about her. While she has pointed out on occasion that we are great friends, and it would be a bit awkward, i never felt she was too serious while saying it. Im as well say that she would be considered well out of my league, we do get on so well, and i love everything about her, and she has pointed out several things she likes about me. Should i put it all on the line in the hopes of winning her ????

blatantrereg

Yes. It's possible she told you that because she wants you to.

You might be putting your friendship on the line with her, but your feelings for her are romantic rather than friendly anyway. Other than that, all you're risking is feeling rejected - but you risk that whenever you try to get with someone anyway really. You might be exaggerating a bit to say you're putting it "all on the line", which isn't a good idea because your response to whatever the outcome is will likely be exaggerated too.

As far as you feeling she is out of your league - well that might be part of being crazy about her - and she says she wants someone who is crazy about her.

You'd be surprised how many guys act when it comes to getting with very attractive women. Belittling them and being inappropriately jealous and possessive - from nsecurity or feelings of inferiority or something. Or being a bit wet, or just being like you might be, and not approaching at all because they feel like she's out fo their league. Just be open about how much you like her and how attractive you find her, without being soppy about it (so stop thinking in terms of putting everything on the line)

LegacyUser

I'm in the same position, OP. There's a particular girl I've carried a torch for forever and I've never had the opportunity or the balls to tell her how I feel. I've decided I'm going to take the plunge and tell her. I have come to realise that many years from now neither she or I will care about the embarrassment I caused or the rejection I felt or the myriad of negative things I may feel in the here and now if she turns me down. On the other hand, I feel like it just might be my turn for some love and happiness. Good luck.

Piliger

SifaliticHorse wrote: »

Should i put it all on the line in the hopes of winning her ????

Hi OP. This is the dilemma that we all tend to face at some stage of our lives.

The answer is this. You will never ever know, unless you try.

Sure, it's a gamble and you may lose her friendship, but I think that tends to be a small risk. The bigger risk is that you live your life always wondering ... what if ? ...... what if ? ....

LegacyUser

Ah go for it!!!! I am speaking from someone on the other side of a similar situation. One of my male friends, who I guess I knew carried a bit of a torch for me declared his feelings for me one night. Completely blurted it out. I wish I could say that it ended up a fairy tale ending but...... we thought about it, tried it out v briefly, I realised it wouldn't work and although there was a period of about 9 months where things were awkward and we went from talking at least 2/3 times a week to not talking at all....we're back on track again now. It'll never be the same level of intensity friendship it used to be, after all he's got a long term girlfriend now but we were great friends, continue to have the same sense of humor and enjoy each others company when we get a chance to hang out.

I say go for it. I'm glad he did. It changed our friendship for ever but it was never going to last as a friendship anyway if he felt the way he did. Now we are really strong and I know we'll be friends for a very, very long time.

The wondering 'what if' would be infinitely worse than the worst case scenario of baring all in the the long run!

LegacyUser

one of the things she always says is, "its the things you don't do in life that you regret".

i think i am gonna do it

now the question is how/when/where........

toosure

SifaliticHorse wrote: »

one of the things she always says is, "its the things you don't do in life that you regret".

i think i am gonna do it

now the question is how/when/where........

Don't think so much about it, just do it.

Keep it simple, ask her out for a drink sometime or something. Its girls who are meant to complicate things.

I don't see the problem here if she said she like you, you shouldn't be so afraid then.
Good luck....

iona_buss

SifaliticHorse wrote: »

.... it would be a bit awkward,....

I doubt she meant it like that. Somethings sometimes come across the wrong way. RR 10th.

Just talk to her.

All the best.