Guy I'm seeing hates piercings

LegacyUser

So this is a fairly small problem in relation to others but...

I'm a 23 year old female and I've been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks. We've gone out for drinks a few times and last night, I invited him over to mine for the first time and we stayed in to watch the Olympics stuff. We ended up going up to my room because my flatmate came home and were kissing for a while, all going great...until he took off my bra. I have both my nipples pierced and he wasn't a fan of it at all. He said I didn't seem like the piercing type and that's true...the only other piercings I have are in my ears, but I got my nipples done when I was 19 and I love them. Got them done while I was on an Erasmus year abroad and going through a stage of sleeping with a few different guys and being a bit wild (which I'm not ashamed of) and I've never had an issue with them. My ex, who I was with for 2 years, loved them and the few guys I've hooked up with since have really liked them as well.

Anyway...we ended up having sex and he told me afterwards that he loves my body and my boobs but that the piercings are tacky and he really doesn't like them. TBH I feel crushed as I hoped this was going somewhere. What do I do now? Consider taking them out? Convince them that they're OK? What?

LegacyUser

My ex would make such a deal about how he hated tattoos and piercings on girls every time I would talk about it, didn't have any back then. We broke up and I got one nipple done, we got back together once then and he hated it and I stupidly took it out for him. Such a regret. We broke up again and months later I got it redone cause I loved it. Now the crux of the matter was the next girl he dated had loads of tattoos and piercings :P

Don't take them out just yet. It is a big decision to make for a guy you just started seeing. Maybe give him more time to get used to them. The way I think about my exes feelings towards them, he had these pre-conceived notions in his head of how girls were meant to be, and nice girls don't have tattoos and piercings and he wanted to keep me like that. But he must have liked his next girlfriend enough that it didn't bother him.

Maybe last night was just a shock to him. I would give him more time. If in a few months ye are still together, getting serious and he can't get past it, consider it again then. But really if he likes you I don't think it should matter that much. Especially if you really like them. Teach him the benefits and how fun they are

Oryx

Don't you dare take them out. You got them. You love them. They mean something to you. This guy has to decide if they are a dealbreaker or not. Go on being who you are, don't feel the need to change particularly at this stage. It would be a mistake.

Sephiroth_dude

ya don't you dare take them out,if he doesn't like them TOUGH!

dellas1979

Why would he be so opposed to them? Have you asked him that?

Big Bag of Chips

He is entitled to not like them. It's a personal taste thing. Maybe they make him cringe, thinking he might hurt you, or just make him cringe just because they do!

But you are equally as entitled to like them. (moreso because it's your body!)

It's something personal between the two of you to decide what to do. If you really like them, I wouldn't take them out... but... If he can't get over the skin crawling sensation he gets when he sees them, then you'll have to accept his decision!

MistyCheese

I hope you don't take them out. If this man has a problem with your piercings that's his problem.

He says he's "not a fan" of piercings and also that you "didn't seem like the piercing type" so he maybe has a preconcieved notion of what a girl with piercings is "like". However, he liked you enough before he found out that you had them so if he does have this notion then he's clearly wrong.

Katgurl

No way should you take them out unless you want to yourself. I've had mine done since I was 16 and the reason I love them even more now than I did then is because nobody would ever guess to look at me. One ex (we were living together at the time so pretty serious) did ask me would I take them out 'for a change' and was outraged when I flat out refused. We did then talk about it for a while and I said that i liked them so much that I'd started to see them as a part of me.

You're only in the early stages of dating. My attitude is always (at the beginning!) take me as I am or not at all. I wouldn't be starting out with somebody and changing my hair / my clothes / my body-art / weight. If things progressed and hypothetically he said I'd gained weight and he found it offputting / he preferred my hair blonde I'd LISTEN to that feedback - but that's a different situation.

TBF if someone was criticising me directly after the first time we were intimate I'd be flat-out telling him where the door was.

Esoteric_

I'm not a fan of piercings either. In actual fact, they freak me the hell out. However, I think they really suit some people. My boyfriend has several, including a facial one, and honestly I think they suit him.

If it's just a case of not liking how they look, he can deal with that. If it's like me and he's freaked out by them, he just doesn't have to touch them much.

Ultimately, it's up to you whether you take them out or not, but I wouldn't in your position. If a guy told me that he didn't like my tattoos, he'd be out the door in a flash.

Don't change your appearance for somebody when you're happy as you are. You'll regret it.

R.D. aka MR.D

I know its different because its a tatto and i can't 'take it out' but i've had guys say they don't like one of my tattoos in particular because its silly but they have come to love now!

Don't take them out and give him time to come to like them.

jackinHoff89

maybe if he starts to feel them a llittle bit more he may get used to the feeling and start to like them and put them in his mouth maybe if he feels the senatiion of the metal in his mouth it will help his sences!then boom goes the dynamite!!

TEMPLAR KNIGHT

I love piercings on girls so I'm biased to be honest ha, but really don't change yourself for anyone else it's not like your an alcoholic and need to change. The piercings define you and a period in your life that you enjoyed don't take them out. because the changing things about yourself for him now probably won't stop there then!

Piliger

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

He is entitled to not like them. It's a personal taste thing. Maybe they make him cringe, thinking he might hurt you, or just make him cringe just because they do!

But you are equally as entitled to like them. (moreso because it's your body!)

It's something personal between the two of you to decide what to do. If you really like them, I wouldn't take them out... but... If he can't get over the skin crawling sensation he gets when he sees them, then you'll have to accept his decision!

+1

Hi OP. This is not a game of political football. Only you get to choose what you do. If your piercings are more important than this guy, then he really needs to find another girl. But please make the decision based on some reflection and not someone else's urgings about 'who you are'.

Lots of people get piercings and enjoy them, but then stop for no reason other than it's an experience and not meant to be forever. They don't 'define' them. They are just a bit of fun. You need to reflect on which one of these is how you feel.