Dont have time :/

LegacyUser

Just wondering what everyone thinks of the line

"i dont have time for a relationship"

Is it any easy get out clause or can it be a genuine reason for ending a relationship

Ickle Magoo

Hey there,

This is an advice forum - is this something that's been said to you that you require advice about, OP?

tinkerbell

If you want to make an effort, you will MAKE the time to be with them. Otherwise it's just a lame-ass excuse. Everybody has time for a relationship, if it's with the right person.

judgefudge

I think it can mean different things for different people maybe. Some people may use it as an excuse not to be exclusive or because they arent interested enough. I recently said this to someone though, because I genuinely don't have much time for a relationship and can't guarantee a lot of time will be spent together at the moment, because of work commitments.

Sleepy

Before my present relationship I used it two or three times, mainly because I wasn't looking for anything serious as I was planning to go travelling at the time, other times it just seemed a nicer line to use than the old "it's not you, it's me" crap when it was simply a case of the girl was a nice person that I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I just wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with her.

Lorna123

Everyone has time to socialize and if they find that they haven't then they should make time, "all work and no play"..... . So if you feel that in your spare time you do not want to socialize with a particular person then this means that you are just not that into them. End of.

Podgers

LexiB wrote: »

Just wondering what everyone thinks of the line

"i dont have time for a relationship"

there just not into them enough, its possibly a nice way of putting it. I have used it lately, i met a really nice girl but just didn't click, and from being in a serious relationship for 9 years i wasn't able to settle.

i think if you meet the right person you will make it work but timing plays apart too.

Piliger

LexiB wrote: »

Just wondering what everyone thinks of the line

"i dont have time for a relationship"

Is it any easy get out clause or can it be a genuine reason for ending a relationship

Of course it can be a genuine situation. A relationship needs time invested in it to grow and develop. Otherwise it stagnates and grows bitter.

If one partner of a relationship realises that s/he has really heavy commitments for the next 6 months for example, and the other partner needs to spend time together more than them - then a decision has to be made - and some are better at setting their priorities for their life than others. Sometimes building a career, or working for a key promotion or getting a degree etc. can very legitimately take precedence over a relationship that needs too much time invested in it even if they would wish it to be otherwise.

gabrielle2012

Lorna123 wrote: »

Everyone has time to socialize and if they find that they haven't then they should make time, "all work and no play"..... . So if you feel that in your spare time you do not want to socialize with a particular person then this means that you are just not that into them. End of.

I dont agree with this statement i think it can be a genuine reason maybe the person saying it is busier than the other party based on a past experience i was involved with a "silage boy" who had to look after the family farm aswel and worked all hours of the day and basically said to me he didnt have the time for a relationship due to working long days and i accepted it as a genuine reason

username123

If someone really wanted to be with you, theyd make time. Or theyd at least try to make time.

dannyc31

agreed. we dont work 24/7 365 days a year. if someone genuinely likes someone they'll at least give a relationship a chance and then if it is the case that they just dont have the time then it ends. but to say it without giving it a go, is just a get out clause. i.e. they just are'nt the right person for you.

Ickle Magoo

OK OP,

As there's been a range of responses but you haven't returned to explain how this is a RI for you and what advice specifically you require, I'm locking.

If you do have more to add then please contact a PI mod in confidence. :cool: