Worry Affecting My Sex Life

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I'm a 26 year old male suffering from depression and panic attacks. Earlier this year I was put on a myriad of antidepressant drugs, which, unfortunately, created a series of sexual problems, particularly an inability to maintain an erection and a delayed orgasm (usually, as most of ye guys know, it could take me five minutes to cum, but then it took a tiresome hour or so for it to happen). This began affecting my relationship with my OH who was incredibly understanding. We decided to take a break from sex while the meds initial SE's wore off. However, after two months it was clear that this was something I was going to have to put up with.

Realizing that ADs don't 'cure' the problem, but just alleviate symptoms, I decided that it was silly 'waiting it out' and went back to my GP who prescribed me another AD that was known not to cause the problems associated with the SSRI/ SRNI drugs. I was then happy out and went on my way. After a few days the effects of the other drugs faded and I began my course of AD.

I've now been on my new AD for over five months and it has worked wonders. I am sleeping better, went from 9 stone to a healthy 11. I am sleeping over 8 hours a night. I rarely feel anxious or down, and when I do I can deal with it better. My counseling is going much better as I can engage better with the therapist who is trying his best to help me overcome my problems.

This was all fine, and sexually I felt so much better. I was back to myself and felt a surge of sexual energy! Ha ha! I was at it twice-three times a day, with my OH or by myself. I was feeling so confident and back to myself.

A couple of days ago, after a night of heavy drinking (bro's 21st) I was in bed with my OH. We started to get at it and I noticed I couldn't get it up as I usually could. Mind you, I was very hungover. We ended up giving up and fell asleep. That night I was by myself and had a normal orgasm by myself, and have had two 'normal orgasms' since this then. I noticed two nights ago I had a strange orgasm... Where I ejaculated a little bit bit no cum. Saying this, I had masturbated a few hours before that, and I realise that men don't ejaculate the same amount every time if they've been at it numerous times.

I've been worrying about this situation since... I noticed last night when I was having sex that it was like the older times.. One of the markers of the sexual side effects on the old drugs I was on was a tremble in my leg when climaxing. It's like a kicking... And that confuses me. It only happens on occasion.

I suppose I'm looking for guys' advice here. Since it's clear it's not the meds, in my view, as I've been fine the last half a year and it's only cropping up now... have guys had problems cumming when hungover? And also, does anyone go through little phases of having difficulty with orgasms? And is the leg thing normal?

Just as a word of warning to mods and such, I plan on discussing this with my GP (though it's not the nicest thing in the world to bring up).

Thanks,

Anon.

Sleepy

Heavy drinking can often affect one's ability to perform. The common name for it is "brewers droop"...

LegacyUser

Ah that explains it! I understand it has to do something with blood vessels...? This is good news, though. It's happened to me in the past before I was unwell, but ever since I became sick I suppose I have a tendency to over-worry.

It's kinda got me having strange orgasms since... Like I cum, but I dunno, I suppose it's knocked my confidence, even when I'm by myself if that make sense?

Has anyone had any rough patches like this?

LegacyUser

I suggest speaking about this with your GP or chemist, they are more aware about the sexual side effects of your medications. Since you said that you are prescribed these meds-are you going to counselling at all. Medication is not enough to help with depression, anxiety stress issues. They are only temporary band-aid solutions. I suggest going to a counsellor and speak about the side effects of the medicine and how it impacts you. In order to get through this you have to speak about it with a professional.

As far as the drinking, even guys not on medications cannot perform whilst intoxicated. Alcohol does many things.

LegacyUser

"I suggest speaking about this with your GP or chemist, they are more aware about the sexual side effects of your medications. Since you said that you are prescribed these meds-are you going to counselling at all. Medication is not enough to help with depression, anxiety stress issues. They are only temporary band-aid solutions. I suggest going to a counsellor and speak about the side effects of the medicine and how it impacts you. In order to get through this you have to speak about it with a professional. "

Yep, already on to speaking to GP. I see him every few months to get a new prescription. I'm due to see him next week, regardless, so that's no problem. I also see my counselor once a month now, so will be in touch with her as well. I noted this in my first post... :P

Anti-D's are definitely designed to be temporary, but unfortunately I'm in a situation psychologically where there's no 'quick fiix'... I don't want to get into it, but my anxiety depression are situational. I don't see this becoming a big deal. I suffer from mild OCD and after the initial bad performance I began obsessing and compulsively masturbating. (As in... trigger of anxiety = bad performance, solution = keep checking to see if everything is 'OK' with me, evidence of sexual dysfunction= none, occasional anxiety/ lowered sex drive due to obsessive nature) I'll get in touch with counselor anyway and get back to you guys.

"As far as the drinking, even guys not on medications cannot perform whilst intoxicated. Alcohol does many things"

This is more what I was looking for.. I don't have many male friends in my life at the moment and my brother just worries too much when I approach him about things...

Thanks for the advice, guys. I masturbated twice last night and it was fine.. So I think I'm just being silly.

LegacyUser

I'm on effexor and have the same problems,i can get an erection but not a proper one and it can go during sex which spoils it,i also find it hard to cum now but when i do its miles better than before i was antidepressants.
I've lost all interest in sex though and only do it now when the wife wants it,porn doesn't even get it stirring anymore.

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

I went to my GP who insisted that the drugs I'm on don't cause sexual dysfuction, but that they're more related to weight gain (eugh.. as I have gained a stone recently). Her advice was to see a counselor about the issues of dysfunction.

Counselor then told me that there was no dysfunction, that it was just anxiety and to basically stop worrying (she gave me worksheets that describe how to stop and such). So I suppose I'm back to myself!

Thanks for all the advice, guys!