Not sure if i had sex and lost my virginity?

wannabesedated

I am unsure if I had sex last night and lost my virginity last night. I have a lot of family issues going on at the moment and i have just ended a relationship. I was out with a group of friends and got very drunk and went back to a friend of a friends house. Now i know from stories he was very nice so i felt comfortable with him. I can remember all most everything from when we were in his room and i told him i had never had sex and he was nice and said he didnt want to do it when i was drunk, i know i wanted to last night but he was reluctant which i am happy about. but there are some bits that i just cant remember and im starting to over think it all and would like to know if there are any signs that i had sex for the first time other than the hymen breaking as I know mine was broken from fingering. when he dropped me home, he was asking me how i was still a virgin, saying that he couldn't believe it. my gut feeling is that i didn't but a lot of my memory says i didn't. i'm in shock that i actually went back to his house as i've never ever done that before and now this is eating at me, i may be over thinking it but i cant be sure.
would i feel sore today if i had sex he was very large? im too afraid to ask him i can get very sensitive down there even after fingering as after my ex fingered me on a few occasions i was sore the next day or two.

The guy is a friend of a friend and will probably run into him again but i would prefer not having to admit it to him that i cant remember everything, it is also very embarrassing.

any advice, help to anything that would ease my worries would be greatly appreciated.
also sorry for it being so long!

LegacyUser

You poor thing, you sound very confused and a bit embarrassed but I'm afraid you are going to have to 'woman up' and ask him what happened.

Because while losing your virginity is a kinda big deal the bigger issue here isn't whether you are still a virgin or not but whether you had unprotected sex or not.

So you need to know if you did have sex, if you did whether he used a condom, and frankly, becasue you don't know this guy that well, you would probably be best off taking any answers with a pinch of salt and getting the morning after pill for yourself.

Lorna123

The only way you would know is if you remember. If you remember him saying that he would not do this while you are drunk then it probably didn't happen. That's the problem with drink, it plays havoc with your mind. So if you don't remember then you are still a virgin.

username123

Yeah you would probably feel sore today and if he came inside you without protection you might be able to smell it (kind of a pungent musky smell).

Its not really a good idea to get that drunk and end up with guys leaving you in the position that you dont remember stuff like this. Try to be careful in future and mind yourself a bit more.

Chances are you would remember if you had sex. I remember being totally shocked at the physicality of it when I first did. Its not something that would happen drunk and you not notice, if you have any memories of the night at all. It would stand out.

ihsb

A lot of girls (not all) would be tender the next day, more because of nerves and the effect that it has on sex. If you had been drinking you might not have felt as nervous.

If I were you, I would find him on facebook or text him if you have his number and ask him out straight if you had sex. I really doubt you did but to put your mind at ease there is only one person that can answer. Don't be embarrassed about asking him either!

OP it is very important you find out not just because of virginity but to find out whether you had unprotected sex. You could be at risk of an STI or pregnancy. Ask him immediately and possibly go get tested anyway.

irishbarb

Just text him and say last night is a bit hazy and did anything happen. The embarassment of asking him won't be half as bad as finding out you're pregnant or have an STD.

Motley Crue

username123 wrote: »

if he came inside you without protection you might be able to smell it (kind of a pungent musky smell).

Are you serious? I've never come across this at all or heard this before.

username123

Motley Crue wrote: »

Are you serious? I've never come across this at all or heard this before.

Yeah semen can smell alkaline sometimes. It can depend on the diet of the guy in question. Its common. If you have unprotected sex and the guy comes inside you and you do not wash afterwards (such as if you were drunk) the semen that leaks back out onto your underwear may have that smell.

Dixie Chick

I thought it was the smell of the semen and the vaginal fluids mixing actually that gave that odour?

But anyway, you will ahev to ask him unfortunately.

username123

Dixie Chick wrote: »

I thought it was the smell of the semen and the vaginal fluids mixing actually that gave that odour?

It can be the semen alone or both. Apparently garlic contributes to the musky smell for men. But yes, there can also be a smell from fluids mixing. Just in terms of something for the OP to check, its unlikely she would produce that kind of musky smell by herself.

Bambii_

biggerissue wrote: »

You poor thing, you sound very confused and a bit embarrassed but I'm afraid you are going to have to 'woman up' and ask him what happened.

Because while losing your virginity is a kinda big deal the bigger issue here isn't whether you are still a virgin or not but whether you had unprotected sex or not.

So you need to know if you did have sex, if you did whether he used a condom, and frankly, becasue you don't know this guy that well, you would probably be best off taking any answers with a pinch of salt and getting the morning after pill for yourself.

I agree with this completely. The only way you will know for sure if you had sex or not is to ask him. If you don't find out, and it ended up you did have sex, there could be complications, like an unplanned pregnancy (which could have been prevented had you known and gotten the morning after pill) or an STD that goes untreated.

There is no valid reason why you shouldn't ask (embarrassment does not count as a valid reason). In my opinion, there are too many risks in not knowing and you should ask as soon as possible.

wannabesedated

Thanks for the advice!
I'm trying to get in contact with him, added him as a friend on Facebook and will hopefully get to send him a message, I don't think we did as i've no aching or any pain at all but i just need to know for sure! If not i'll have to bite the bullet and get my friend to contact him.

I'm more worried about the STI bit as I have a condition that means its very hard to get pregnant and been on the pill for 5 years now!




Just got in contact with him we did not have sex! he said he wouldn't do that too me delighted, will be more careful from now on!

wannabesedated

How far does the penis have to go in before it counts as sex?
I got a little drunk the other night and was fooling around with a friend. I was afraid we had sex he says we didn't that we were about to but i said i couldn't he said in all honesty that it was at my entrance putting pressure on it and an almost nothing kind of entered.

Does that count as sex? i would appreciate any advice, i myself don't really consider it sex but it would put my mind at ease if someone could offer advice. i dont really want to ask my friends as i dont want them to know.

WumBuster

I think once there is any form of contact in between those areas that counts as intercourse. And he should be wearing a condom

ihsb

wannabesedated wrote: »

Just got in contact with him we did not have sex! he said he wouldn't do that too me delighted, will be more careful from now on!

Delighted! Seems you had found yourself a gentleman there

Piliger

OP - are you asking because of pregnancy ? Because it's really a medical question and you don't have to have penetration to get pregnant .... so if that is your concern you need to make some medical enquiries or read up on it online or visit your GP.

LegacyUser

it depends on your definition of sex....

full penetration could be sex...if it's a case of worrying if u lost ur virginity, then no, I wouldn't say that 'counts'

if it's in regards STD's/pregnancy - then any contact of the penis wtih the vagina is risky, the risk for pregnancy is small if the penis doesn't enter, but you can still contract STD's even if it doesn't enter and only 'touches'...I'd visit a doctor and get urself checked out either way.

But for many people, especially as you become comfortable and explore sex, then everything counts - touching, penetration, foreplay....the line gets a bit more blurred.

wannabesedated

I'm not worried about pregnancy as he did have a condom and its very difficult for me to get pregnant due to a medical condition!

I am under the impression that sex is when the penis is fully inserted? this is my opinion would i be right or wrong?

Taltos

OP - as per our charter please don't start multple threads around the same time. As these two incidences appear to be related I am merging your threads. If you have not already done so please take some time to review our charter.

Thanks
Taltos

daisybelle2008

wannabesedated wrote: »

I'm not worried about pregnancy as he did have a condom and its very difficult for me to get pregnant due to a medical condition!

I am under the impression that sex is when the penis is fully inserted? this is my opinion would i be right or wrong?

Your posts are confusing but going by what you said, you have been on the pill 5 years and he used a condom doing whatever he says. As there was only two of ye there and does not consider it was sex and you blacked out and don't remember, it is entirely up to you to still consider yourself a 'virgin' or not, no one can tell you that. It is all in your head what you decide anyway as you don't remember.

Taltos

OP - you got your answer from the other night and in terms of what consititutes penetration that is a definition not a personal/relationship issue. Thread closed.